Despite the fact that I’d said no to a date with him, he’d still found a way to spend time with me as a friend. And for that, I wanted to kiss the fuck out of him. If only he knew how important it was for me to have a friend right now. I was desperately lonely. And scared. I knew my time before Billy’s return was ticking down, and the knowledge that I now had someone else to call friend in this big city was reassuring.
I wanted to find a way to thank Aiden for taking me out tonight, but I didn’t dare spend a single dollar on a thank you gift, since I needed every penny I’d managed to earn at work for a bus ticket, my medicine, and a roof over my head. I thought about what else I could do for him, and then his words about my journal entries came to me. He’d lost someone once to drowning. And if there was someone who understood what it was like to lose someone, it was me.
I automatically reached under my bed to grab my guitar, when the self-doubt kicked in.
Are you serious, Ashton? You’re going to write a guy like that a song? What the fuck’s he gonna do with a song?
Billy’s sneer was loud in my ear and I drew my hand back from the guitar. Aiden was clearly not someone who was wanting for money. He could buy anything he wanted.
I straightened and started to leave the room, but then stopped as I remembered Aiden’s words earlier in the night when I’d told him and Lucky I played the guitar.
It’s more important that you enjoy it…
I did enjoy it. So what if I did suck? At worst, Aiden would politely thank me and leave it at that. I didn’t think he’d be cruel like Billy and tell me to my face that I stunk. And he had said the words in my journal had struck a chord with him…
Decision made, I pulled out the guitar and began fiddling around with some ideas. I stayed up later than usual jotting down lyrics and notes until I had a little something I liked. I copied it neatly onto a sheet of printer paper and folded it carefully before slipping it into my jacket and finally letting myself drift off to sleep.
The following morning’s alarm came painfully early, so I did something I never did— pressed the snooze button until the last possible moment. I finally got up in a panic and threw the bedding off, leaving piles of clothes and wet towels all over the room and bathroom.
My stomach twisted in knots at the thought of needing to clean up and make the bed before Billy could see what a mess I’d made, but then I remembered that Billy was gone— and more than that, he and I were done. It was no longer any of his concern if I left my clothes in a pile. I strode out of the apartment with a little smile on my face and a spring in my step. It might not have seemed like much to others, but leaving those piles of clothes on the floor was like planting a flag of victory on fertile soil that had been hard-won. Getting myself back after my cardiac recovery, followed by years of Billy’s gradual control over more and more of my life, was like finally coming up from the depths to take a deep, deep breath of fresh air.
By the time Aiden came into the coffee shop that morning, my hands were shaking so hard, I thought I might spill every cup of coffee I touched. But I was determined not to let fear keep me from thanking him for the nice night out the day before.
When he approached the counter to pay for his coffee, I swallowed and gave him a smile.
“Morning, Aiden,” I said.
“Good morning, Ash. Hope you slept well after our crazy evening,” Aiden said with a wink. He slid his card through the reader on the register tablet and reached to take his drink from Emily’s outstretched hand. She quickly moved on to make the next customer’s order while nudging me with her elbow.
“Take five, Ash,” she said with a knowing gleam in her eye. I’d asked her earlier that morning if I could take a minute to talk to Aiden when he came in and she’d gone all googly-eyed at me. Even when I’d tried to dispel her of the assumption there was something between us, she’d insisted I was welcome to take as long as I wanted to visit with him when he arrived.
“Aiden? Can I… can I talk to you for a minute? I mean, I don’t want to keep you or anyth—”
Aiden’s face lit up. “Of course, let’s grab a table over here,” he said, gesturing to a quieter corner in the back.