She crossed her arms as she started staring at Ayla and Jay again. "He thought I was his soul mate. He swore to it. Now look at him with his real soul mate. He doesn't even remember how I felt about him. All of his feelings vanished the day he found that connection. Now it's like we never even meant anything to each other. Some days are better; some days are worse."
"I'm guessing this is probably a worse day," I said through an understanding sigh.
I would never be this strong if I had to endure seeing Tallis with another girl.
"Definitely a worse day." She forced a tight grin while looking away once more. "Every day that I have to see them together is a worse day, but one day I know I'll find my true love, too. I didn't think that in the beginning, but I'm better now. I have hope again, and hope is a good thing."
For several moments, we sat in a comfortable silence, neither of us feeling a need to disturb the peace. It was comfortable because we were kindred in that moment. But that moment was soured quickly.
"Kid, you gotta let Tallis go," she said regretfully, tearing pieces of my heart away. "You can’t do like we did. Let him break the link, and go fall in pretend love with another mortal. You don't need to let Jared get too tied to you either. In the end, it's best if you just stick with mortals while you're mortal. Mixing magic with mortality, well, it gets messy. And it's not fair for anyone involved."
I chewed the inside of my jaw, biting back the tirade I'd love to release. Everyone loved telling me it was a lost cause.
"I can't just let him go. I love him, and against all odds, I believe he is the only one for me. As far as Jared goes, I told him that I only want to be friends. I told him I love Tallis. I have feelings for him, but they're not the same feelings I have for Tallis."
I knew she didn't believe me after what she had gone through with Jay, but I wasn't ready to see myself in her shoes.
"I've heard that before. I've actually said it myself. I was the only bodyguard ever allowed to visit the guardian village. Jay was going crazy around here, and he needed something peaceful to return to. He needed to reboot, so to speak. He wouldn't go without me, though.
"Champ, McKee's dad, was supposed to go, but Jay wouldn't have it. I was the only person he trusted to be with him. We were that connected. Your grandma allowed it because of how severely attached he was. Now I wish she had forced Champ to go. Those three weeks just made it that much harder. We got so incredibly close and it was almost unbearable when he transformed a year before the age I had."
I was going to ask her about that last part, but she continued speaking in her pained tone before I could.
"Just don't waste your time searching for the wrong guy the way I did. There's someone for everyone. Tallis may not be the one, but someone is. And I know you told Jared that you want to be friends, but I also saw the kiss the two of you shared last night. It wasn't just him kissing you. You kissed him back, and that's not the way I kiss a friend. Just saying."
She gave me a pointed look that drove her words through. I knew she was trying to help, but she was wrong. I hadn't backed down yet. I wasn't going to start now.
"That kiss was a mistake. I know that now better than I did last night. It was just nice to have somebody chasing me for a change. I don't want to do anything that would hurt him."
She nodded slowly, but still seemed unconvinced.
"Tallis is the one. One day I'll be able to prove it to everyone, including him," I added quietly, wondering if I was trying to convince myself or her.
"I hope you do, baby girl. I sure hope you do. I'm one to believe in the whole expect the worse and hope for the best concept." She patted me on the leg as she stood up. "I have to get home. I'll see y'all later."
She walked to her car, playfully dodging one of the other bodyguards as they tried to tackle her. She was so quick. I was glad Selesha was a good guy. I had seen her in action.
She had thrown Jay through a wall one day during the practice sparring. I'm sure that strength had been partially fueled by the whole woman scorned thing. She had volunteered to go against Ayla since no one else would, but everybody was worried about that match up, so they all quickly objected.
I didn't like the fact I was starting to feel a lot like Selesha right now. But what if everyone was right? What if one day I was on the sidelines, watching Tallis fall in love with someone else and forgetting I exist?
Chapter 12
Love's Vicious Cycle
Falling in love is much easier than falling out of love.
A few days had passed. I'd been trying to keep my distance from Jared. I was hoping that maybe if he couldn't feel my unnamed and confusing feelings for him, then he wouldn't keep having feelings for me. No such luck, though.
He had to leave today. And I knew he wasn't going to leave without telling me goodbye this time.
I turned the corner and he was standing there, blocking my path. I almost fell into his arms because I was so startled.
"Sorry, I didn't see you there," I muttered.
He smirked. "If you had seen me, you would have probably went the other way."
I frowned, mentally kicking myself for being so frigging obvious. "Don't say that. That's not what I've been trying to do. I just… I didn't want to hurt you anymore."