The question screwed him perfectly. I’d only loved one woman my whole life, and he didn’t even know her fucking name, even though I’d mentioned her at least twice this week.
I let him flounder for a moment, and then set my jaw. “Don’t worry, I doubt you’ll see Ruby again.”
I threw open his door so hard on my exit, it banged against the wall, and his precious framed newspaper article rattled on its hook, threatening to fall.
Chapter
FORTY
RUBY
I was a mess. The fire of my rage earlier had consumed so much energy, I didn’t have any left to cry, and certainly not enough to make therapy macarons. I sat alone in my dark kitchen, my palms flat on the table, hoping if I sat still enough, I’d turn to stone and all my feelings would go away.
I couldn’t call Grant. I didn’t want to talk about what had happened. I wasn’t sure what the fuck I’d tell him, since I could barely admit to myself what I’d done.
When the anger took over, the smart, logical woman I was disappeared. It made everything hazy. I’d confronted Kyle in front of his father and boss. I’d slapped him. And I’d done what I always did when I felt overpowered by emotion . . . I lashed out, hoping to strike where it’d do the most damage. It was a great tool in the courtroom, less so anywhere else.
My phone chimed with a text message from Kyle.
I couldn’t dial fast enough. I’d been a little terrified I’d never hear from him again. “Kyle, I’m so sorry.”
There was a cold tone in his vo
ice that made my blood turn to slush. “Crawford probably made it sound like I had, but I would never cheat on you. You should know that.”
Alone in my dark kitchen, my face crumbled. He was absolutely right. I’d fucked this all up so horribly. I whispered it into the phone. “I know. I’m sorry. I lost my fucking mind. He said there was no other reason for you to be there. He was convincing.”
“You did it again, Ruby. You automatically assumed the worst of me.” His accusation was loaded with pain.
What do you know? Tears are possible.
When I closed my eyes, they streamed hotly down my cheeks. “I didn’t believe him at first, but he kept talking, and the idea of losing you . . .” I sniffled, trying to stuff my emotions back inside me. “It’s not an excuse. I fucked up, and I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, you mentioned it.” His voice fell like a rock.
I wasn’t going to say it needed repeating. Things were too serious to crack a joke, and it felt like he was pulling away from me. I put my palm on my chest, trying to stop it from hurting.
“Please,” I gasped. It was the only word I could choke out. Please forgive me. Please don’t let this be the end. Please, please, please . . . “I love you.” I’d do whatever he wanted. I’d beg until my voice was hoarse and there were no more tears left in my body. Anything. “I’m so sorry. Kyle, please. I love you so much.”
“You’ve a funny way of showing it.”
I deserved whatever he wanted to throw at me. “I know.” I swiped my fingers quickly under my eyes, wiping at the tears. “I won’t overreact again. Ever.”
He issued a noise that sounded like exasperation. “Gotta be honest, that’s not a promise I think you’re capable of keeping.”
“Not without your help,” I whispered.
It was deathly silent on the other side of the conversation, and my insides turned to broken glass.
“Please,” I begged. “Let’s not do this over the phone. Come over.” I’d stall him any way possible. I was desperate. “I love you.”
“Look at the evidence you’ve given me to support your claim.” It was icy, probably to mask his pain.
“I love you, and I can prove it.”
“Yeah?” He was pure sarcasm. “How?”
“I’ll keep loving you,” I broke on the inside as I said it, “even if you stop loving me.”