Molly prayed to God her eyes weren’t red, and even smiled as she set the trays down on the kitchen counter. “Hey, Beth.”
She could see the concern in Beth’s expression, and she feared that there was even a little pity there, too. “You know, Julian came by the house the other day. To speak to Landon. He resigned from the Daily.”
Molly nodded as her airway constricted. “Good for him.”
Beth studied her. Molly knew she was a good woman. She had known heartache and a horrid divorce before she had found true love in her life, and suddenly Molly wanted to wail her heart out to her. Because surely this woman would understand how it felt when you were ripped apart, shredded like your notes and broken. But then Kate’s heart would break for Molly if she saw her like this, and Molly didn’t want to break her sister’s heart.
It was her own fault that all this had happened. Kate had warned her so many times, so, so many times, about Julian. Maybe Molly had even had it coming.
“You know—” Beth grasped her hand and gave her an encouraging squeeze “—if it makes you feel any better, he’s not doing too good, either.”
Molly looked down at her bare toes, her chest heavy as if it were carrying the weight of a whole country. “It doesn’t,” she admitted, feeling like a bug as she remembered Julian’s anger, his disappointment. The last thing she’d wanted was to make him suffer. “But thanks anyway, Beth.”
That afternoon she went back to finishing the two canvases she had left for her exhibit at the Blackstone Gallery in New York. They ended up awful, tenebrous and depressing, reflecting her mood. But she still owed the gallery these two works, and because she had no time to start anew, they would have to do.
At night she lay in bed, her eyes dry as she heard Kate on the phone: “Not doing well… What are we going to do?”
Molly wanted to make a humble suggestion and tell her, and whomever she was talking to, to stay the hell away from her life, but then she just put her pillow over her face and groaned.
“Molly,” Kate said from the door, a shaft of light entering with her.
“I heard you, Kate. I have ears, you know
, and we don’t live in a mansion,” she grumbled angrily, flinging the pillow aside.
The mattress squeaked as her sister sat by her side and took her hand. “I’m sorry, Moo. I think we’ve made a terrible mistake. With you and Julian, I mean.”
“No. You were right all along.” Molly rolled to her side and pulled her hand free to stick it under her cheek, suddenly rejecting any physical contact that didn’t come from where she most craved it.
“Molly, we’re planning something. Garrett, Landon, Beth and I. If I tell you what it is, will you go with it?”
“If it involves me lying again to anyone or pretending to be something I’m not, count me out.”
“No, Moo, this is actually a good plan,” Kate said, a smile in her voice. “All you’d really need to do is follow some instructions in a note that I’m going to give you this weekend. The note will lead you to Julian.”
“I hate him.”
“You do?”
“I’ve never met such a frustrating bastard in my life!”
“All right, then.” The bed squeaked again as Kate got up to leave.
Molly sprang back up on the bed, her heart picking up speed as she switched on the lamp, and frantically blurted, “I was never really with him, Kate. It was all a lie. I was confused and thought that Garrett was the one who kissed me that night at the masquerade. I foolishly thought Julian could help me make Garrett jealous so he’d come around, but then I realized all along…”
Kate cocked her head from the doorway, her eyes brimming with understanding. “I know,” she said. Coming back, she sat down and ran her hand down the length of Molly’s hair. “Do you really think I believed that little act? You two were so obviously not lovers I could’ve laughed if I hadn’t been so very worried.”
“But it was actually Julian who kissed me at the masquerade and I…I got mixed up. It was like my soul recognized him, but my brain couldn’t or maybe didn’t want to. All I know is that I needed to find this man and I needed to be with Julian while I did… It’s his fault I can never look at other men, never want to be with anyone else. I even think I was pretending to want to make Garrett jealous but really wanted to make Julian jealous instead.”
“I know, I know. Relax. That man is your rock, Molly. And you’re his soil. You have to be with him. We made a grave mistake keeping you two apart for so long. Garrett is worried sick about him. He’s been running himself to death. Not eating. Not opening up to anyone. His family feels responsible for this, even his mother is trying to apologize for all her earlier threats, and he won’t hear anything from anyone. He’s really hurting, Molly. You want him, don’t you?”
“You have no idea,” she gasped brokenly, nodding so fast she was almost dizzy. The mere idea of being able to see him again was electrifying. Of talking to him. Touching him, even if only with the merest tip of her littlest finger. Oh, God, it hurt so much to love him from afar, reminding her of all the misery of growing up without him.
She had always dreamed of having a family, because hers had been broken before she’d even gotten to know her own parents. She’d just never tried for one of her own because she’d believed Julian would never be a part of it. Now a little kernel of hope sprang in her center, and she opened her eyes.
But she feared to hope too much and end up wretched. “Why?” she asked Kate. “Why is everyone going to help us, after all this time?”
“Because I love you, Molly. And you love him. And he loves you. And we all love you both.”