“Take a minute,” he urged. “Don’t go out there like that.”
“Like what?” I hissed.
“Looking like I just broke your heart.”
A cruel, bitter laugh bubbled up from inside. “What difference does it make what they think of me now?”
The door banged against the doorstop when I yanked it open. Jamie’s head popped up over the cubicle wall to spy me heading back to my desk. I leaned over the keyboard and began shutting down my system.
I couldn’t stay here. An emotional meltdown was imminent and I wasn’t interested in trying to cry quietl
y in a bathroom stall for the next thirty minutes. I certainly didn’t want to be here when the announcement was made about Kathleen’s promotion. This was quickly becoming the worst day ever, and I just wanted it over already.
I put my phone in my purse, tossed my soda can in the recycling bin, and cursed the Mac to hurry up.
“Where are you going?” he asked softly, lingering just to the side of my cube.
“I don’t feel well, Logan. I’m going home.” Maybe it was unprofessional, but I didn’t give a rat’s ass just then. After everything that had happened, I did feel sick to my stomach, so it wasn’t a lie.
“You’re not feeling well, how?”
The tension in my body was building to a level I couldn’t manage. The words came out too loud and angry for the surrounding designers to ignore. “Why do you care?”
I knew he could feel the eyes on us as much as I could from his sudden, hurried breath. His eyes set. “I care because I’m in love with you, Evie.”
He’d said it as loudly as I had, straight up declaring it for the whole office to hear. Debbie gasped, but that and a phone ringing somewhere off in HR were the only sounds in the aftermath. Perhaps he’d thought this would make me feel better, but, no. I couldn’t feel anything but crushing disappointment in him and my situation. I put my purse on my shoulder and straightened to leave.
“My name,” I said through clenched teeth, “is Evelyn.”
chapter
TWENTY-FIVE
I went home, curled up on the bed that now seemed so tiny, and unleashed my emotions with my face pressed into the mattress. Afterward, I sat up, filled my lungs with air, and blew it out, feeling empty. I’d started the day happy and in love, only hours away from landing my dream job. Now it was early afternoon and I wasn’t at work. I was here, and alone.
I’d called Payton on the train ride and filled her in on the details, arranged to go to her place for dinner, and then turned my phone off. I didn’t want to talk to him right now.
The joke was on me, though. I changed into a tank-top and yoga pants that absolutely did not flatter my large thighs, and I started to clean. In the few months since we’d gotten together, I’d learned to enjoy the empty countertops and clean floors. I polished the sink, and when that was done, I moved on to wiping down the insides of cabinets. After that, I took a wet rag and started to scrub the corners of the floor where the baseboards looked like they’d never been cleaned.
A sharp knock on my front door snapped reality back on me. Holy shit, what time was it? I knew who it would be, so I didn’t rush to get to my feet or hurry to the door.
“Jesus, would you please turn your phone back on?” Logan’s face was streaked with concern as he came in. “I’ve been so worried about you.”
He was still in his suit, and I glanced at the clock on the microwave. “It’s not even five.”
“Yeah, I left right after the meeting.” The one where he had made the announcement, no doubt.
“It’s Tuesday, what about your cross training?”
He gave me a look like I was being ridiculous. “Fuck that, we need to talk.”
I went back to sitting on the carpet, crossing my legs beneath me and scrubbing the rag over the dingy ivory-colored trim. “Go ahead, boss, talk.”
He went into a whole long apology, but honestly, I didn’t need to hear it. He knew he’d screwed up. I heard him take off his jacket and set it down somewhere, probably folded neatly. At least there were plenty of clean surfaces for him to do so now.
“Say something,” he asked, hushed. “Tell me you’re okay.”
“I’m okay.” My voice was flat, emotionless.