“It should be.”
“And I don’t know if it’s like that. I’m just . . . Why can’t it just be sex? There’s nothing complicated there. I know what to do about that. I don’t know what to do about this.”
“You suit so well.”
Riley gaped at Sasha. “What?”
“You do, so well. Just fit. I’ll admit I’ve worried about it because you’re both combative, and hardheaded.”
“I’m not hardheaded. I’m rational.”
“And feelings aren’t. You helped me resolve mine for Bran, to see my own potential, alone and with him. So I’m telling you, if Doyle’s who you want, go get what you want.”
“I’ve sort of got him.”
“I like sex,” Annika said, and flipped her long braid behind her back.
“We’ve heard.” Riley rolled her eyes. “Literally.”
“It’s joyful, and exciting. But with Sawyer, I learned it’s more. With love it brings more, means more. When I no longer have the legs, we can still mate. I’m glad. But I’m sad to know I won’t be able to walk with him, or make food with him, or lie in bed and sleep together.”
“Oh, Anni.” Sasha moved in to hold her. “It’s so unfair.”
“But we’ll be together. I mean to say that. We’ve found a way to be as much together as we can, and will be happy. If Doyle would make you happy, you should listen to Sasha.”
“How am I supposed to know if he’ll make me happy?”
“Find out,” Sasha said. “You’re too smart—and yes, you are hard-headed—to do otherwise. He needs you.”
“He— What?”
“He may not know it, may not be able to accept it y
et, but he needs you. And when the man meets the boy, when the boy sees the man, the dark echoes, old blood spills fresh.”
“Anni,” Riley ordered, “go get the others. Quick. What do you see, Sasha?”
“Memories and grief, faced anew. Old scabs, old scars torn open. She feeds on the pain, stirs the old to rise and strike. She lies. Hold strong, hold true, pass this test. For the star waits in the dark, in the innocent. Bring back the light to the man, to the boy. See the name, read the name, say the name. And find the bright and white.”
Sasha closed her eyes, held up a hand. “Need a second. That was intense.” When she felt Bran’s arm around her, she leaned into him.
“Do you remember what you said?” Riley prompted.
“Yes, and what I saw. A cave, but it’s not clear. It changed. Maybe it was the light. Your light, at first, so clean, so white,” she said as she reached down for Bran’s hand. “But then the shadows. Not shadows. And she came. Nerezza. But not her. Not exactly. I’m not making any sense.”
“Let’s go inside,” Sawyer suggested. “You can sit down, take a minute.”
“No, actually, the air feels good. It got so cold. A cave, but not underwater. I’m sure of that. It seemed big at first—then small. But big enough for us all to stand. It’s a bad place. A very bad place.” Her fingers whitened on Bran’s. “Terrible things there, old and terrible. Just what she wants and needs. But . . . God, then it’s just the opposite. It’s happy and quiet.”
“Maybe we take out what’s old and terrible, and that changes things.”
Sasha nodded at Riley. “Maybe. I just don’t know. I only know we have to go there.” Now she turned to Doyle. “I’m so sorry. We have to go there. To where you lost your brother.”
“I know it. I spoke to Bran about it.”
“Making plans without the whole class?” Riley snapped.
“To start. I know the cave, and how to find it. It’s less than fifty kilometers from here.”