But still left out.
And at times, ganged up on.
Honestly, I’d never really cared.
(Truly, it was what it was.)
But now it hurt.
Especially Matt.
He was protective of Sasha (as was I), and they were very close, but that didn’t mean we weren’t all tight. We were a close family. A loving family. We all had our place, and we all had our relationships as a whole and with each other.
My way with Matt was that he’d always been my confidant. I knew, especially as he grew older, that I could take things to him, and he’d listen, and he was wise for his age (or he had been).
I missed that.
I missed it because I missed it, but I missed it more because now, I needed it.
So, naturally, I texted back, Excellent. I have no interest in dining with a juvenile. Text me when you grow up.
I didn’t need their shit.
I really did not.
It seemed I wasn’t going to get my way on that.
Because Matt finally broke his silence.
He did it to text, When you’re acting like a bitch, leave Sash out of it.
I did not reply.
I also sold nary an item until Madison came in. And the first thing I did when she arrived was rush out to grab a bite to eat and a coffee for both of us just so I could get some time to sort out my head.
I ate lunch at my desk, and I did not sort out my head.
From the drawer where I locked my purse, I unearthed the file a man apparently named Rhys Vaughan (though, who was named that? it was so perfectly kickass, it sounded like something a bunch of romance novel readers would come up with) had amassed for me.
I chewed on my Safeway sushi (which wasn’t half bad) and leafed through the file.
This Susan was really very pretty.
But she hadn’t led that great of a life (serial killer kidnapping her aside, she lost her mom young, and the reason that happened was so impossible to fathom, I blocked it out instantly).
I had to get back to Madison, so I put the file, with Vaughan’s card, back in the drawer, locked up and hustled out.
We fortunately had things pick up around three, so I was pretty sure I covered Madison’s salary that day (at most).
But my phone, which I left in my office for obvious reasons, was awash in notifications when I returned to it.
Sasha: That wasn’t nice.
Matt: You should apologize to Sash. She isn’t in this thing with you and me.
Mom: How about you, Sasha and I do some wedding gown shopping while I’m in LA? Fancy a weekend trip?
Dad: I’m feeling Wagyu. Would you like to join me Thursday for dinner at Capital Grille?
Judge: Do you have greenspace for Zeke, or do I need to come prepared?
Also Judge, though later: You okay?
Last from Judge, and this was what did it.
What made me decide.
Duncan told me you and your sister had a thing. Call me if you want to talk.
So somehow (probably because she was up there, living with them, and Duncan worked at home a lot so he could be close to Mom, especially in the mornings), between Sasha being a brat and Judge’s last text, Duncan had learned she was pissed at me, and for some ungodly reason, he’d shared this with Judge.
I did not want this to be my life.
“I do not want this to be my life,” I said out loud.
However, when I said the words out loud, it wasn’t the fight with Sasha and Matt that I was talking about.
As I realized this, I felt them.
They hurt.
I hated them.
I avoided them at all costs.
As such, I had practice in how to keep them at bay.
So when the tears threatened, I steeled myself against them, pulled out my laptop and got to work.
Once I’d read every section of the Kids and Trails program, it wrote itself, really.
I found some images to support the look I was suggesting, penned two strong messages we could send with a signup appeal that hinted at a funding appeal, broke those out into two loose outlines, even provided some scripting.
And then I emailed them to the addy Judge had programmed into my phone when we were at Dad’s for dinner.
This included a note that I dashed off deliberately, like it was the last thing I had to do at the end of a long day.
J-
Sorry, can’t do Wednesday or Saturday but this needs to get going.
I drafted a start.
If we could continue through email for the time being, I’d appreciate it. To that end, just send your notes in a reply.
Hope you enjoyed your Monday,
-Chloe
With that, I shut down my laptop, locked it up, did a walk-through to make sure all was good for the next day, the doors were secure, and I set the alarm before I walked out to my car and drove home.