“Fourteen so far,” I answer without hesitation. “Change is difficult, uncertainty is difficult, doing my fucking job is difficult,” I stress, feeling the frustration rise.
“What am I supposed to tell them, Adrian? Rumors are going around about us and they’re coming to me like I’m the one who did this,” she starts and before she can continue, I stop her in her tracks. Toe to toe I stand apart from her.
“I am doing my best. If my best isn’t good enough, then they can go find better.” My words are stern and she acts as if they’ve struck her. Gripping her hips in both of my hands, I lower my lips to hers to say, “And if any of them have a problem with the two of us, tell them I want you more than anything. More than this company. More than profit, more than any fucking thing. I want you.”
She’s silent, her wide blue eyes brimming with a mix of emotions. Her hands on my chest puts distance between us, so I take them in my own.
“I want you,” I repeat, my voice strained and the words raw. “I want you,” I tell her a third time, letting it sink in. “This will all be over soon, and when it is, I will still want you.”
“Adrian,” she says and my name is a plea on her lips, like I’m begging her for something she can’t give me. Panic sets in, something I haven’t felt in a long damn time.
She knew this was a possibility. I will vouch for her if something happens, but her résumé is impeccable. She will survive. I’ll make sure of it. But I cannot guarantee an entire department. I can’t promise her the things she’s asking for.
“Tell me you want me.”
“Adrian,” she whispers and her voice is pained. It’s unexpected and feels as if she’s struck me. I can’t remember a time when I've given her a command and she hasn’t obeyed.
Moving my hands to hold her, one spearing through her hair and the other on the small of her back, I whisper in her hair before kissing her temple. “Tell me that you want me and I’ll make sure you get everything you need.”
All I can hear is the sound of her swallowing. I can’t lose her over something like this. Something so insignificant. It’s significant to her, though.
“It’s after six,” I remind her. “Come here, let me fuck the memory of that prick boss out of that pretty head of yours.”
“Don’t,” she warns me and uncertainty clouds my judgment. Every inch of my skin is hot, anxiousness quickening my pulse.
“Let it rest for one more night. I promise your department will be the priority tomorrow.” I shouldn’t have said that. The second the words are out of my mouth, I know I shouldn’t have spoken them.
“You promise?”
And still, I double down at the thought that it’s what she needed to hear. “I promise.”
She pulls back, staring into my eyes. “You promise? Because I don’t think I can take much more of what happened today and as much as—”
“I told you, you have my word.” With my pulse hammering, I bend to kiss her, deeply and desperately. I’ve lost the upper hand and I couldn’t care less. Her lips mold to mine, but she’s quick to break them.
“I’m sorry,” she whispers between us. Picking her ass up, I move her to the desk, her legs spread as I stand between them.
She repeats, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have come in when I was—”
“Stop,” I say and then kiss her again.
“No.” She pushes me back, breaking my hold on her and heaving in a breath. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you that I want you too. I do. I do, Adrian, and I’m sor—”
With my finger pressed against her lips, I give her the command, “I said quiet.” Heat dances along my skin. Both of us pent up, both of us suffering from the way we came to be.
Working the knot of my tie, I order her, “Lie back, with your hands by my chair.”
She doesn’t hesitate, eager to make it up to me.
My mind whirls with the implications of what’s happened in the last hour, but I can barely focus on anything other than taking back control.
“You’ll be quiet,” I tell her in a whisper, steadying my breath as I use my tie to form a handcuff knot and stalk around to the other side of the desk. Slipping both of her hands through, I tighten them and then order, “Above your head.”
She doesn’t object and although the loose end is short, I’m able to tie it to the drawer handle. Lying flat on her back across the desk, her hands above her head, she has to bend her knees so her heels balance on the edge of the desk.