Zack grabbed a rag and cleaner for getting the grime off the cabinet frames. He crouched low, starting with the lower cabinets. Assuming he was dismissed, Pike grabbed a stack of rags and container of cleaner and headed for the door to the deck, but Zack’s voice stopped him. “My older brother’s kind of a fuckup. I’ve got a sister too, but she’s way younger, still in middle school. Danny, though, he’s a royal mess.”
“My mom’s brother is too.” Pike kept his voice low and light, trying to commiserate without spooking Zack. He knelt to begin cleaning the large expanse at the end of the cabinets, so that he wasn’t looming over Zack. “My uncle’s been in and out of rehab and has had a bunch of DUIs.”
“Exactly the same as Danny.” Zack blew out a breath. “He just got another DUI last night. Mom texted earlier this morning. But it looks like they were able to get his bail together. I know I should have answered my phone—”
“Hey, you don’t have to justify to me. I get it. You didn’t want to get sucked into the drama.”
“Yeah. That and...” Zack paused, jaw working hard while he seemed to think about what to reveal.
“Yeah?” Pike tried to send nonthreatening vibes. He liked Zack opening up to him, liked learning more about his life.
Finally, Zack took a breath. “Do you ever get tired of being an only? Trying to meet everything your mom wanted in a kid?”
“Huh.” Pike slowed down his scrubbing to think. “I’m not sure my mom really has expectations, to be honest. She wasn’t exactly looking to have a kid when I came along, and she’s always pretty much let me do my own thing. But I guess I do feel some...pressure to be awesome. To make up for her giving up some of her own dreams and whatnot to have a kid she wasn’t counting on. It makes me want to take care of her.”
“Pressure to be awesome.” Zack laughed. “That’s exactly what it feels like living in Danny’s shadow. He’s such a disappointment to my folks that it’s like I’ve got to be extra good to make up for it.”
“That’s why you became a SEAL?” Pike guessed.
“Part of it.” Zack shrugged as he worked on the thin strip of wood dividing the spaces for the drawers. “I was obsessed with military history as a kid. Read all about the frogmen who came before SEALs and thought they sounded pretty badass. I had all these stupid fantasies that if I were a SEAL then Danny wouldn’t pick on me. You know, stupid kid shit.”
A dull ache bloomed behind Pike’s ribs. He did see. Parental pressures plus a bully of an older brother. Zack’s insistence that he wasn’t gay. It all went together, and it all made Pike hurt for Zack. “Doesn’t sound that stupid. And you made your goal come true. Lots of people can’t say the same thing.”
“Danny still gives me hell, which is why I was screening the call. Don’t want to talk to him if I can help it. And my mom gets extra needy when he acts up, all up in my grill about...gir—everything.”
“Are they really conservative?” Pike wasn’t sure that he needed to phrase this as a question and sure enough Zack laughed.
“Oh hell yeah. Our little suburb of Little Rock is about as red as it comes. They’d go nuts if they knew about...you know, Ryan and Josiah and my other friends here.”
“And me,” Pike guessed.
“And you.” Zack groaned. “And not living on base. And not going to church out here. And beer in my fridge and about a hundred other little things. It’s like the more Danny fucks up, the more Mom picks on me, expecting me to be perfect.”
“You don’t have to be.” Pike couldn’t touch Zack with his cleaning-spray-coated hands, so he tried to keep his voice soft and warm, a verbal hug for a guy who seemed in desperate need of one. “You’re pretty awesome, just as you.”
Zack colored the same pink as the backsplash tiles. “Thanks, man.”
“I mean. And if they can’t see that, fuck ‘em.”
“Ha.” Zack glanced over at his phone. Pike bet that he was already formulating what to say to the family who heaped so much on him. It really wasn’t right, a great guy like Zack with so many expectations weighing down on him. And why did Pike suddenly care so deeply? He glopped on more cleaner, trying to outscrub his growing soft spot for the overburdened SEAL.
Chapter Nine
“All right. Until Harper gets medical clearance, Nelson, you and Cobb handle the inventory for tomorrow’s skills exercise. I shouldn’t have to tell you to clean anything that needs it.” Lieutenant Commander Barnes, a tall man who had a good half foot and ten years on Zack, stared him down as he handed out assignments for the rest of the day. As the newest team members, Zack, Cobb and Harper got all the shit jobs.