Eden shifted on her feet, her chin quivering. Sadness streaked through those eyes. She tried to hide it by dropping her gaze to the ground, but I saw the moisture rise to the surface.
My chest tightened.
How had she gained the power for that single look to destroy me?
“You should have been here,” she whispered on an exhale. “We were—” She clipped off whatever she was going to say, her lips hard when she forced, “He was worried.”
In longing, she looked at my son.
“Yeah, I should have been, but it wasn’t because I don’t care. Wasn’t because I simply lost track of time.” I angled in closer, letting the words grate from my tongue. Or maybe it was just my defenses sliding out. “Wasn’t like I was gettin’ my cock sucked by one of my whores or doing God knows what.”
An earthquake rocked me.
I couldn’t stop this feeling that was taking me over.
She didn’t understand and I fuckin’ wanted her to.
Fuck. I wanted her to.
Her throat tremored when she swallowed. “I didn’t say that.”
I moved on her, coming closer, swallowing up her breaths and sucking down her aura. My mouth moved close to her ear. “No, but that’s what you were thinking, wasn’t it? That I’m a shitty dad?”
“No.” She blinked, and she angled so she could barely see my face. “Trent…I—”
Eden was cut off when Gage came skipping our way, singing The Wheels on the Bus that he’d been driving me out of my damned mind with for the last week, but because I loved the kid so much, I typically just sang along.
She jumped back when she realized how close we were. That energy rushing and whirring and winding us tight.
Magnetic.
Neither of us knew how to stay away when it was clear that was exactly what we had to do.
I looked back at her. “I’m sorry I was late. I texted. I called. Left a message on your cell letting you know. It was out of my hands. Next time, I’ll be sure to call one of my brothers from work so I don’t put you out.”
I wasn’t about to lose my son over some closing bell, and that was just the way it was when Juna Lamb was in control. But if it was gonna cause this kind of reaction in Eden, someone I’d been fool enough to think I could rely on with a bit of this bullshit, then I’d figure something else out.
“You ready, Dad?” Gage swiped up his backpack from where it rested against the fence, swung it on, and took my hand.
Little fingers curled around mine.
The anxiety that’d been racing the entire day eased just a bit.
I gave him a gentle squeeze. “Yeah, buddy, I am.”
I started to turn and walk but swung back around to meet Eden Murphy’s eyes. “Think what you want, Kitten…but I would claw my way through Hell to get to my kid.”
Twelve
Eden
I stood rooted by the gate, hugging my arms over my chest with my eyes locked on the two of them moving to Trent’s car. Gage had his hand wrapped in his father’s, prattling away as he skipped at his side.
While a war waged within me.
God, my heart was nothing but a mottled, bleeding mess.
The barely healed over scars were trying their best to rip open wide.
There was a huge piece of me that wanted to chase after them like they were where I belonged.
All while old memories raged against it.
Waiting and waiting and waiting. The sky turning from blue to pink to gray before a Sheriff had pulled into the lot.
Gage climbed into the backseat and into his booster. His sweet voice was still a chatter that drifted on the warm air, even though I couldn’t make out what he was saying.
Trent leaned his towering, dark frame over his son, wisped a kiss to the child’s forehead.
The man was so tender and so rough that my knees wobbled where I tried to stand firm.
It was a vain attempt with the shockwave of intensity that ripped through the space when the man straightened and moved around the front of his flashy car, slaying me with a look that was a cross between anger and an apology.
His back against a wall.
I knew it.
Could feel it. His desperation in the way he’d flown into the lot, as if he’d been trying to outrun a ghost that had been chasing him down.
His eyes wild and his spirit frantic.
And I guessed I’d been trying to dodge a ghost of my own. Standing in this spot and waiting for someone I cared about to show and terrified they wouldn’t.
Care.
The realization punched me in the stomach.
I did.
I cared. So much and too fast, and I knew I was nothing but a fool for allowing myself to feel it.
So what had I done?
I’d let my own anger and confusion tear him down.