I knew some people did it there, but that wasn’t my style. “No, I use Denver’s desk.”
“You… use my desk?” Denver echoed.
“Well, that’s where my laptop is.”
“Oh.” His face cleared. “So do you watch stuff online, or maybe read something on your laptop?”
“Well, yeah, I do some reading, but that’s not enough.” They seemed confused, so I went on. “I mean, reading only gets you so far.”
“True,” Austin said after a pause. “Does it make you feel good?”
“Sometimes, sure, but other times it’s frustrating.”
“Maybe we could help.” Austin moved closer, a glint in his eyes.
“Thanks, but… it’s just something that I do by myself.”
“It doesn’t necessarily have to be,” Tonio said.
I never would’ve imagined they’d be interested in this. “I guess I never really thought about that. I mean, when I was younger, I asked my English teacher for help, but she didn’t think it was a good use of my time.”
Denver’s head snapped up, and he exchanged a puzzled look with the others. “Um… just to be clear, what exactly did you ask her for help with?”
“Well, with brainstorming various ideas and scenarios.”
Austin’s mouth dropped open for a moment before he pulled himself together. “Emma, what exactly do you do on your laptop when you dash upstairs?”
That was weird. Hadn’t we spent the last five minutes talking about this? “I’m writing a romance novel.”
There was a long pause and more than one shocked face, which I didn’t quite understand. Finally, Tonio spoke up. “You’re up there writing?”
“Yeah. I mean, it’s not very good, but I started writing romance when I got my first laptop in high school. Then after college I started dating Clint, and he didn’t approve, so I stopped. But now, living with you guys… it’s inspired me to start writing again. I’m about three quarters of the way done with my most recent story.” My face flushed a bit from admitting that fact, but I couldn’t understand why the guys looked so astonished. What was with them?
Austin shook his head in wonder. “So, when we flirt with you and get you all worked up, you run upstairs to write instead of…” He trailed off.
Rather than admit that they got me turned on, even though they obviously knew it, I focused on that last part. “Instead of what?”
No one answered me. In fact, they weren’t even looking at me. Tonio was staring down at the floor, but his chest was rising and falling in strange little patterns. Was he trying not to laugh? “Instead of what?” I demanded, looking straight at him.
He met my eye and his face broke into a big grin. “We thought you were running up there to masturbate.”
“What?” I shrieked, and all four of them burst into laughter. “You actually—you thought that I was—”
They laughed harder and I couldn’t even sort out my feelings. Embarrassment? Shock? Indignation? Probably all of the above.
When he’d recovered enough to speak, Austin said, “To be fair, we weren’t that far off. We were getting you turned on, you just channeled that energy far differently than we thought.”
“I can’t believe you guys.” My face was probably redder than a tomato.
“Why? Masturbation’s not a shameful thing, Emma.” Denver’s tone was suddenly more serious.
“Well… I guess not, but—”
“No, not but,” Austin said, his tone suddenly matching Denver’s. “It’s not a bad thing. Though with your upbringing, and thanks to your asshole ex, we can’t really blame you for thinking so.”
“Agreed,” Tonio said. “In fact, I’m surprised you even had the gumption to write romances. Are they steamy?”
“Well… yeah.”
“Then I’m glad we’ve inspired you to start writing again,” Denver said.
“Though you might want to look into other outlets, too,” Austin said.
“I, um, know how to do that too.” It was hard to maintain my dignity with that admission, but Austin’s cockiness was getting to me. “I know there’s nothing wrong with it, but I didn’t want you to think that every time you showed some skin or flashed a sexy grin at me, it caused me to lose control of myself.”
Tonio chuckled. “Sure, it’s not like that happens to women six nights of the week at the club.”
Austin laughed. “Losing control isn’t the worst thing in the world, Emma.”
“I know. But that kind of thing is personal and private.”
“You share a bed with one of us each night,” Denver said. “That’s pretty personal and private, too.”
It was, but any more on this subject and I’d probably be too embarrassed to ever speak to them again, let alone share a bed with them. “Can we talk about something else?”
“Sure,” Tonio said, and the others nodded. “Have you ever published your writing?”
“No, of course not.”
“Why not?” Denver asked.
“Because I’m not a professional writer.”
“So? Anyone can self-publish these days. My sister has.”
Tonio’s words surprised me. “She has? But you said she was just my age.”