The guys and I waited, cleaning. I’d offered to do the dishes after the group dinner with the families while my friends cleared the dining room and handed me stuff. The dads and LJ liked to talk, though, so it’d taken them a while to leave the dining room. They’d cooked barbecue for the whole group this evening, all of us at another one of my parents’ cabins. This one was out of state. It took a drive to get here, but it was quiet.
It’d been nice as fuck actually, and the first time I hadn’t been worried about bullshit. Of course, that worry could never really leave.
My grandfather was still out there.
I needed news today, limited here out in the boonies. Outside of my laptop (which I could only use for school), I had nothing to link me to the outside world. As far as my parents were concerned, that’d been a good thing. I’d fucked up, majorly. I got internet access for school, then my dad effectively cut it off. He and Mom used their own devices and a hotspot for working remotely.
Needless to say, they didn’t give me the password.
I’d take all the hits in the world, a small price to pay. They were here, and they were safe, and I’d play solitaire all damn day for that.
My father’s logic sound, I took my phone back and happily. “Thanks.”
“Don’t make me regret it,” he said, but I noticed he didn’t leave my side. He hitched a hip against the counter. “The guys and I are going to go meet the girls at the shops. We’re going to catch an evening movie if you boys want to join.”
Normally, I might. Especially to get out of the cabin, but I couldn’t right now. I’d literally heard nothing from the outside world since we’d gotten here. I needed news about back home and my friends were going to give me that.
Everyone being out at a movie was the perfect opportunity for us guys to sit down and go over stuff. “Probably will just stick around here.”
“Figured. Your friends being here and all that.” He pushed off the counter. “If you reconsider, you can join us.”
My parents had been doing well since I got here. Especially my mother. She and my dad took the boat out on the lake all the time, and Mom was sailing better than him these days.
She really had been doing much better since she’d gotten here, which was another reason I stayed quiet and didn’t complain about being restricted. I wanted her to feel good, get better. It was these days she was waking me up. She and my dad went for runs in the morning before their remote workdays, and when I did get my ass up, I joined them. It kept me in shape for football, the team ready and waiting for me when I got back. Dad had talked to Coach about my spot and informed me the team would manage until my return. Dad even practiced with me to keep up with my game when he had time, and he hated football.
Being up here had been our family’s own little oasis and so easy to forget the shit back home, shit I’d created. There were true horrors outside these walls, shit that kept me up at night and dreading the day my dad decided to come back to the town of Maywood Heights.
Dad lingered for a second, outlining his mouth. He only did that when he wanted to talk. He lifted a hand. “You know, we never really talked about everything after it all happened. What you did and why regarding your uncle.”
We hadn’t, and I was well aware of that. I was happy for that. Both my parents had been tiptoeing around the issue, and fuck if I’d bring it up. There was already enough bullshit.
There was already enough pain.
“Charlie’s truth needed to come out,” I said, and I didn’t regret what I’d done. I may have regretted the fallout, and the way I’d gone about it, but I didn’t regret it. “I’m sorry, but…”
“I’m not talking about that, Dorian.”
My eyebrow arched, and he folded his hand over his face.
“I’m talking about the fact that my son is in pain,” he said, my heart jolting. “He is, and he won’t talk to me. He won’t talk to his mother. He’d rather do stuff like this, stuff with his friends instead of trusting me or his mother.”
I said nothing, my throat constricting. “I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry,” he stated, my eyes twitching. He nodded. “Because you’re so much like me. So, so much, son.”
But that wasn’t a bad thing. That was a great thing. I admired my father so much. “I didn’t want to hurt you and Mom. Especially if I was wrong about more going on that night. That night with Charlie?”
I’d only had a feeling, and why cause unnecessary pain if I didn’t know? It was the same reason I was keeping shit from them now. For all I knew, this shit with my grandfather… it could be nothing. He could just be trying to scare me.
I hoped he was only trying to scare me.
“And we don’t want you hurting.” Dad’s hand folded on my shoulder. “So just talk to
us next time. Vent to us.” His lips tightened. “That stuff with the video shouldn’t have happened. You should have trusted me and your mother if you believed something more was going on.” He sighed. “You should have trusted me.”
I did trust him, and he was right.
I was so much like him. I was, and because I was, I couldn’t do what he said. I had to protect him too, him and Mom.