That did crazy-ass things to me, too. A little rage and a lotta awe, my fiery little Kitten going to bat for one of her kids.
My kid.
And I got that fucked up sense again—one that I was looking on something that was right. Something that was good.
I shook that bullshit off because you didn’t get good when you had no good to give.
“Dad, guess what?” Gage shouted as he pranced my way.
“What is it, buddy?” I asked, though most of my attention was locked on the woman who looked like she wanted to punch me in the throat.
We were all standing at the fence by that time, staring at each other through the wrought iron rods keeping us apart.
“We had pigs in a blanket for lunch. You know what’s that? That’s the tiniest little hot dogs you ever seen.” He giggled it while clutching to Eden’s hand. “And they have bread for blankets! See…pigs in a blanket.”
He cracked up like it was the funniest thing he’d ever heard.
My chest tightened, and I glanced his way, love pouring out, that flood way more fuckin’ powerful than the deluge of anger Eden Murphy had flowing on me.
“No way,” I exuded through the clusterfuck of emotions.
“Yes way!” Gage grinned. All dimples and tiny teeth. “They were deeees-licious. And that’s with a capital D. You think we can have some at our house for dinner? Is it okay if I be the chef, Dad? I’ll make ’em so good.”
“We’ll see what we can do, buddy.”
The whole time, Eden itched at his side.
“See, Miss Murphy. My dad’s the best dad in the whole world.” He was gazing up at her with that expression on his face. One of sheer belief. Affection took the place of her anger as she looked down at him before she turned her attention back to me.
Autumn eyes narrowed in hostility and some kind of hurt I couldn’t pinpoint.
Something haunted. I was the idiot who wanted to touch her face. Ask her what it meant. Beg her to get it. To understand the lengths I had to go. The position I was in. But I couldn’t let anyone go there. I was a fool for even thinking it.
I reached up for the latch on the gate.
Eden huffed and muttered, “Typical,” under her breath.
“What’s your problem?” I hissed even lower, tripping on the mess of emotions that threatened to knock me from my feet.
“What’s my problem?” She gritted her teeth. “I think that should be obvious.”
“Gage, why don’t you show me how you can go down the slide?” I suggested through the affliction.
“Really?”
“Yup, do it fast.”
He untangled his hand from Eden, and my boy was making a beeline back toward the playground, shouting the whole time, “Watch this, watch this!”
“Watching,” I hollered as I flicked the latch and pushed through. Eden stumbled back, a surprised sound coming from her mouth.
“What’s your problem, Miss Murphy?” I demanded again, a knife twisting through my chest, eyes flicking between her and the kid because I wasn’t going to miss him going down the slide. “Just say it.”
“You’re more than an hour late.” The words shook.
“Didn’t notice.” Sarcasm dripped from my voice.
Yeah. Couldn’t help but get pissed, too. That she was over there making assumptions and she didn’t have the first clue.
She scoffed out a broken sound. “That…that exactly right there,” she begged below her breath. “That little boy was sitting over there by himself waiting for you…watching every other kid get picked up on time because their parents actually make them their priority. I had to drag him over to the playground to keep him distracted while you were off doing God knows what.”
Was she serious?
I was in her face. Towering over her. Rage snapping my teeth.
Fear and uncertainty stuttered her chest, and her gaze was darting all over my face, like she was looking for who I was. For a worthy explanation. For a reason to trust me.
“You don’t have a fuckin’ clue, Miss Murphy.” It was all I could give her and that sucked, too.
Gage shouted, “Here I go!”
Eden stepped back, her arms crossed over her chest as she stood there and warred. The two of us watched him hop into position and use the handles for leverage to propel himself faster. He threw his hands in the air and laughed hysterically the whole way down. He toppled off into the dirt at the bottom, and the second he hit it, he hopped up and had his arms thrown above his head. “Touch down! How was that, Dad? Did you like it? Did you see how fast I went?”
“Perfect ten,” I bellowed, trying to keep the anger out of my voice, but it was back full force when I looked at his teacher.
My employee.
At this woman who had me in motherfuckin’ knots.
“You have no idea what I do for that kid.”