His stomach sank. He switched his communicator off and stared blankly at the opposite wall.
Tomorrow.
Feeling oddly numb, Rohan left the room and headed back to Tmynne’s.
Closing the door softly behind him, he walked back to his daughter’s crib and stared at the sleeping baby. The familial bond between them pulsed softly with peace and comfort. She was dreaming of something pleasant, her small mouth curling into a smile that was both Jamil’s and, somehow, her own. She was going to be a beauty when she grew up.
Rohan’s heart swelled, his chest so tight he could barely breathe. He breathed evenly, reinforcing his mental shields so that the turmoil of emotions inside him didn’t wake her. Their familial bond was no longer the tiny trickle it was when he’d arrived at the palace more than a month ago, but a strong stream of affection and protectiveness that flowed between their minds. It was definitely going to confuse her when he suddenly disappeared from her life. And it was entirely his fault. Every time he held her, every time he played with her and had her smile and giggle at him, the bond became stronger. He’d known that, but he had done it all the same.
Thoughtless. Selfish. Greedy.
Clenching his jaw, Rohan covered his daughter with a blanket, careful not to wake her.
And then he left.
His feet carried him in the direction his other bond pulled him. If his bond to Tmynne was like a gentle, calm stream, his bond to Jamil was like a river during springtime, with more water than the riverbanks could contain. Their bond had only become more powerful over the past month, solidifying into something that was, frankly, frightening. It went deeper than mental or physical attraction. Soul-deep. It was basic, elemental, and it changed him in ways Rohan hadn’t thought possible.
It should have frightened him.
Rohan had never felt this way about someone. He woke up and went to sleep holding Jamil in his arms, and it still somehow wasn’t enough. He felt like he would never get enough, hunger gnawing in the depth of his soul, hunger like no other. He could never get as deeply into Jamil as he wanted, could never kiss those soft, plump lips hard enough; it was never enough. He wanted more, more, and more, every day, sometimes twice or thrice a day. He felt like a green boy who’d just discovered what his dick was for, not an adult man with two decades of sexual experience. Of course it didn’t help that Jamil’s heightened senses made them both horny—it was normal for people who’d just gotten their childhood bond removed to feel heightened arousal—but it wasn’t just that. It had been over a month and Jamil was now completely settled in his skin, fully in control of his telepathy and his body.
They still craved each other.
Even simply being in Jamil’s presence was satisfying in ways Rohan couldn’t explain. He liked looking at Jamil, loved watching him smile. It was—
It was fucking frightening how much he loved it. He couldn’t imagine not being able to see Jamil every day. The mere thought made his stomach clench into a tight knot.
Rohan reached Jamil’s office and leaned against the wall, waiting. He could feel that Jamil was currently occupied, Jamil’s mind focused on the person he was speaking to.
On the wall, the ancient clock was ticking, the sound regular and even.
Rohan glared at it, feeling a spike of irrational anger at the person who was taking away the precious little time they had left.
Jamil seemed distracted now, probably feeling him outside the office and likely feeling his anxiety. Rohan wasn’t surprised when he dismissed the person shortly afterward.
It was some councilor, who looked annoyed and baffled as he emerged out of the office. Rohan should have probably bowed to him, but at that moment he had no patience to act like a servant. He strode into the office and shut the door behind himself.
“Didn’t we have this conversation?” Jamil said in an exasperated tone that contradicted his smile. “You can’t keep coming here when I’m working, Rohan! You know how distracting you are. I can never focus when you’re around. I’m the Crown Prince. I can’t just…” He trailed off, his smile fading as he peered closer at Rohan. Rohan, who still stood leaning against the door, just looking at him intently. Jamil frowned. “Rohan?”
Rohan bit the inside of his cheek so hard he tasted blood.
He stared at that lovely, dear face, and felt like he was choking on raw emotion. You’re mine. You should be mine.
He swallowed the words back in. They would only make everything worse.
“I’m leaving tomorrow. Or rather, tonight. I still have to reach the Blind on an aircraft.”
Jamil’s face went terribly still. He wasn’t even blinking.
“Tonight?” he whispered.
“Warrehn and Sirri arranged a meeting with the High Adept. Tomorrow. If all goes well, we’ll go home to plan our approach to the Council. If it doesn’t go well…” He trailed off, unable to say it.