“Are you ever going to open them?” Bella asks quietly when she catches me staring at the boxes I haven’t been able to touch since I brought them back three days ago.
Corbin seemed so… lost. Distraught. Crazed, possibly? It was completely unexpected.
You’re all there is. His words have echoed through my thoughts for days.
“Those boxes might have all the answers,” Bella suggests.
“Or they could create more questions. Or they could just be random. I doubt his are ‘dear diary’ entries like mine.”
“Is this all of them?” She pushes one over enough to prop her feet up on my coffee table.
“He said there was one more, but apparently he never found it. He was a mess that day, Bella. He already got drunk and managed to pass out on my floor. Next thing I knew, he was destroying his floor and Maverick was calling me to come help. I realized quickly I was making it worse by being there, so I left before things got uglier.”
Funny how we think so much alike—hiding our boxes under the floor. Only I move so much that I kept my hiding spots temporary.
“Sounds like he cares more than you’re giving him credit for if he’s losing his head.”
How did my life get so complicated?
Oh yeah; I fell in love with a guy who keeps everyone at a safe distance.
“I’m the only one he lets get too close,” I tell her quietly, studying the wine in my hand instead of meeting her gaze. “Maverick is a close second, but it’s not the same. Corbin stays detached. Not even Rain is close to him like she is the others. But because I get the closest, that means I get pushed away the hardest. It’s just how he is. Most of the time, I honestly don’t think he even realizes he does it. He was raised in a home where hugs were administered at arm’s length, and dinner was served with a side of silence. In his home, conversation was an art reserved to create solutions, not to expel problems. He doesn’t know how to be any other way.”
We both sit quietly for a moment, but Bella speaks after a beat.
“Do you think he really loves you?”
I didn’t. Not until I saw him three days ago. “I think he wants to love me, but I don’t think he’ll ever really know how. I need more than someone who wants me close when they need it, and distant when they don’t. That’s not real.”
I eye one of the oldest boxes before groaning and leaning back. Fortunately, the door opens and Krysta walks in before we can continue this conversation.
“Hey,” I say, sitting up straighter. “Where have you been? I tried calling.”
She hesitates, like she’s unsure whether or not she should tell me. Finally, she seems to decide.
“Corbin called. We had dinner and talked.”
Tingles assault my entire body upon hearing his name, and a piece of my strength is chipped away.
“Oh,” is all I can manage to say.
Bella clears her throat, standing as though she’s about to leave.
“I should let you two talk. I’ll see you later, Ruby.”
I manage a nod, and she leaves after giving Krysta a side hug. When the door shuts, Krysta makes her way toward me.
“I’m not used to people hugging me.”
I flinch, because that makes me feel like an ass. I’ve never been much of a hugger—with the exception being Corbin. Krysta probably needs loads of love.
“Well, when the dust settles and the Sterling boys get ahold of you, prepare for a lot of hugging. Maverick is overly affectionate.”
She beams like she’s proud to hear that, and a bubble swells in my chest for her. Her eyes flit to the boxes, and I resist the urge to ask her how Corbin looked.
“Have you read them?”
I shake my head, and she leans over, lifting a latch on one of the boxes to reveal a cluster of poorly folded scraps of paper. Most are one line sentences, from what I can tell. Some secret writer he is.
“Read them and move on. You wanted to sever all ties. These are all that’s holding you back.”
My heart thuds, and I look at her with a sick, twisting knot in my stomach.
“Corbin told you to say that, didn’t he?”
She tightens her lips as she nods regretfully.
“He said you wanted to cut him out, but if you keep holding onto these, you’ll never be able to move forward. Here’s your closure. The only thing to do is read them and move on. Otherwise, you’ll just stay trapped in the past. He just wants you to be happy, Ruby.”
It hurts a lot worse than I thought it would. At least when he was still holding on, it made all the pain I was feeling seem worth it. Now it sounds like he’s ready to let me go, and it’s like taking a dagger to the heart.