“Bennett?” I whispered, hoping against hope that it wasn’t true. That my mind was still playing tricks on me.
“Uh,” Bennett began, but then the door was being opened, and yes, by Garrett.
“Hey, it’s the Knollwood freeloader,” Garrett said snidely. “You selling girl scout cookies or something to help pay for that scholarship?” he said with a laugh. The door opened wider to reveal several more of Bennett’s friends. I saw his father standing several feet away, arms crossed.
“I came to talk to Bennett,” I murmured, even as an ice-cold chill settled over my body.
“What, you want to tell him about some gardening emergency?” Garrett said with a laugh.
I shook my head and let my eyes connect with Bennett’s.
Wink, Bennett. Please fucking wink at me.
More tears fell as I waited, prayed… but there was nothing. Even worse, Bennett looked embarrassed.
“Come on, B,” Garrett said as he slapped Bennett on the shoulder. Pool’s calling our name.”
He was having a pool party? My dad was dead and Bennett was having a fucking pool party? The boys disappeared back into the house, leaving the two of us alone again.
“Xander…” Bennett began, but then his father’s cough interrupted him.
“You should get back to your friends, Son,” Mr. Crawford said. “Xander, you run on home. Your aunt’s probably worried about you.”
I froze for a beat before nodding and turning away. I felt numb. I tried to walk, but I couldn’t manage it. I had no pride left. So, I ran and I kept running until I reached the small caretaker’s cottage my father and I had called home for so long. But it wasn’t home anymore.
Not with my father gone. And not if Bennett was no longer the person I thought he was…
I didn’t even manage to finish my thought before I fell to my knees on the hard cement walkway and finally gave into the rolling in my stomach. When my aunt found me lying beside a pool of my own vomit ten minutes later, I let her believe my tears were only because I’d lost my father.
Even if they weren’t.
Because I’d lost so, so much more than that.
I’d lost everything.
“Xander?”
Lucky’s voice caught my attention and I managed to look up to see he’d stopped hiking at some point, which meant the entire group had and everyone was currently staring at me. A quick look at Bennett revealed the concern in his expression.
“Sorry, what?” I asked.
“Is this where we’re stopping for the night?” Lucky asked, and I quickly looked around and saw that we’d reached the lake. I nodded and automatically began giving out instructions to the kids. By the time we got the camp set up, I’d gone through all of the emotions of that night over and over, vowing yet again that I wouldn’t feel sorry for myself. I wasn’t holding a damned pity party. I refused to be sad about it any longer. I refused to be anything. Bennett had no fucking hold on me anymore. He was just some guy.
No, he wasn’t even that.
He was no one.
Just like I’d been no one that night when he’d closed the door on me.
Unfortunately, Aiden picked that moment to get in my face about something and I snapped at him, proof that maybe I wasn’t as unaffected as I wanted to be.
He stepped back and held his hands up. “Uh, chill, Ranger Rick. I was just trying to find out if you knew where the fillet knife was for the fish.”
“Your boyfriend’s the fisherman. Ask him,” I barked, picking up my water bottle and heading off into the woods so I wouldn’t be tempted to ram my fist into Aiden’s perfect face.
Chapter 12
Bennett
It was getting dark and the kids were settling down in their own tent groups for the night when I finally got Xander far enough away from the other kids to talk to him about what had happened with Aiden earlier. They’d had some kind of blowup before Xander had disappeared for the entire fishing lesson with the kids.
He’d returned to help with dinner but hadn’t said a word to anyone the entire time. Now, when I saw him head through the woods to the creek with Bear, I decided to follow him. As soon as he reached the edge of the creek and realized I was behind him, he turned and glared at me.
“Go back to camp, Bennett.”
“What the hell is going on between you and Aiden?” I asked.
“He’s an asshole. You two deserve each other. Now leave me alone.” He spun and continued toward the creek.
His jab hurt, but I pushed down the pain and asked, “Did something happen?”
This time when he turned back, the look in his eyes was a cross between hatred and anguish, and it hit me right in the gut. I wanted to double over with the pain of it, but I stood frozen instead.