Apollo focused on unloading his own groceries, making neat rows for the cashier, and making sure the buns wouldn’t get squished.
Buns. Nope. Not going there. The kid hung around after paying for his groceries, mouth moving as if he were debating speaking, but Apollo kept his attention squarely on the cashier.
No more looking. Remember who—what—you are now. When he finally looked up, perfect butt guy was gone, and if Apollo felt a twinge of regret for being a bit on the rude side, he squashed it quickly. Wasn’t like he’d ever see the guy again anyway.
* * *
“No way.” Apollo turned away from the grill to face his best friend who looked sane despite the crazy-making words that had just come out of his mouth. “No way is your little brother staying here for the summer. Last thing I need is another kid around here.” He gestured at the kid toys scattered all about the small patio.
“He’s not exactly a kid anymore.” Not dropping the topic, Dustin lowered himself into the chair closest to the grill. Even off duty in sunglasses and cargo shorts, Dustin carried himself like the SEAL lieutenant he was, and his massive muscular frame made the chair groan. He kicked idly at a ball in front of the chair.
“He’s what—eighteen now? That’s still a kid.”
“Wrong. He’s twenty-three. Just graduated from U of O. With honors.” Dustin’s voice was filled with big brother pride. Like Apollo, he might have more than a decade on Dylan, but that had never stopped Dustin from doting on the youngest of his siblings.
“Twenty-three?” Apollo scrubbed at his jaw. “It seems like just yesterday he was fifteen—”
“And following us around with that puppy crush on you. I remember.” Dustin laughed. “But trust me. He’s over that. I mean I’m pretty sure he wept when you got married, but he hasn’t asked me about you in years. Not like he used to.”
This was hardly reassuring. Apollo remembered all too well the gangly teen with bad skin and crazy hair who had trailed after them the week that he and Dustin had visited Dustin’s hometown of Eugene, Oregon. Nice kid, a little too serious what with his probing questions and all, but he’d also been a surprisingly good listener for fifteen.
“Is it true? Dustin said...you’re...like me?” Dylan looked up from the board game he was setting up, his shy eyes considering Apollo carefully. Man, this kid was something else. Apollo sure wouldn’t have had the balls to ask a near stranger about his sexuality at his age. Hell, he was still figuring himself out back then, not announcing it to the family over pizza like Dylan apparently had.
“You know about ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,’ right?” Apollo straightened the haphazard stacks of cards.
“Yeah. Mom says it’s going to be repealed really soon.”
“Well it’s not yet. So yeah, I’m gay, but I’m also not exactly out. I’m going to trust you not to say anything to Dustin’s other friends, right?”
“Of course. But, man that must suck.” Dylan’s voice held far more empathy than Apollo would have thought possible from a fifteen-year-old. “So Dustin’s the only one who knows?”
“Dustin and a few other close friends, but yeah, mostly I just keep my head down, do my job.”
“What are you going to do when you meet someone?” Dylan sounded way too interested in the answer.
It was something Apollo had thought about a fair amount, but he wasn’t going to admit that. “Hasn’t happened yet.”
Of course, not six months later, it had happened. Wait. Had that really been eight years ago? It didn’t seem possible, but at the same time, it felt like he’d lived a lifetime in the years since that visit. He could still remember the wind whipping around him as they zoomed up 101 on their motorcycles, exploring the California and Oregon coast. God, they’d been so young. As young as that guy in the grocery store. Before Neal. Before the girls. Before...
Apollo shook his head, not willing to get sucked into a spiral of grief and regrets. Lord knew he had enough of that.
“Even if he is more...adult now, that doesn’t mean I need him here.” Apollo turned the gas grill on to preheat before taking a seat in the lounger opposite Dustin. His back gave an unhappy twinge. Damn. He’d forgotten that this chair was too low.
“Sure you do. Your mom is still going to Greece, right?” Dustin tossed the bright pink ball at him.
“Yeah.” Apollo easily caught the ball. “But Neal’s parents are going to help out where they can, and I’ll hire—”
“Your in-laws are what, late sixties now? They’re not up to daily childcare. And I’m offering you a way to not have to interview and vet babysitters.”
“I wasn’t intending on anyone living here.” Apollo threw the ball back. He and the girls and his mother had a routine going. He needed that routine. He did not need someone upsetting all his careful organization. It was bad enough that his mother and two of his aunts were going to be gone two months on the trip of a lifetime. It was hard to begrudge her something that she’d saved and planned years for, but Apollo still hated the coming upheaval.