“Escape.” Zack shook his head thoughtfully. “Just think of all the young guys on that ship, far from home, banding together, afraid but excited. A fresh start—all the color makes the ship look inviting, not scary.”
“Wow.” That was so not what Pike saw, but it certainly gave him a fresh look at the man next to him. Getting Zack to talk more about Danny and his home life was challenging, but from what Pike could see, the bully of an older brother had totally warped Zack’s perception of himself and driven him toward the military as an escape of sorts.
And there it was. The urge to reach over and squeeze Zack’s arm, let him know he understood and that he appreciated the candor. But he couldn’t, could only move to the next piece, a collage of old photographs of young sailors arranged to form the outline of a ship.
“See this one?” Zack gestured toward the center of the piece. “The men are the heart of the ship. Each one has a story.”
I want to know your story. I want to be more than a footnote to this Chapter of your life. I want to write our story together. Fuck. These urges were not what Pike needed. What he needed was to be realistic. But then Zack smiled at him, a thousand megawatts of pure joy, and Pike knew he was lost.
“Thanks for bringing me. These pieces are really cool.”
“You’re welcome.” Pike’s voice was too thick.
“Hey, they have punch over there against the far wall. Want me to grab us both a cup?” Zack gave him another smile.
Oh sure. You just go being the perfect boyfriend. Pike suppressed a sigh. “Sure.”
Professor Hu drifted away from a group of older women to come stand near him. “Impressive, isn’t it?”
“Very,” Pike said politely.
“You’ll have to introduce me to your friend. I forgot to ask you if he has any food allergies? I’ve got an assortment of food—”
“He eats like a horse. No allergies.” Pike’s laugh was maybe a touch too fond, but he couldn’t help it. “I’m sure your food will be great.”
He shifted his weight from foot to foot, trying to get comfortable. He’d picked up a decent bottle of wine as a hostess gift earlier that day because his mother taught him to never go to a party empty-handed. But he lacked his mom’s easy gift for small talk. Around his friends, he was the comedian and the flirt, and he couldn’t be either of those things at work.
“Reynolds, I’m glad I caught you by yourself. Did you hear that Smith is retiring at the end of the year?”
Smith was the fossil who had given him the world’s driest syllabus, but Pike kept his expression neutral. “That’s too bad.”
“Oh, it’s about time.” Professor Hu laughed in an offhand way that Pike was pretty sure he’d never master. “But I’m telling you now because the department will be listing the permanent full-time faculty position next week. I wanted to give you a chance to get your vitae together. As visiting professor, you’re in a great position to go for this position if you want it.”
If you want it. Now, that was the million-dollar question, wasn’t it? Pike was still smarting from not getting the War Elf job. He’d never expected to make a career in academia, especially not at a community college. But he’d also never expected this...thing with Zack. Did he really want to leave San Diego in May? They’d have the house long done by then and who knew what Zack would want to do at that point? Fuck. Pike had always been one to freewheel it without much of a plan for what came next in his life, focusing on one degree, one project at a time while trying to maximize the fun in his life. But now the lack of a clear direction made his teeth grind together and his jaw tense.
“I’ll think about it,” Pike said to Professor Hu.
“Do more than think,” she urged. “Get your hat in the ring. Your research and innovation is exactly what the department needs.”
If that’s the case, why can’t I get through to my students? Of course, he couldn’t tell her that, could only smile and nod.
“Here’s your drink.” Zack walked back over to where Pike and Professor Hu stood.
Pike made the introductions, and Zack gave her a handshake and one of his winning smiles. “What’s your research specialty, Professor?”
“Oh it’s Cynthia, please.” She gave Zack the widest smile Pike had seen from the woman. It didn’t matter what she gave Zack permission to call her, Pike couldn’t think of her as anything other than Professor Hu. “And my research centers around statistical modeling of population growth in developing countries. It’s part of why your friend’s dissertation intrigued me so much.”
“Oh? How so?” Zack sounded genuinely interested in the answer.