“What? Why? They hate him, and they don’t even know what scars got him to where he was.”
“Exactly. Edward made a lot of really stupid, really selfish, and really hurtful decisions. Even when he was dying, he asked my father not to say a word. He might have been a fuck-up, but he owned his mistakes. He never wanted his wife or daughters to feel sorry for him or excuse his behavior. He chose to neglect his daughters. He chose to fuck around on his wife all those years. He told me to choose wiser. Edward was a broken man, but he was never the bastard everyone assumed he was. But he went to the grave as a villain because he refused to ever be labeled a victim.”
My mind is reeling, and I’m working damn hard not to pity him. Ethan isn’t the kind of guy to open up, and he probably never will again if I act like I pity him.
“Look, Bella, I don’t have a problem talking about this. I just don’t tell anyone from the group too much because I’m afraid it’d get back to Rain and Tria. Rye is the only one who knows everything. Hell, he and I got close because we both had baggage to deal with.”
“What happened to your sorry excuse for a grandfather?” I ask, feeling more anger than pity at the moment.
A dark grin curves his lips. “He dropped dead a while back after a stroke. They said he suffered for about three days, give or take. Hell, he’d still be rotting in his house unnoticed, but he’d ordered something offline several days before he collapsed, and the delivery man saw him through the window. No one went to his funeral. Most people didn’t even know he’d died.”
Sick and dark as it is, I’m glad he suffered and died alone. No one who abuses a child should have a happy ending.
“I started interning for my father during the summer after that. It was his way of keeping me close, since he felt like he’d failed me. I went to therapy and all that after they decided the numbness wasn’t a physical reaction, rather a mental one. I stopped going when I turned eighteen. I was over what happened, but I couldn’t make the numbness stop.”
He stands and stretches, smirking like he hasn’t just admitted to being a survivor.
“Until you,” he adds, leaning over and kissing my forehead. “Because you’re special.”
I’d smile under normal circumstances, since I know that’s what he’s trying to make me do. I don’t give him a forced smile, because it’d be too fake, and he’d know it.
“I know it’s none of my business, but I think you should tell Rain and Tria about Edward.”
Surprise mars his face. “Why? He’s dead now, and it was his wish to never have anyone know.”
I move up to my knees, slowly inching closer to him as he stands beside the bed. My arms go around his neck as I stare into his eyes.
“Because if I was them, I’d want to understand my father. On some level, they’ve both felt like it was all their fault. It’s a natural reaction to feeling unloved by a parent. If they could understand him better, they could forgive him and possibly move on. It’s not just his secret you’re keeping; it’s also their closure. And it’s just my opinion, but it seems like their father took a toll on them. In the past, Rain lashed out like she wanted to hurt someone more than they could ever hurt her, and that’s by her own confession. But I think it’s still holding Tria back.”
His lips flatten to a thin line as though he’s thinking it over. Instead of speaking about it again, he brushes his lips over mine.
“Eat your disgusting soup. I’ll find us a movie we can both endure,” he says instead.
Considering it’s his decision to make and not mine, I take the hint that the discussion is closed.
Of all the things I expected him to unload on me, this wasn’t it. He could be broken too, but he’s not. He’s just a little lost. At least now I understand why he slaved away in a corporate world for his father when he didn’t really want to.
He’s not the asshole I pegged him to be. At least not once you get past the first few layers.
Chapter 36
ETHAN
My phone rings, and I see my mother’s name flash across the screen of my phone. Damn it.
“Mom, hey, I told Dad I’d be at the dinner,” I tell her, moving toward my fridge and grabbing a bottle of water.
“I know. I know. But then he told me you had someone special. Are you dating someone?” she asks with far too much enthusiasm.
Bella went back to work today, and I’m stuck in the house, ready to sleep for hours on end. We’ve yet to have that awesome makeup sex I’ve heard so much about, but after everything I unloaded on her, I wasn’t exactly in the mood, and I don’t think she was either.
Oddly enough, I didn’t mind just doing the whole movie night with her wrapped around me. Now I feel like shit, but I’m not telling her because she’ll feel guilty. It’s why I lied and told her I have this super immune system… that I don’t really have.
I cough and sneeze, and Mom chirps in my ear.
“Ethan? Are you dating someone? And are you sick?”
Groaning, I ignore the fact I feel like ass as I move toward the couch and drop like a ton of bricks.