“What did you say to me before my idiot brother came in?”
“That I came here to go to bed with you.”
“That’s what I thought you said. Is this your way of mending fences and keeping my friendship? Some new way of apologizing?”
“No.” Oh, she was making a mess of it. He didn’t look amorous, just curious. “Yes, maybe. I’m not sure. I know, at least, I thought you wanted to. Don’t you?”
“I’m asking what you want.”
“I’m telling you.” Lord, hadn’t she just said it, out loud, in plain words? “I came here, didn’t I? I called Ed, and she’s staying with the kids, and I’m here.” She shut her eyes briefly. “It isn’t easy for me, Devin.”
“I can see that. Cassie, I want you, but what I don’t want is for you to think this is necessary to make things up with me.”
She did what she had done once before. It had worked then. Cupping her hand on his cheek, she leaned up and kissed him.
“Now you’re waiting for me to jump you,” Devin murmured.
“Oh, I’m no good at this.” In disgust, she tossed her purse into a chair. “I never have been.”
“At sex?”
“Of course at sex. What else are we talking about?”
“I wonder,” he said quietly, but she was off and running in a way he’d never seen or heard before.
“I don’t know what you want, or how to give it. If you’d just do whatever you usually do, it would be all right. It’s not that I won’t like it, I will. I’m sure I will. It’s not your fault that I’m clumsy or stiff, or that I don’t have orgasms.”
She broke off in horror, and saw that he was gaping at her.
“Excuse me?”
Someone else had said that, she thought frantically, looking everywhere but at him. Surely someone else had said that. All she could do to cover the overwhelming tide of horrid embarrassment was to rush on.
“What I mean is, I want to go to bed with you. I know it’ll be nice, because it’s nice when you kiss me, so I’m sure the rest will be, too. And if you’d just do something, I wouldn’t be feeling so stupid.”
What the hell was he supposed to do? He knew very well the woman standing there was the mother of two, had been married for a decade. And he’d just realized she was as close to a virgin as anyone he’d ever touched.
It scared the living hell out of him.
He started to tell her that they would take a step back, take it slow. Then he knew that was the wrong way to go. It was painfully obvious that so much of her had been crushed already. What he would know was patience, she would see as rejection.
“I should do what I want with you?”
Enormously relieved, she smiled. “Yes.”
It was an offer that had the juices flowing hot. He knew if he wanted this to work he had to clamp down on needs—and on nerves. “And I’ll tell you what to do, and you’ll do it.”
“Yes.” Oh, it was really so simple. “If you just don’t expect too much, and you—”
“Why don’t we start this way?” He put his hands on her shoulders and lowered his mouth gently to hers. “There’s something I want very much, Cassie.”
“All right.”
“I want you to say you’re not afraid of me, that you know I won’t hurt you.”
“I’m not. I know you won’t.”
“And I want you to promise something.” He skimmed his lips up her jaw, felt her shoulders relax under his hands.