What the hell was he going to give me? Even in his secrets for the boxes, he can be cryptic.
I dig around, and my hand hits something. Finally, I pick up a small, white, velvet box that is half the size of a ring box. When I open it, I find a beautiful ruby attached to a small, barb-like end. I know what this is, considering my profession.
“I bought it the second I saw it.”
I scream when I hear an unexpected voice, and I jump off the couch, turning to face Corbin while clutching the ruby jewelry in my hand. My free hand comes up to my throat that is sore now, and my chest heaves for air.
He cocks an eyebrow, and his lips twitch ever so slightly, as though he’s amused by the fact he just gave me a heart attack at three in the morning.
“Sorry,” he says, not sounding sorry at all. “I let myself in. Krysta sent a text saying she was about to give you the last box, so…”
I look down at the box that is open, then I look back over at him. He looks wide awake and freshly showered, but it hasn’t been that long ago that Krysta gave me that box. Or has it?
His jeans hang on him perfectly, and his charcoal T-shirt hugs him just enough to hint at what is underneath. His damp hair is long enough now to hang over his forehead, and all I want to do is run my hands through it the way I did when he was passed out drunk in my floor.
But I stay frozen to my spot, continuing to stare like I can’t look away.
“What are you doing here?” I whisper. It’s only a whisper because my voice seems to have abandoned me.
He looks like a fresh dream, and I look like a disastrous nightmare. My hair is bundled up messily atop my head, my pajamas are old and stained by coffee and wine, and I’m pretty sure my legs are not exactly silky smooth right now. Not to mention I’ve been crying on and off again for hours… make that days.
He pockets his hands, but he still looks at ease and confident. I wish I could steal some of that confidence right now.
“I wanted to be here when you went through that one. It was the hardest time for me, because it was when I believed I’d lost every chance with you. Leave it to me to finally get another and completely screw it up.”
My knees lock in place so that I don’t fall. He smells so good, and the fragrance wraps around me, soothing me with all things Corbin.
He sighs long and hard before running a hand through his hair, messing it up in all the right ways.
“When I read yours, I realized how fucking shitty I’ve made you feel. I never knew, Ruby. I knew you were pissed at me, but I never knew…” He lets his words trail off before groaning. “I’m a great listener. I get why you didn’t tell me exactly how much I hurt you. Hell, you had no idea how deep my feelings truly ran. Like I said, I’m a great listener. However, I suck at sharing.”
He motions to the numerous open boxes and the small pieces of paper all over the table.
“Those damn boxes were like my venting grounds. I never realized how dependent I had gotten on them until I gave them up. It was so much easier to get things off my chest then seal them up and stick them in hiding. I never made you realize what I felt, because I’m terrible at show and tell. It’s amazing you even stayed my friend all these years.”
He takes a step closer, now looking vulnerable instead of confident. I’d go to him if I could move.
“Maverick, Rain, Dane… None of them really get me. We’re a group, but I’m always the one listening and never sharing. Maverick’s the one that keeps me sane most of the time, but you’re the one who makes me remember that I even exist. It’s probably not healthy, but I got so used to playing a part, that I only stayed me around you. Even then I held back.”
He laughs humorlessly while scrubbing his face. “Ironic this whole mess started because I didn’t want you to lose yourself, when I’m the one who lost myself a long damn time ago. Didn’t even notice it until you were gone.”
I don’t speak. It puts pressure on him to keep having a one-sided conversation, but I’m on the verge of crying, and I really, really don’t want to do that. It’ll just make him feel worse.
He clears his throat, letting his eyes drop to the ground for a minute before looking back up and meeting my gaze.