He nodded.
I looked at him, his hair blowing in the breeze, a white burnished gold in the bright midday sun. His eyes rested on me, sure and steady.
I kissed his cheek. “You’re a good person, Kaden. Steadfast and true to your duty.”
“Lia, can I—”
“Go away, Kaden,” I said. “Go away. I need time to think about my own duties.”
I turned and walked back through the meadow, not waiting to see if he listened to me or not, but I heard his horse trot off. I retrieved my knife from the grass and threw it again.
Her dress was blue. The baby was moving.
I have to do something, Lia. I have to do something.
This time I saw more than Walther’s face. More than Greta’s.
I saw Bryn. I saw Regan.
I saw Pauline.
I have to do something.
CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
RAFE
It was twilight when I returned. I hadn’t eaten all day, and my head was pounding. I led my horse to the barn and unsaddled him, feeling the burn of wind and sun on my skin from a long day of riding. I was tired, still trying to sort the timing of every
thing out. How would we pull this off? I raked my fingers through my hair. I hadn’t planned my trip well, but after the late night with Lia, I’d had little sleep.
“We need to talk.”
I looked over my shoulder. I was so preoccupied I hadn’t heard her come in. I heaved my saddle onto the rack and faced her. “Lia—”
“Where did you go?” Her shoulders were stiff, and her tone curt.
I took a hesitant step toward her. “I had some business to take care of. Is that a problem?”
“An out-of-work farmhand with business?”
What was wrong with her? “I told you my lack of work was temporary. Supplies needed to be ordered.” I threw the horse blanket still in my hands over the stall wall and closed the space between us. I looked into her eyes, wanting to kiss every black lash, wondering how this had happened to me. She reached up and pulled my face down to hers, pressed her lips hard against mine, then slid her hands down my neck to my chest, and her fingers dug into my skin. It wasn’t desire I heard in her breaths, but desperation. I pulled back. I stared at her and touched my lip where her rough kiss had nicked my flesh.
“Something’s wrong,” I said.
“I’m leaving, Rafe. Tomorrow.”
I stared at her, not quite understanding what she was saying. “What do you mean, leaving?”
She walked over to a bale of hay in an empty stall and sat, looking up at the rafters. “I have to return home,” she said. “I have an obligation I need to meet.”
Home? Now? My mind raced. “What kind of obligation?”
“The permanent kind. I won’t be back.”
“Ever?”
She stared at me, her expression blank. “Ever,” she finally said. “I haven’t told you everything about my family, Rafe. I’ve been manipulated and lied to my entire life. I’m not going back because I want to, but one fact remains—I’ve caused them and others a lot of pain through my disloyalties. If I don’t go back, I may cause far more. I need to return to live up to my duty.”