“That’s bull! You’re smart and sweet. You make me laugh. The way you just fired up tells me you’d be every bit as feisty in defense of your kid.”
She sat back and contemplated him. “You mean, I shouldn’t let my parents’ failings stop me from having a full life.”
Did she look smug? His eyes narrowed. “Did you just set me up?”
“Maybe.” She smiled at him. “All I can say is—ditto.”
“Message received.” Although nobody would call him sweet. He had a bad feeling that as a parent he’d be as impatient and dictatorial as he was with his staff. And as incapable as he was of making emotional connections, what if he distanced himself from his own kids?
And why in hell was he thinking about this at all?
Because of Cait, of course.
Hiding his perturbation, he lifted his hands to her breasts, which nicely filled his palms. She looked down, watching as he played. He splayed his fingers enough to let her nipples peek out, then rubbed them between those fingers.
“Pretty,” he said thickly.
She swallowed. “We were talking.”
“Now we’re done.” He was afraid to think what would come out of his mouth if they kept talking. He didn’t like needing her the way he had today. Needing her body, he was okay with that.
There were better things than talking he could do with his mouth.
He reared up and captured one of those pretty breasts in his mouth and sucked until she arched and moaned.
* * *
EVERY STEP FORWARD with Noah was followed by two back.
No surprise, he spent the next couple of days dodging her.
Friday night, she retreated to her bedroom when Colin and Nell did. The main living space felt too exposed when she was alone out there. The house had entire walls of windows, many of which didn’t even have blinds. At least in the guest bedroom she knew no one could look in.
The room did have a comfortable upholstered chair and reading lamp. Feet drawn up beneath her, she sat with a book on her lap that she hadn’t bothered opening. Instead she thought about Noah.
Oh, why had she said so much? Cait mourned her stupidity. Noah might deny taking her home only because he wanted sex, but she knew that’s essentially what he’d done.
So, okay, he’d said enough to surprise her, but only because she’d pushed. And why not be honest? she thought. The fact that she had pushed was a bad sign. Even he must realize she was really asking for more from him. More intimacy. More trust. A real relationship. The kind of sharing a couple allowed themselves to do. And he had never said a single thing to make her think he was interested in being half of a couple.
If he did, he would never have suggested they keep their affair furtive the way he had.
Face it. He wanted sex. Full stop.
Maybe she was more of an optimist than she’d believed, because an argumentative voice in her pointed out that he hadn’t been all that sneaky, nothing like she’d expected. People were noticing how often he stopped by her office and that he usually closed the door so they were alone together. And that he took her out to lunch and dinner. Everyone at city hall must have seen them leaving together at one time or another.
Instead of reassuring her, that thought filled her with dread. If the gossip reached the city council, she didn’t know what would happen. She could lose her job. Or he could lose his. As her boss, he might be seen as having stepped over a line, made her feel as if she couldn’t refuse him.
He’d never forgive her if he ended up embroiled in a scandal because of her.
God, that’s probably why he was doing the disappearing thing again. Or maybe only because he hated having opened up to her as much as he had.
Or—here was another possibility—because he’d said, You have me. He might be making sure she didn’t read too much into that.
Whatever it was, she wouldn’t beg. Maybe this would be a good time for them to end their relationship, such as it was.
Sex. That’s what it is.
She’d known all along he was the absolute wrong personality for her. Predicting what would happen if they did get serious was all too easy. He’d issue orders and be scathing if she tried to stand up for herself. Noah wouldn’t be able to help squelching her, and she wouldn’t be able to help submitting, and then she would hate him and herself both while he’d end up feeling nothing but contempt for her.