I drove home.
I took the long way, scenic until I got so lost in my thoughts I had no idea how I’d gotten there. I sat in the driveway for what felt like forever. Meanwhile, my phone blew up beside me.
I hung an arm over the wheel, staring at the phone on my seat. Texts from both Wells and Thatcher roll
ed in, but I didn’t move an inch.
Thatcher: D, wanna talk?
Wells: Wanna meet?
They were in a group chat at this point, and I’d obviously figured out they’d been talking to each other first. How else would Wells know to ask if I was okay?
I wasn’t.
I was man enough to admit that what I’d done today had affected me. I was goddamn human.
And what I’d done was fucked.
It’d been necessary, though, which was why I’d done it.
I started to pick up my phone, but wasn’t man enough to admit my feelings to my friends. They weren’t going to know.
Me: I’m fine.
I wasn’t fine.
It didn’t matter.
What was done was done, and now that tonight was behind me, I could move on.
I was free.
I could sleep well tonight knowing I’d stepped up and done what I’d needed to do. My father also wouldn’t have to worry any longer about things he shouldn’t have been close to knowing about. I’d admit I’d gotten sloppy in the past, but this time, I’d used cash during my stops upstate.
Not that I could stop and fucking eat anything.
I’d ended up pulling over at a truck stop halfway between here and my destination just to make good use of the toilet. I’d hurled my fucking brains out like a little bitch, nerves.
On my return trip, though, there’d been nothing but stomach bile in my gut. I’d managed to at least keep that down. I’d driven all the way back to Maywood Heights with my stomach clenched, my chest tight.
I just didn’t know why.
I’d stared a monster in the eyes tonight, taken care of shit, so I shouldn’t have felt anything about what I’d just done.
Thatcher: Talk to us, D.
Wells: Should we call your parents? Wolf?
God, fucking no.
Me: I told you I’m fucking fine. Stop worrying.
They didn’t stop.
They continued to blow up my phone for the next few days.
I didn’t go to school.