Not even the fact that my girls look about as enthusiastic about partying as a pack of semi-drowned rats.
“Neither storm nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night shall stay this bachelorette party from the completion of its course!” I thrust my fist into the air, doing my best to rally the spirits of the seven women gathered at Icing after closing, each one more damp and pitiful than the last. “Who’s with me?!”
“Isn’t that the post office motto?” Kitty, Faith’s bestie, flips her dripping brown ponytail over her shoulder and swipes her running mascara from beneath her eyes.
She’s the wettest member of our party, having walked from her apartment with a faulty umbrella, but the rest of the ladies aren’t faring much better.
Aria’s jeans are wet to the knee and her sister, Melody’s, hair is standing up in a frizzy blond poof. Naomi is barefoot after slipping and falling trying to cross the slick concrete outside in heels, and Faith—our bachelorette—is wearing camouflage duck-hunting galoshes over her sparkly jeans and looking less than ready to party.
Lucy is the only member of our group who’s still dry, and that’s because she just moved into my old place above the bakery and hasn’t been forced out into the torrential downpour yet.
“It is the post office motto,” I say, holding my dripping umbrella as far from my body as possible, determined not to get my black cowboy boots any wetter than they are already. “But I think it works. We can’t let a little rain ruin our fun.”
“It’s more than a little rain,” Faith says. “And I really don’t mind cancelling if you guys aren’t up for braving the elements. Mick and I are both working a seventy-two-hour shift starting Monday, anyway, so I could probably use the rest.”
“But that’s thirty-six hours away! You’ll have plenty of time to rest.” I love that Faith’s so committed to her job, but even hardworking firefighters deserve a chance to cut loose and party every once in awhile.
“Come on, y’all. Don’t wimp out on me now,” I plead. “There are fancy pink drinks waiting at The Horse and Rider and they are not going to drink themselves. And cake. Did I mention cake? And appetizers and scandalous bachelorette party favors?”
“I appreciate it so much, Maddie,” Faith says. “But we could stay here and eat cake if that’s easier. I don’t need a big party.”
“But Maddie planned a big party,” Naomi says, piping up as I’m about to break into a cheerleading routine to get everyone out the door. “And I think she has a few surprises already waiting at the club. Surprises that have been paid for in advance and might be getting a little…chilly waiting around for us to show up.”
“Ohhhh…those kinds of surprises.” Aria smirks and lifts an auburn brow. “I was telling Nash I was too tired from being up with the baby to enjoy a party as much as I’d like, but if there are those kinds of surprises waiting, I say we jet. I haven’t seen a stripper since Maddie and I lived in Paris.”
Kitty’s eyes widen. “No! Strippers? Really?” She bites her bottom lip, looking delightfully scandalized. “I’ve never seen a stripper. I think I’ll laugh, is that okay?”
“It’s totally okay.” I decide to forgive Naomi for spilling my secret surprise. At least now the ladies look eager to get going. “That’s part of the fun. And these are funny strippers, not gross ones,” I hurry to assure Lucy, who has a nervous expression on her face. “Mick made me promise not to hire anyone who was going to try to rub his junk all over Faith.”
“I bet those were his exact words, weren’t they? Such a charmer, that boy of mine.” Faith laughs as she reaches for her discarded umbrella. “All right, if there are people waiting, we should get going. I’ve never seen anything close to a stripper except the night the guys at the station took it off for the Hunk-for-a-Month auction, and that was like looking at my brothers half naked. I bet it’s a lot more fun with men you don’t know.”
“These guys are from a company out of Atlanta, so we won’t know a soul,” I say, herding the group toward the back door, where I pulled Mom’s van into the alley earlier. “Everyone can leave their keys here if they’d like. Naomi and I are driving to and from the club.”
The women shuffle through the back hallway, murmuring excitedly among themselves, and I feel the tension tugging at my shoulders begin to melt away. I don’t care if Noah is about to sail his ark through downtown Bliss River, I went all out to give my future little sister-in-law a bachelorette party she’ll never forget, and I intend to enjoy this evening.
Even if my own fiancé thinks I’m taking things too far with the strippers and penis-shaped lollipops in the favor bags.