My chest tightens to the point of painful. She's embarrassed? What have I done to make her think I'd judge her over a damn home? Maybe this is the barrier that's holding us bac
k. If I can jump this hurdle, then maybe those walls will fall away and she'll start letting me closer.
If that's the only reason she doesn't want me going, then there's absolutely no reason for me to go without her for a whole weekend. I'd prefer not to deal with withdrawals if I don't have to, and I'm pretty sure I'd end up in Utah after not having her for a day.
She stares at me, seeming so exposed and vulnerable as she waits for me to react.
"Raya, I don't care if you lived under the bridge. Friends don't judge friends based on where they come from. I'd like to go. I've gotten used to having you around. Plus, you've heard a thousand embarrassing stories about me tonight. It's only fair we level the playing field."
She lets a small laugh escape, and then she nods. Thank God. Now I don't have to stow away in the trunk.
Chapter Nine
A Bit of Normal
She can't have any fingernails left. I keep hearing her gnawing away nervously, and it's making me tense. In fact, it's making me worry about what she thinks might happen. Is there something she's not telling me?
When her class got cancelled, I decided to skip the only one I had, because I couldn't wait to get here and see her in her element, hoping this would be the weekend things between us change.
She has to come to me. That's the only way this will work. She's a runner, so I have to wait until she's ready.
But if she doesn't stop acting like a tightly wound string that's ready to snap, I'm going to need a massage to work the tension out of me. And her sexy little ass will be the one I make give me a massage. Hmm... That's actually not a bad idea.
"Raya, you're making me nervous. What's going on?" I grumble, not meaning to sound so annoyed. But now that I've thought about her massaging me, I have my fourth most painful erection of this trip.
She turns onto another road, and I lean back to watch her, studying her, and waiting for her to calm the hell down and explain what has her so rattled. She looks at me with nervousness in her eyes, and then she speaks so fast, that I struggle to keep up with the words.
"It doesn't matter how many times we tell her we're friends, my mother is still going to try shoving me down your throat. My stepdad is going to have his beer glued to his hand, and he'll say 'yes, dear' at random times, even if no one has said anything, because he's a zombie most of the time. My stepbrother is going to be cruel, scary, and completely obnoxious, simply because you're a guy who is acquainted with me. His wife is sweet—too sweet. She'll ask you a thousand times if you're okay or if you need anything. That's what has me nervous. This whole weekend is a recipe to humiliate me and drive you crazy."
Fucking adorable. I can't help but burst out laughing, but when she cuts her eyes toward me, I pull my hand up to smother the roar.
"Raya, you seriously have to learn to relax," I say through my more restrained laughter.
She sighs as she glances ahead at something, and I lean back again, resting my hands behind my head. So much better. Now that I know I'm not going to be shot at or something, I can relax. She's just worried about getting embarrassed. I'm looking forward to having new material to tease her with.
I pray her mother has the most humiliating pictures of her there ever was.
I'm not sure if this is a road or a trail we just turned down, but it's definitely not very well kept. Not that it matters.
Gravel crunches under the tires as she parks beside a tired trailer, one that seems to have had much better days. In my life, I've had all the nicest things, and I expected even more than I got. I've never felt more like a spoiled brat than I do right now. It almost makes me want to call and apologize for my embarrassing tantrums in the past.
I make a conscious effort not to react, because Raya will take it wrong. No wonder she's unsure around money. She's had less than I realized. It makes me want to work that much harder to give her nicer things, and I'll make sure her stubborn ass starts taking the shit I want her to have.
My Range Rover looks obnoxious, and I suddenly wish I had rented a different vehicle. I really don't want them hating me the way Raya did in the beginning. I pray they like wine.
"This is it," she murmurs timidly, seeming to dread my reaction. Has she no faith in me? It's obvious I'll have to prove myself.
I'd like to reassure her that there's nothing wrong with it, but it'd sound condescending. Instead, I elect to act as though it's no different than rolling up at our house. She's so terrified I'll look down on her. She doesn't know how wrapped around her finger I am.
"I'll grab the bags. You can head on in," I say, climbing out of the passenger side.
A kid rides by on a bike, his mouth agape when he stares at my Range Rover, and I wave, trying to seem friendly and not at all like the rich prick they'll all most likely think I am.
Raya gets out of the car, still watching me like I'm about to shatter her at any second. All I want to do is pin her down and kiss the hell out of her, prove to her that I don't give a damn where she came from.
I don't look around much, worried she'll misconstrue any expression for something it isn't. She shivers a little. As much as I love her legs, she needs them covered up here. It's too cold.
"You okay?" she asks, her eyes still warily on me.