“Everybody deals with stuff in their own time. Coming out isn’t a race, Sawyer.”
“Whoa…” He shook his head defiantly. “I can’t- I mean I’ll never… no one can ever know about this, Jake.”
They have to, I thought to myself. One day, I want to hold this beautiful man proudly on my arm. I want the whole world to know he’s mine.
“It’s too early to think about that right now. You have to accept yourself before you can expect other people to accept you too.”
“I’m serious. You need to know this now. You can’t ever expect to have any kind of… relationship with me.”
“We’ve gotten off track,” I said, dismissing him. “Tonight is about having fun. Let’s not ruin it by getting so serious.” Closing his eyes briefly, Sawyer nodded. Needing to get him back into the mindset he was in during our shower, I draped an arm over his hip, smoothing my hand up and down his broad back through his robe. “I want you to kiss me again.”
Without saying a word, and for the first time without swallowing nervously, he inched his face closer to mine and cupped the back of my neck with his hand. He instigated it this time. His tongue swept over my closed lips, teasing for entry into my mouth. I parted my lips for him, and his tongue delved inside, dancing with mine as he tightened his grip around my neck, urging me closer to him.
Unable to hold back any longer, I started undoing the knot in his robe, teasing it open with deft fingers and pushing the towelling fabric open so it draped behind him on the bed.
“So fucking perfect,” I moaned into his mouth, trailing my fingertips along the hard ridges of muscle cocooning his chest, tracing the outlines of what can only be described as exquisite pieces of artwork decorating his skin. Slowly, I worked my way down to his semi-erect cock, curling my fingers around it and smiling as it hardened instantly at my touch.
“No,” Sawyer interjected, grabbing my hand and pulling it up to his chest. “I…I want to touch you this time.”
Sighing in anticipation, I opened my robe and shuffled out of it, tossing it to the floor behind me. Sawyer did the same before bringing his naked body close to mine, pressing our chests together. Placing his hands on my torso, he closed his eyes and let out a heavy, almost pained sigh.
“What’s wrong?” I asked gently, wrapping my hand around his and encouraging him to smooth it across my chest.
“I, um, well I’ve never… touched a man this way before,” he admitted, his eyes sweeping the mattress in embarrassment.
“You’ve never experimented before?”
“There were a couple of guys in college,” he confessed, shrugging. “But… they touched me – never the other way round. To touch them would’ve felt too…” he trailed off, unable to find the word.
“Gay?”
“Something like that.”
“Are you saying no one has ever been here?” I asked, sneaking my hand between his pressed together thighs, encouraging him to part them before circling his puckered rim with the tip of my finger. He shook his head, refusing eye-contact with me. I grinned devilishly at him, and then buried my face in his neck. “I will be going there, baby. Not yet. Not tonight. But soon.”
Biting his bottom lip, Sawyer’s hand slipped free from mine and started wandering cautiously down my body. He stopped just above my pubic bone and inhaled a deep, somewhat anxious breath.
“Just think about how you like to be touched, Sawyer. There’s no wrong way to do it. Just feel me.” I sucked in a sharp breath when the back of his fingers brushed against the tip of my rigid cock. I’d dreamt about feeling this man’s hands on me too many times to count in my life, yet nothing could’ve prepared me for just how wonderful it felt – how intense, how fucking perfect. “Yes,” I hissed, arching myself further into his hand. “Just like that, baby.”
Starting slowly, he stroked my cock up and down, his eyes boring into mine as if he were assessing my reaction. Gradually his confidence started to grow, evident by the increasing speed of his hand. My breathing quickened and I reached out to touch him. Palming his cheek with my hand, I poured my emotions out through my eyes – my intense gaze showing how much I wanted him, needed him.
“I want to give you what you gave me,” he said uncertainly.
“You don’t have to do that,” I assured him. “This is about relaxing you, Sawyer. Showing you how good things can be.”
“I want to,” he said firmly. “I just don’t know if I’ll be any good.”
“Baby,” I began, rolling over slightly so I could take his face in my hands. I ran my thumbs along his jaw in the direction of his stubble, and locked my eyes onto his. “I have wanted you for so damn long, Sawyer Antony Knight. Believe me, I risk exploding into your mouth the second your tongue touches me. It doesn’t matter how you do it, the fact that it’s you down there will make it the best fucking blowjob of my life.”
Without saying a word, Sawyer shuffled down the bed, positioned himself between my open legs and wasted no time in flicking the swollen head of my cock with his tongue.
Sweet fucking hell…
My hips bucked involuntarily, and I saw a proud smile curl the corners of his lips. I let out a satisfied growl, clenching my teeth together.
“Seriously, baby… I can’t hold out long,” I breathed, fisting his hair between my fingers. “Not with you… your mouth feels too fucking amazing.”
Glancing up at me, he took my whole length into his warm, moist mouth before dragging his lips all the way back up to the top. When he released me, I noticed a glistening bead of pre-cum leak from the tip and without hesitation his tongue darted out to catch it. I caught sight of his eyebrows rise slightly, almost as if he was pleasantly surprised by the taste.