“You said it yourself, Julian. Old habits die hard, and it was the same for me. I didn’t know where to reach you, and when you became this big shot and were all over the news and tabloids, it was hard to see you for the man you once were. You know what everyone said about you, and I couldn’t bring myself to tell you about Capri because I was terrified you were that man everyone said you were. And I wasn’t going to let you break her heart too.”
“I became that man because I’d left my heart and soul with you.”
Her hands flew to her face as she openly began to bawl. “I don’t know how to fix this. Maybe we’re just too broken beyond repair. We’ve both hurt each other so much, and I can’t keep doing this. It hurts too fucking much.”
“Kid—”
“I love you, okay? I fucking love you.”
She turned to leave, and I chased her down the hall. Grabbing her arm, I turned her to face me, but I couldn’t get a word in. She started hitting my chest, her fists pounding into my pecs.
“Why?! Why did you have to lie to me? Why couldn’t you just have faced them with me? We could have told them! They would have accepted it! My parents loved you, and so did Christian! Why did you have to break us?”
I let her hit me.
Over and over again.
I wanted her agony. I deserved it.
“I’m sorry, kid. I’m so fucking sorry.”
“You ruined us! We could have been a family!”
“Don’t you think I know that? Don’t you think I fucking hate myself for it? I can’t change the past, and looking at that photo album proved it. I want so desperately to make things right with you. I can’t live without you anymore. Not after being with you these last few weeks. My life belongs to you, Autumn. Always has, and it always will.”
She sobbed, falling to the floor, and I went with her. I held her in my arms.
Until there were no more tears.
No more hurt.
No more mistakes.
Until there was nothing but the future for ours to take.
I carried her into my bedroom and stripped off all our clothes. Leaving us bare where only our skin touched. I didn’t kiss her, I didn’t make love to her, I didn’t do any of the things I truly longed for.
Instead, I held her close to my heart. Where she could feel it only beating for her. She cried most of the night, and I kissed away every last tear. Breaking down with her.
Knowing we both needed this … to heal.
Chapter THIRTY-ONE
—Autumn—
The day had finally come, and my family, including my brother and Kinley, were coming over for the day. Julian had invited everyone. This was the first time I was going to see my brother since our altercation over two weeks ago. We’d been living here for seventeen days, and the truth was—it was starting to feel like home. Capri was loving every second of it, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t also.
I was beyond nervous of what today would bring. Fully aware of Julian’s intentions, they were pure. He wanted my family in his life. I knew he’d missed them, probably in the same way I’d missed him. Christian didn’t want to attend our gathering at first, but our mom was able to change his mind.
Julian spared no expense, having it fully catered with some of my family’s favorite food. The liquor bar was stocked, our home was ready, and the atmosphere was perfect. The minute my parents’ SUV pulled up, Capri hauled ass outside to greet them. We hadn’t seen my parents in a couple of months, the same with Christian other than the day at the restaurant.
“Grampy!” Capri jumped into my dad’s arms.
“Sweet pea, look how big you’ve gotten!”
“I know! Momma says I’ve grown an inch since you last saw me. What do you think, Grammy? Do I look bigger?”
My mom hugged her tight. “You sure do. You have to stop growing, or who’s going to be my baby girl?”
“I’d love to give you another grandchild, several actually.”
I glared at Julian.
He hasn’t seen my parents in over a decade, and that’s the first thing he says to them?
“Julian,” Mom announced, looking at him with so much affection in her stare. “You always did speak your mind. It was one of the things I loved the most about you.”
He smiled, and she didn’t hesitate, opening her arms to give him a hug. They embraced, and my father hugged him too, all of them peering at each other with warmth and love.
“Look how handsome you are.” Mom beamed. “I always knew you’d accomplish big things. We can’t tell you how proud we are of you.”
“Thank you,” he replied. “You have no idea how much that means to me, and I just want to start off by saying I’m so sorry about—”