He couldn’t forget the look in Ka’rissa’s eyes as she was led away or the soft feel of her lips pressed to his after the duel. Nor could he forget her words, “I love you!”
And I told her I loved her too, yet I’m standing here, watching her walk away, he thought. But what else could he do? Commander Sylvan had sent him here only to guard the Princess—not to fall in love with her or to let her fall in love with him. If he tried to act on their mutual love, it would very probably cause an incident that would reflect badly on the Kindred and even ruin relations between his people and the Regalians.
It was a conundrum James had never had to face before—a messy, emotional problem he should never have gotten into in the first place. And yet, how could he help himself? He had started having emotions for Ka’rissa so gradually he hadn’t even realized what was happening until he was already in the middle of the mess he currently found himself in.
That’s not true, a guilty little voice whispered in his head. You know that you were already having emotions before you left the Mother Ship. You know you should have gotten your emotion damper fixed before you came here in the first place. But no—you were having too much fun trying new foods and exotic new experiences. This is why the Collective outlawed emotions on Zeaga Four in the first place—they always lead to trouble!
No, there was nothing he could do to help Rissa except to stay and guard her until her wedding was over, James admitted to himself. But could he really stand by and watch her get Joined to another male?
He just didn’t know.
43
“Good evening, Princess. You look even more radiantly beautiful in person than you do in your pictures.” Lord Shammington bowed gracefully over Rissa’s hand and gave her a gleaming smile. “Would you favor me with a dance?”
Dutifully, Rissa bowed and smiled and allowed him to lead her onto the dance floor.
On the outside, her new suitor truly did seem perfect, she admitted to herself as they spun about the room. He had a handsome face, a gleaming, youthful smile, thick, dark hair, and a trim, athletic figure. He also had the pearly Sheen to his skin which announced that he had Royal blood in his veins.
The only negative things Rissa could find about her new suitor—other than the fact that he was not James—was that he was a bit short and that he wore rather a lot of some very strong, spicy cologne. But she was short herself, so his height didn’t really matter and she supposed that sooner or later the scent would fade.
If the Steward had chosen him as her suitor before she met James, she would probably have fallen in love with him.
But as it was, Rissa found she couldn’t get over her longing for the big Kindred, who stood at the side of the room and watched as she danced with her soon-to-be husband. Her eyes kept returning to him again and again and her answers to Lord Shammington’s polite questions about her life were vague and distracted.
Her apparent lack of interest didn’t appear to bother her new suitor at all, however. He kept chatting away happily as he spun her around and around the ballroom, claiming her for dance after dance so that no other partner even had a chance.
The only good thing, as far as Rissa could see, was that Lady Mildew had consented to let her take off the awful new Chastity Device so that she was able to dance.
“But it’s going right back in tonight after your bath,” she’d said, glaring warningly at Rissa. “And I’ll give the key remote only to your new husband. So don’t get any ideas about running away with that Kindred guard, girl—he wouldn’t be able to get to you even if he tried!”
So for one evening only, she was free of the shield that rubbed so painfully against her outer mons and the plug which dug into her tender inner channel. Rissa couldn’t help wondering how in the world she could bear to let her new husband slake her Heat after wearing the awful device all through the lengthy wedding ceremony. Even now, with the plug out of her, she felt so raw inside that dancing gracefully was an effort. She supposed she would just have to bear it.
But no—she could not stand to think of doing such intimate things with the man who was holding her in his arms. She wanted only James to make love to her and slake her Heat! The thought of letting the powdered and perfumed dandy who was spinning her around the ballroom do that to her made Rissa cringe inside.