“Don’t get too excited yet,” she continues with a laugh. “I’ve had a job offer, a good one, at a private college where I’ll make almost double what I’m making now. They need someone ASAP because their full-time art professor eloped with their part-time art professor. But if I move, then Dave and I will have to work out a new custody arrangement. It’s already been hard getting the kids back and forth since he moved to Memphis. We couldn’t manage with any more distance.”
“Is he open to that?” I ask.
“Yeah, but under the new agreement, he’d have kids for six weeks in the summer. I’ve never been apart from them for that long, Maddie. I don’t know if I could handle it.”
“Maybe you could break it up a little?” I suggest. “Three weeks at the start of the summer, and three weeks at the end or something?”
Dawn makes a considering sound. “That could work, but even three weeks seems like a lot. I was missing them like crazy after the retreat and that was only a few days.”
“I can imagine,” I say. “It’s definitely a hard call.”
We talk for a few more minutes—weighing the pros and cons of the potential move—and by the time we hang up I’m grateful for the much-needed shift in perspective.
Sure, I went through a terrible break-up and maybe have a few more scars than I realized until confronted with another man acting like he cares about me. But at least Serge and I don’t have to worry about custody or visitation. In many ways I’m far less encumbered by my previous relationship failures than my friends.
Now I just need to woman up and take my love life by the horns. I have to gather my courage and confront Jamison.
If he’s as into me as he seems to be, he’ll be willing to talk through my issues.
And if he isn’t inclined to listen…
Well, that will tell me everything I need to know about whether it’s time to end things.
I tuck my cell into my pocket and hurry down the stairs, feeling lighter than I have since I crawled off the fire station roof.
I sweep behind the counter, fill orders faster than Lucy can ring them up, and whip up dough for tomorrow like a speed demon. I concentrate on work, refusing to glance at the clock or count down the hours until Jamison is due to give his secret knock at my back door.
Chapter Twelve
Jamison
I step into The Horse and Rider around four o’clock, still feeling off-kilter after this morning with Maddie.
I keep racking my brain, trying to figure out where I went wrong and coming up empty. I talked about feelings a little, I guess, but in my experience most women love that kind of thing.
Besides, Maddie’s the one who said she wanted us to have a shot at something serious.
Maybe she’s changed her mind.
Maybe she’s decided you’re not relationship material, after all.
Scowling at the thought, I cross the room and settle onto a stool near the bar. I order a Corona, hoping a beer or two before I meet up with Maddie will help me relax.
Being stressed is one of my least favorite things, and not a feeling I usually associate with dating.
The moment things get stressful, I walk. I routinely bail at the first sign of impending angst and have never felt bad about it. My philosophy has always been—beginnings should be easy. If they’re not, better to get out before shit gets any worse.
But the thought of putting an end to things with Maddie makes my stomach pitch. I love being with her. Making her laugh, making her come, seeing her eyes light up every time I walk in a room because she loves having me around.
Or so I’d thought…
“Hey, what’s up, man? You off today?”
I turn to see Mick Whitehouse sliding onto the stool beside me. The younger man’s curly black hair is darker than Maddie’s, but their eyes are the same shade of blue, so identical any chance of banishing her from my thoughts evaporates as soon as Mick plops down beside me.
“Yeah. Came in for a quick beer or two before I meet a friend,” I say. “Can I buy you a round?”
“Sure, thanks,” Mick says.
I signal for the bartender to bring another Corona before turning back to Mick. “What about you? Drinking alone?”
“No, I’m meeting friends from high school for beer and wings after they get off work,” he says. “Faith’s at the station again tonight, and I didn’t want to stay home alone. I get all pathetic and mopey by her third night on duty.”
I grin. “Life as a firefighter’s main squeeze not all you thought it would be?”
He shrugs. “It’s not always easy. But things will get better soon. I’m starting the academy next month. By Christmas I’ll be a firefighter, too, and Jake’s already made it pretty clear he’ll make sure Faith and I are on the same schedule.”