“My cock was just displayed on a wall, and it was made to look like I had less than a roll of pennies to work with. You really think I give a damn about someone seeing me in a Bug?”
“Point taken,” I chuckle.
“Just wait until she needs work done on one of her vehicles,” he adds, still spraying his cock. I would think a full can of black paint would have been enough. Now it looks like he has a leaky bush, since the paint has started running in trails.
Weirdest lunch ever.
***
RUBY
“Thanks for picking me up,” I tell Wanda, ignoring her mocking laughter as she drops her keys off by the door.
“Never thought I’d have to bail you out of jail again.”
“Technically you didn’t,” I remind her. “It was all bullshit. But now I can’t find my car. Obviously Rye found my hide-a-key. I knew I shouldn’t have stepped into their war.”
My poor Bug. Where could it possibly be? He wouldn’t strip it and turn into it junk or something, would he?
I’ll tattoo a fucking Bug on his forehead if he does.
“Relax,” Wanda snickers. “I’m sure it’ll turn up. Just let me grab your father’s phone to drop it off to him. That man would forget his head if it wasn’t firmly screwed on.”
The thing about Wanda is that she gets sidetracked quite often. So I’m not surprised that ten minutes later she still isn’t back.
And I’m starving, so I quit waiting by the door and head to the kitchen.
Just as I open the refrigerator door, I smell something incredible and familiar, and my mouth waters as my eyes move over to the stove. A fresh pan of brownies is there, and I almost squeal like a little girl.
I love Wanda’s brownies.
The best thing about my father’s house is that I never have to ask if there are nuts in something. They have a nut-ban on this house. Even though this is a new house—since he moves with the new business like I do—there are still the signs outside the doors.
And yes, I’ve heard a million and one dirty jokes about his nut-ban signs. Perverts everywhere, I tell ya.
So what if I’ve made a few perverted jokes of my own?
I grin as I pop a piece of brownie into my mouth, and I go to town on them, eating them like I’m going to be ripped away from heaven at any moment. Just as I finish half the pan—holy shit, I’ll hate myself for that later—Wanda walks back in, laughing as she talks on her phone.
Ahh… So that’s why she’s been taking forever.
She’s still chuckling when her eyes meet mine, but then her expression falls, and her eyes widen with horror. At the same time, her mouth opens and closes several times like she’s stunned for words.
“Kerry, I’m going to have to call you back. Tell Danita, Tonya, and Lainey to meet us at the restaurant tomorrow instead of tonight. I think my schedule just got really full.”
She slowly puts down her phone, and I try to pretend my cheeks aren’t packed like a chipmunk’s.
“Oh, sweetie. You really shouldn’t have eaten all those,” she says, biting back a grin like she’s on the verge of laughing.
I must look ridiculous. But damn, these are good.
“I know,” I say around a mouthful. “It always goes straight to my ass.”
She laughs this time before shaking her head and coming to take the pan of brownies away. I reach for them, but she manages to keep them away. My scowl seems to be losing its effect, because no one acts scared of it anymore.
Never ever take brownies away from me, dammit.
“No, Little Red. That’s not what I meant,” she says, laughing harder. “These aren’t… Um… These aren’t just brownies. They’re my fun brownies.”
My eyes widen, and I swallow down a painful wad of the brownie I should have chewed better, before spitting the rest out in a hurry. Oh no!
“I ate half the pan!” I yell as I grab a cup of water to rinse my mouth out—like that will somehow stave off the inevitable fucked-up state I’m rushing toward. No. No. No.
“I know,” Wanda says, still laughing like this is funny. “And it’s a strong batch, too. This ought to be damn interesting. I think I’ll tell your daddy to pick up some munchie stuff. Me and you are going to have to stay put, because I can’t exactly leave you alone.”
Oh damn. I can’t even remember the last time I got high. How did I act?
“Wanda!” I hiss. “Why would you just leave them laying around like that?”
She shrugs while picking up a piece of brownie for herself, taking a bite like it’s no big deal.
“I’d just finished making them when you called and asked for a ride to the garage. Then your car was missing; we had to take Brin home; and well, I forgot?”