“Maybe you should convert,” I say, lowering my voice as we near the front, where most of the family is already gathered in the small pews near the ceremonial baptismal font.
I do a quick scan of the assembled company, but Maddie isn’t here. I would have spotted her instantly. She stands out in a crowd. And when Maddie’s in a room, I can’t seem to look anywhere but directly at her.
“I am converting,” Faith says, surprising me. “I mean, I was raised Assembly of God, but it wasn’t really my jam. And Mick’s Catholic so…”
“So, what?” I glance down at her, wondering why she sounds so cagey all of a sudden.
She rolls her eyes. “Nothing. I don’t want to talk about it. It’s going to be a surprise for, you know…later.”
“How much later?”
“After the wedding later,” she says. “So keep your lips zipped.”
“I don’t know anything, so how can I—”
“Exactly.” She nudges me in the side with her elbow before hurrying ahead to slide into the second pew back from the font, beside Mick, who immediately turns and puts his arm around her, drawing her close.
I smile. Apparently, Maddie and I aren’t the only ones keeping secrets until after Jake and Naomi’s wedding. I have an idea what Faith and Mick’s surprise might be—there are only so many things in life that dictate a change of religious affiliation—and an engagement would certainly help take the heat off Maddie and me.
The announcement that we’re dating would pale in comparison to the two twenty-somethings deciding to get married after dating for all of five months.
Pleasantly uplifted by the thought of sliding in under the radar, I circle around to the front pew. Jake stands to give me a quick hug. Naomi smiles up at me from where she sits with a sleeping Noelle in her arms next to the aging Father Seamus, who looks perilously close to sleep himself.
The baby’s wearing an antique christening gown that hangs past her toes and a tiny, crocheted cap. Her blue eyes are closed and her tiny fists thrown up on either side of her head as she sleeps. With her brown curls and wide, cupid-bow mouth, Noelle’s already a beauty, and looks like she could be Naomi’s biological daughter.
Or Maddie’s.
The thought of Maddie holding a baby with her blue eyes and dark curls drifts through my mind unbidden, stirring up a strange feeling somewhere behind my ribs.
Before I can sort out what the feeling is, Maddie’s perfume drifts to my nose, smelling like wildflowers and springtime and a dozen other wonderful things all rolled into one light, breezy scent.
“Oh, she looks so beautiful,” she whispers from somewhere behind me.
I turn to see her standing a few feet away, happy tears shining in her eyes, looking so stunning in a royal blue dress with ruffles above the knee that it’s all I can do not to reach out and pull her into my arms. I ache with the need to hold her, to tell her how happy I am to see her after a long day apart. I got off work yesterday at noon, but I had errands to run and then she had to head into the bakery at four this morning.
I didn’t get my full Maddie fix, and I feel it.
“Hey.” She comes to stand beside me, shooting me a quick smile that warms me all over.
I can see how glad she is to see me—she’s a bad actress, and hopeless when it comes to concealing her feelings—but Jake and Naomi will likely be too wrapped up in the christening to pay attention to the fact that we can’t keep our eyes off of each other.
And if they aren’t…who really cares?
I’m ready to claim Maddie as mine, to shout her name from the church rafters and let everyone know I’m completely gone on the woman standing beside me.
“So, who’s going to hold the baby?” Jake asks as Father Seamus stands with his Bible in hand, clearly ready to get things started before he falls asleep.
“I don’t know.” Maddie glances at me. “We haven’t talked about it.”
“I think you should, Maddie,” I say. “You’ll feel more like her mama. So, if she wakes up, hopefully she won’t get scared.”
“Okay.” Maddie smiles, a beautiful smile that breaks my heart a little.
Until Maddie, I never imagined that happiness could shatter you as much as sadness, or that I’d come to crave that sweet, pleasure-pain like nothing else.
I don’t want to stay whole when I’m with Maddie, I want her to come in swinging, to break me apart just for the bliss of being put back together with her touch, her kiss, and the way she says my name when there’s no one else around to hear her.
I’m in love with her, hopelessly in love, but I haven’t said the words again yet.