In the meantime, all he could do was wait and hope that she would trust him.
28
It was difficult getting to sleep without the cool, solid form of her Kindred warrior beside her. Rissa tossed and turned, feeling sweaty and miserable in her bed, alone for the first time since James had come into her life almost a month ago.
Had it really only been a month? Goddess, she felt as though she’d known him forever. And yet, she couldn’t tell him what had happened to her—couldn’t bear to see the look of disgust on his face when he knew how she had been compromised and that she was, even now, quite possibly pregnant with another man’s baby.
What am I going to do? I cannot marry the Duke—it would mean a lifetime of misery and despair.
But if she was carrying his baby, what other choice did she have? Also, if he started spreading rumors that he’d had her in a compromising position and had given her a deep kiss…
No, one thing at a time, Rissa told herself. First, she must know if she truly was pregnant.
It should be easy enough to tell—she was generally very regular in her courses and her Moon Blood was due tonight. She had only just finished her womanly cycle the day before James had come into her life, and now it was time for it to begin anew.
If only it would! If only she could wake up tomorrow and see the red flower blooming on her white sheets! Rissa was sure she could deal with the Duke’s other threats as long as she knew she didn’t have his baby growing in her belly.
Maybe I’ll be lucky and his seed won’t have taken root inside me, she thought hopefully. If I wake up tomorrow and my Moon Blood has started, I’ll know that I’m in the clear.
But what if she didn’t start? What could she do then?
Once more, she had only the words of her friend, Alyssa, to guide her.
“But what can you do, if you’ve got a baby that you don’t want?” Rissa had asked, both horrified and fascinated by what her friend had been telling her about where babies came from. “Can you spit the man’s seed back out, before it reaches your stomach?”
Alyssa had shaken her head.
“No, it doesn’t work that way, silly! The only way to get rid of it is to brew a tea with honeybell vines in it and drink it straightaway.”
“Honeybell vines? But…aren’t those poisonous?” Rissa had asked, her eyes wide.
Alyssa had shrugged.
“They can be, if you take too much of them. But I’ve heard it said that they’re the only way to make the baby go away and get your Moon Blood flowing again. However, you must do it quickly, before your belly begins to swell! After the seed has taken root, it’s too late.”
It had seemed like a drastic course of action to Rissa, but now she was seriously considering it. Because, well—what else could she do?
If I wake up and I haven’t started my courses, I’ll try the honeybell vines in my tea at breakfast, she told herself. It would be a risk, but it was one she was willing to take, Rissa decided.
Anything was better than having the Duke’s baby.
29
“You’re up early, Princess,” James remarked, as he walked into the main bedchamber. He’d spent a restless night in the smaller, front sleeping room, getting up from time to time to check on Ka’rissa and make certain she wasn’t overheating.
She’d had a restless night herself, as he well knew. Almost every time he’d checked on her, she’d been tossing and turning and mumbling in her sleep. Her dreams seemed to be bad ones, from what he could gather.
“No!” she’d been moaning, as she thrashed from side to side. “No, please—I do not want it—I cannot have it! Please, make it go away!”
James had chilled his hands to stroke and caress her forehead and cheeks, cooling her down as best he could. He wished again that he knew what was bothering her—he missed holding her in his arms and keeping her cool all night.
He wondered if the Princess had missed him too. Despite his best efforts, she looked close to overheating. Her hair was in a tangle and her nightdress was soaked through with sweat. But she had a determined look in her eyes that he didn’t understand.
“Thank you, James, I am quite well,” she said, nodding at him. “I must get washed up and then I think I shall take a stroll in the gardens before breakfast. I think…” She cleared her throat. “I think I’d like to decorate the breakfast table with some honeybell blossoms. They are blooming this time of year and so lovely.”
“I’ll go with you,” James said at once. It wasn’t unheard of for Ka’rissa to want a stroll in the garden before breakfast. She loved the exotic flowers that grew there.