My hand trembled as I looked down at the white stick again. The pink lines were as clear as they were on the box, telling a tale that brooked no doubt.
I was pregnant. Just as suspected.
Disbelieving, I stumbled back. The cold sink dug into my back and stopped me from crashing to the bathroom floor. Quick breaths rushed through my lungs, one after the other—faster and faster.
Oh god. I was going to pass out, but that wouldn’t be good for the baby.
So my fingers dug into the hard edge of the sink, knuckels turning white with determination. I forced myself to calm down. If I passed out, I would hit my head. I could hurt the baby. This wasn't just about me anymore. There was more to the world and to my very existence.
I was truly pregnant. I was going to be somebody's mother, in a matter of months in fact.
Oh god! What next?
But all my plans were in disarray now. Because after Alpha Prime left, I got this studio and signed up for a few creative writing classes at the community college. There was a strict budget to make my money last as long as it could. But with a baby, the cash would be gone in a snap.
“Get a job to keep that money trickling in,” my dad had recommended.
I wished I’d listened to him when he said that. Because who would hire a pregnant woman now? One who lumbered this way and that, her enormous belly like a giant beach ball?
The direction of my life suddenly changed forever. But a fluttering in my stomach distracted me from my thoughts and I touched my belly.
My belly. My baby.
My blue-eyed, dark haired baby. He or she would look like Nick, Mason and Trent. Their genes were strong and anyone looking at my child would see their reflection. I would know it, too. They would forever be stamped in my memories.
And suddenly, the tide of my thoughts turned. Amid the panic and shock, suddenly happiness began to trickle in. A small rivulet at first, but slowly gaining steam and becoming a wonderful gush.
Because I wanted this child. I wanted this reminder of my love for the three men, the months that had been the best time in my life. Maybe it was unrealistic, silly, and nothing more than the hallucinations of a pregnant woman. But suddenly, a feeling of well-being flooded my soul, surrounding my heart with a balm.
Because now I’d have a piece of Alpha Prime for the rest of my life. Their child. A precious reminder. A beautiful baby girl or boy, smiling back at me with dimpled cheeks and clear blue eyes.
But right. Nothing was so easy. I needed a plan.
Unfortunately, my mind was a blank. Sniffling still, I wiped away the tears that kept falling and walked back into the main room of my tiny apartment. My mom would want to know, and Ethel would be full of ideas. Phone in hand, I dropped down onto the couch, and jumped when my bottom landed on the remote.
Rock music suddenly filled my little studio. A choke left my throat as blood rushed in my ears. Because Music TV was playing a familiar song, “Katy Baby” live.
Slowly, my eyes found the screen and it was true. Alpha Prime filled the small monitor, panning in on those rock hard bodies and handsome faces. My pussy tingled, and yet for the first time, there was a strange sensation of peace. These men weren't mine. They had never been mine, and no matter what I thought and no matter what they told me, Nick, Mason and Trent didn’t belong to me.
A red tag flashed at the bottom of the TV. Live at Madison Square Garden, it read.
Oh my gosh, Alpha Prime was in town? Right here in New York?
I gasped again and choked on my own breath. My men were in town. Salty tears gushed down my face and into my mouth. Snot ran down my nose and my entire body prickled with heat and then cold.
They're actually here.
Happiness rushed through me, but then also sorrow. Because the men weren’t mine. They were performing for a crowd of screaming fans, giving it their all under the hot stage lights while clearly oblivious to their growing baby.
My baby. Our baby.
I forced myself to look again. On screen, the guys were sexier than ever. Trent prowled the stage in tight jeans, his bare chest soaked with sweat and a snarl on that handsome face. The screaming crowd couldn’t get enough of him.
Nick was equally gorgeous but looked like he didn't care about what he was doing. Careless with just the right amount of cool. Gorgeous and predatory at once.
Just behind them, Mason beat on the drums like a man on a mission. His usually happy face was set in a scowl, but nothing could hide the perfect planes of his face and the broad shoulders behind the cymbals.
They were in New York. I could go see them if I wanted to. Ask them why they left me the way they did. Maybe I could even tell them about the baby.