“Hey.” Ryan’s deep voice pulled Zack up short. This was his best friend, the guy who got him through the rehab for his broken leg, and Zack couldn’t just blow him off. Ryan sat alone on the couch, flipping through games on Pike’s TV streaming system and his expression was blessedly bland, not all uber-concerned like Josiah had been. “Play me a round of Absolute Firepower?”
Zack hesitated by his shoes. “Are you going to make me talk?”
“Nope. Come shoot targets with me.” Ryan patted the sofa next to him, and still on autopilot, Zack went and collapsed next to him. “I figure Josiah and Pike are about to do enough talking for all of us. We can do a few rounds before they get back in here.”
Zack groaned. Fuck. He should have guessed that Ryan had heard everything. “Better not be talking. I warned—”
Ryan raised both eyebrows, giving him a “Really, bro?” look, and Zack clammed up. Fuck. You deserve that look. How big of an asshole was he thinking that he could stop Pike from talking to one of his best friends? Of course, Pike and Josiah were going to need to dissect the cell phone incident of the decade. And Zack really couldn’t blame Pike for that clusterfuck either—that was all on him. He’d willingly gone into Pike’s room last night, joyfully watched the porn with him, and happily slept in and completely forgot about his stupid clothes until the moment he heard the ringing coming from Pike’s room.
“I suck, don’t I?” he said to Ryan at last.
Ryan responded by handing him a controller. “Nope. Although, I gotta say your guy’s taste in porn needs some serious improvement. But the way I figure it, you were curious, and Pike was—”
“That’s not it.” God, it would be so easy to blame this whole mess on Pike, but Zack wasn’t the kind of guy who sold out a buddy for something that was all his doing. And the “your guy” that Ryan had so casually tossed in smacked into Zack’s heart—it didn’t matter what he was or was not comfortable discussing with the outside world. Pike was his guy. “I’m not curious.”
“So it was a onetime thing? Plenty of guys try stuff.” Ryan’s voice was warm and reassuring.
“No.” Zack sighed. “I mean...we’ve kind of got a...thing going.”
Ryan didn’t look one bit surprised. “I see.”
“Please don’t tell me you suspected all along or some crap like that.” Zack scrolled aimlessly through the game’s menu, anything to take his eyes off his friend’s face.
Ryan squeezed his arm, a gesture he’d never done before. “I’m always going to be honest with you. And the last few weeks whenever you mention Pike on the phone or in chat, you just seem so...lit up. Not gonna lie, I expected him to drive you batshit crazy, but then today you kept looking at him like he invented sunshine.”
“But you thought you knew...” Hell. Zack still couldn’t get the words out. His stomach heaved and he had to swallow the bile back down. “About me. Since the beginning?”
Ryan nodded slowly. “I had an idea. But you’ve gotta understand, I’ve got a decade’s worth of life on you. It’s nothing specific that you did. I’m just good at hunches.”
“If you guessed, everyone else will sooner or later.” Fuck, this was totally Zack’s worst fears come to life. True this was one of his best friends, who knew him only too well, but if people were going to start guessing...
“I’m not going to tell.” Ryan’s hand was a warm pressure on his arm. “That has to be all you. But if you’re dating another guy, that’s going to be a big clue for people, and may save you any big speeches.”
“I’m not...” Oh fuck. He really was, wasn’t he? What did you think you were doing all these weeks? “We’ve never been on a date,” he finished lamely, even though last night might kind of count if he’d let it.
Ryan’s laugh filled the room. “So the grand plan is to never leave the house?”
“When you put it that way,” Zack grumbled because that was exactly the plan. “He’s cool with...being on the down-low.”
Ryan’s stare said Zack was nuts, and he was probably not wrong. And Zack knew he wasn’t being fair at all to the guy who was coming to mean everything to him. Pike wouldn’t say no to the occasional meal out or a movie or more shopping together—the little everyday things that sent Zack running because of fear something like this might happen.
“We’ll work it out,” he said to Ryan finally, grateful that Ryan wasn’t one to fill thoughtful silence with mindless chatter.
“I’m sure you will. But while you’re...figuring stuff out, I know plenty of people still on base—gay, lesbian, bi, queer. That’s where I was this morning—anniversary celebration for some friends. When I lived here, a bunch of us would get together for a meal every so often. After DADT got repealed, our friendship circle really grew. And these are guys who really know what it means to be out and in uniform. They can help—”