“Oof.” Pike’s head hit one of the pillows as Zack responded by tugging him into an embrace, ending up with both of them lying down, Zack wrapped around him, face buried in his hair.
“You’re not going to be happy with this forever,” Zack mumbled into Pike’s neck.
“You not being out?” Hell, now Pike was the one who really didn’t want to be having this conversation. Because there was a universe where Pike could picture being happy forever. Unfortunately, it just wasn’t this one they lived in. “Yeah, I need...need us to be real, you know? Eventually.”
“We are real.” Zack pressed a kiss to the back of Pike’s neck. “I’m just not ready.”
“I know.” Pike pulled Zack’s arms tighter around him, snuggling in deeper. “And I’m trying to be patient.”
“You shouldn’t have to.” Misery dripped from Zack’s voice, made Pike hold on to him that much tighter. “You deserve better—”
Pike rolled so they were face-to-face, silencing Zack with a kiss. “Why don’t you let me decide what I deserve?”
“Am I an asshole for not wanting this to end? For wanting you to wait for me?”
“No.” Pike knew that Josiah would have opinions on that topic, on what Pike was putting up with. Josiah knew Pike’s history with Roger and had seemed torn between fear that Pike was somehow going to hurt Zack and worry that Pike was doomed for a Roger-esque repeat.
Pike wasn’t sure how all this would shake out, but ending it now would hurt. Both of them, if he believed Zack that he cared, that this thing between them was real.
He dropped a soft kiss on Zack’s lips, testing, and Zack responded with a grateful hum, whole body going pliant against him.
“Need you,” Zack whispered. “Need us.”
His strong arms held Pike tight, and right then, for that night, that warm embrace and his sweet words were enough. It had to be. Pike couldn’t think about the day when it wouldn’t be enough.
* * *
Something’s not right. Zack’s neck prickled as he turned into the driveway, parking next to the Dumpster. The front door to the house stood open, as did Pike’s car door. Heart beating as if he’d just done fifteen miles on the beach, Zack leaped from the truck.
“Pike?” He called as he entered the house, doing a quick sweep of the living room. Unlike a number of the guys on the team who lived off base, Zack didn’t own a personal firearm, but right then, it didn’t matter—if there was trouble, he’d attack it barehanded. And win.
“Here.” Pike’s voice was thready as he came into the front hall, hefting a cat carrier with him. “I’m leaving though.”
“Leaving?” Oh fuck. Zack had figured this might be coming after the weekend, but not yet. Just a little more time. A little more time to figure this shit out. That’s all I need.
Some of Zack’s utter terror must have shown on his face, because Pike slowed down. “For the vet. The emergency vet. Nectarine still hasn’t eaten that I’ve seen, and she just vomited blood. Fuck. I can’t...” Pike swiped a shaking hand across his face. “I’m not ready... She’s only six... Fuck.”
“It’s going to be okay.” Zack did the only thing that made sense right then and took Pike in a swift, hard embrace, cat carrier and all. “Where’s the vet? I’m coming with you.”
“What? You don’t have to do that. You just put in twelve hours on base.”
“You need me,” Zack said simply. And yeah, he’d had a long day, one complicated by the news that they’d be going wheels up on OCONUS training sometime in the next seventy-two hours, testing their readiness by not knowing the exact time they’d be summoned to base. “And you shouldn’t drive in this state.”
“Okay.” It was a sign of how upset Pike was that he didn’t fight him when Zack took the cat carrier and handled locking up the house as well as Pike’s car. He ushered Pike to his truck, opening the door for him and settling the cat carrier on Pike’s lap.
“It’s going to be all right.” Zack tried to sound like he believed it, but he didn’t promise because he couldn’t guarantee it, which bugged the shit out of him. He needed to make this all right for Pike.
The all-hours emergency vet clinic was located in a strip mall between a Mexican restaurant and a carpet store. A sympathetic young woman with a round face wearing scrubs with tiny dogs on the smock greeted them and showed them to an exam room.
“You’re lucky we’re not too busy tonight,” she said. “The vet should be with you shortly.”
Opening the carrier, Pike took Nectarine out, cuddled her close amid some unhappy squawks.
“I should have figured out she was sick on Sunday night.” Zack paced in front of them. What symptom had he missed? He’d nursed enough creatures back to health as a kid, he should have been able to spot this for Pike.