“You think our stash is still in your room?” Walker asked with a mischievous grin. It took me a minute to figure out what he was referring to since we were never pot smokers or anything like that.
“The condoms and dildo? Yes. Not that the condoms would be any good ten years later,” I said with a laugh. “And I got your dildo right here, buddy.” I grabbed my dick and leered at him. He rolled his eyes with a laugh.
“Do you carry a condom on you?” he asked with sparkling eyes. I could see the lines of insecurity in his forehead though, as if he worried I wouldn’t be interested in having sex with him. Was he crazy?
“Fuck,” I muttered, patting my ass and realizing neither of us had our wallets. “Guess maybe that’s a sign we should talk instead?”
“Yeah. I guess,” he reluctantly agreed. “Come on. Let’s go sit down.”
We entered the family room and pulled some old sheets off the giant leather sofas before sitting down and getting comfortable. We sat close and turned to face each other.
“You start,” I said. When I heard my voice crack with nerves, I frowned.
Walker reached for my hand and held it between his. “This isn’t…” He took a deep breath. “This isn’t going to be easy, Otto.”
“I understand. But we have to talk about it.”
“Yeah. I know.” He looked down at our hands and played with my fingers before looking back up at me. His eyes were pinched with worry. “You already know part of it. Ross got Jolie pregnant while he was still in college, and she refused to have an abortion. I didn’t blame her. None of us wanted her to even though my parents and her mom thought having a baby that young was going to ruin their lives.” He paused and snorted softly. “I guess they were right in Ross’s case, weren’t they?”
I pulled Walker’s hand up and dropped a kiss on his knuckles before he continued.
“So their plan was to get married. Jolie’s mom kicked her out of the house when she found out about the pregnancy, and she came to live with us. Ross was living in the dorms, so it was weird. The whole thing really changed him, and I think that’s part of why my parents resented Jolie so much. He was so turned around by the unexpected pregnancy; he started fucking up his classes and making poor choices.”
I noticed Seth’s hands had begun to shake. His eyes darted around the room, not landing on anything in particular.
“Back then, Jolie was like a scared little mouse. She was terrified of my parents and tried to not be noticed in our house. I felt awful for her. It just seemed wrong that she was being judged for making a mistake people have been making for thousands of years, including her own mother. But part of the reason my parents were so rude to her is because they thought her pregnancy was causing Ross to get reckless. He was going out more and drinking more, driving when he’d been drinking and refusing to listen to anyone’s concerns.
“We tried to talk to him about it, to let him know he had our support, but he just told us we didn’t understand what it felt like to be so trapped. Him going out drinking was his only way to ‘unwind.’ So I guess we just sort of accepted that was something he needed to do in order to cope with the stress of everything. The pressure to finish school and get a job, the pressure to marry Jolie and be a true family, and the pressure to make something of himself when he really didn’t know what the hell he wanted out of life.
“I’ve often wondered if he picked that fight on purpose. Either as a way of punishing himself or maybe even him having a death wish. He was at a shitty bar one night late when someone apparently made a comment to him about how Jolie probably got pregnant on purpose to get a rich family to take care of her. At least, that’s what one of the witnesses claimed after the fact. Ross threw a punch at the guy, and the guy came back at him with a hefty pack of friends. Ross never stood a chance. There was no way to know if he knew the guy wasn’t there alone or what. Maybe he did. I don’t know. All I know is I still resent the hell out of him for doing it.”
I reached forward and pulled Seth closer so I could wrap my arms around him. He leaned his head on my chest and kept talking.
“It wasn’t his fault I decided to marry Jolie. I mean, I don’t blame him for that. Yeah, he made me promise, but after he was gone, it was my choice. But I do blame him for leaving Tisha. I blame him for leaving Jolie. And I blame him for leaving me.”