I tried to take my time, to savour the taste of him… but I needed him too badly. Angling my head to one side, I licked and sucked at his mouth like I was trying to devour him. Then, still digging my fingers into his hips, I kissed along the coarse stubble on his jaw, before settling on his neck and giving the sensitive flesh a soft nip with my teeth.
“I’m going to suck you now,” I growled into his neck. “I’m going to be harsh and fast because I need to taste you so badly. But when I’m finished, I’m going to take you into the bedroom and take my time with you. Do you want that, Sawyer? Do you want to feel my mouth on you?”
Sawyer’s stubble grazed against my own as he nodded weakly. He was still unsure, and I planned to change that by the end of the night. Dropping slowly to my knees, I ran my hands down the firmness of his body. Droplets of water clung to the contours of his sharply defined muscles, before losing their grip and rolling gracefully down his body. Taking hold of his cock in my hand, I swiftly licked the droplets of water from the tip before they had a chance to fall. He groaned in response, making me more impatient than ever.
I took him all the way into my mouth, and immediately got the response I’d been craving this afternoon.
“Oh fuck…” he moaned, twisting his hands into my hair. That simple touch, that purposeful contact, spurred me on and I tightened my lips around him, taking him to the back of my throat. The water continued to cascade over our bodies while I sucked him, creating all the moisture I needed to run my fingers between his firm, toned cheeks and apply pressure to the tight ring of muscle. “Jesus, Jake…”
“One day, I’m going to fuck you so hard here, baby,” I said, releasing his cock from my mouth and pushing one finger just barely inside. Again he tensed, but when I took him in my mouth for the last time and wrapped my fingers around the base of his cock, pumping him fast and firm… he instantly relaxed. My own cock was throbbing, begging for similar attention, but I pushed my own needs aside, focusing solely on the man I loved, but who as yet, didn’t love me.
His fingers wound tighter in my hair, encouraging the movement of my head and increasing my speed.
“P-please, Jake…” he begged, his voice breathless. “I’m so close.”
In my head I said ‘I’ve got you, baby’ but outwardly, I sucked harder – swirling my tongue around his moist tip with every withdraw. His balls tightened, drawing up into his body. Knowing how close he was, I bared my teeth, grazing them gently along his shaft as I forced him so deep into my mouth I struggled to breathe past the thickness of him.
“Oh, fuck! Fuck! I’m gonna come, Jake…” And he did. Spurts of creamy warmth shot to the back of my throat and I swallowed it down, sucking the last drops straight out of his cock.
I kept him there until he started to soften, then I rose to my feet, sliding my hands up the sides of his delicious body as I did. Frustration set in when my face levelled with his and I saw he was looking guiltily to the floor.
“No,” I said firmly, grabbing his chin between my thumb and forefinger, forcing him to look at me. “No regrets, Sawyer. No doubts. Not tonight.” I reached out with my spare hand and shut the water off. Then I leaned in closer so my nose brushed his. “You won’t think about anyone else but yourself tonight. Do you hear me, Sawyer? You will only think about how you’re feeling, what you’re feeling… concentrate on the physical pleasure, baby. Leave everything else until tomorrow.”
“This is wrong. You could be fired…”
“Come to bed with me,” I said, placing my finger over his lips and ignoring his concerns. “I want you to touch me. I need to feel you. Will you do that for me, Sawyer?” I spoke into his neck, and then laid feather-light kisses across his jaw.
“Yes,” he breathed. “I’ll try.”
We dried ourselves off with towels, never taking our eyes off each other as we did. I had my own gown, and Sawyer slipped into the complimentary one hanging on the back of the bathroom door. Then I led him to the bedroom, glancing behind me every few steps to make sure he was still following. He was still so nervous when we reached the bed, I’d never known him be so quiet and I looked forward to calming those doubts that were so obviously running riot in his mind.
“Lie on the bed,” I said. He swallowed nervously, he did that a lot lately, and then he did. He lay on the mattress and stretched his body out straight, propping himself up on his elbow and resting his head on his hand. I crawled up next to him, lying on my side so I could stare into those hypnotic caramel eyes of his. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”
“I’m thinking I shouldn’t be here, but also that I don’t want to be anywhere else. I feel nervous, excited, satisfied but ashamed. I’m thinking I don’t know why the pull I feel towards you is so intense, and I’m thinking I don’t have the strength to keep fighting it any longer.”
“I’m glad you feel it too,” I whispered. “The pull. I’ve felt it since we were teenagers, Sawyer, and even though we’ve been apart for so many years, it’s only grown stronger.”
“I don’t want to be like this though.”
“Like what? Gay?”
“Yes,” he said simply, closing his eyes in shame. “All this… I don’t know… confusion, it’s kid stuff, right? Shouldn’t I have been going through all this shit when I was younger? I’m a grown man. I’m too old to be having doubts like this.”