That thought made my step stutter. There was a very well known reason for a couple to get a motel room in the middle of the night. Is that what we were going to do?
Tremors of fear and excitement shot through me together, but the excitement, the anticipation, quickly outdid the fear. Heat settled low in my abdomen and set my nether region on fire.
Once inside the room, he released my hand and I dropped to my knees—because that was what he’d expect from me, wasn’t it?
“No, Pet. Stand up,” he said, not unkindly.
Apparently, that hadn’t been what he wanted, but then, I was at a complete loss as to what to do. I got up and stood there awkwardly. I wanted to touch him. I wanted him to know I wasn’t going to fight him on this. That I wanted this. But before I could work up the nerve, he spoke.
“I’m going to get food. Don’t leave the room.”
I nodded right away and he didn’t eye me this time. He turned the door handle and strode out. But what was I supposed to do? I thought ahead to what was coming…I’d shower quickly—that’s what I would do.
I hopped in fast, wanting to be out long before he returned. And I scrubbed my body quickly. But when my hands scrubbed over the welts on my back, they flared to life. I sucked in my breath, but kept going, listening for the door.
I was out before he returned, so I dried in a hurry, moving gingerly over my back. It was too late though. Whether it had been my hands, or the water had washed away the cream that had been taking out the sting, I didn’t know, but they hurt now and it irritated me. I didn’t want to be distracted, not by the wounds that man had left on my body.
Trying my best to block it out, I returned to the main room. Since he still hadn’t returned, I sank to my knees to wait for him, but I squeezed my thighs tight like I’d learned to do before to keep my heels from digging into the angry welts.
Moments passed, but I wasn’t concerned. My master…Derek wouldn’t leave me here.
My thighs started to ache, but when I sank down lower onto my heels, I shot right back up. The ache wasn’t nearly as bad as the welts.
He returned then, but he stopped when he saw me. There was a fire in his eyes and it rekindled the fire inside me, but there was something else, too. Frustration? Disappointment? What had I done? Thinking that my awkward position was the only possibility, I sank down onto my heels, biting my lip against the gasp that tried to rush out.
He placed the bag and tray he’d brought back with him on the bed and came to stand in front of me. He brushed my cheek like I’d grown accustomed to him doing, and I nestled against his hand. Still, something wasn’t right.
“Stand up, Pet. You don’t have to kneel anymore.”
Why not? What was going on? I stood though, breathing a brief sigh of relief when my heels were no longer digging into the welts.
“I’ve gotten you enough food to last you until morning,” he said, “And I’m going to leave you with enough money to take the train that leaves here at eleven-o-clock tomorrow morning. When you arrive at your destination, there will be a P.O. box with documents you’ll need. I’ll have them sent there before you arrive. You’ll have a new ID. I’m sorry, but your last name will be different. You won’t be able to use ‘Donovan’ anymore. Once you have the documents, you’ll find a bank account in your new name. There will be more than enough money to get you started.”
He’d lost me at the word ‘leave’. He was leaving? No. I didn’t want him to leave. “What?” was all I could manage to get out as the world began to spin.
“Scar, it’s OK. There will be nobody to hurt your anymore…I won’t be there to hurt you,” he said.
“No, please, M-Master. I’ll be good. Don’t go,” I cried when what he’d said had begun to sink in.
“You don’t really want that. I’ve trained you to think that’s what you want, but it isn’t. Soon, you’ll see that,” he said, brushing away a tear that trickled down my cheek.
He turned away fast, and I realized he wasn’t just leaving. He was leaving now.
“No!” I cried and lunged for him before he’d even taken a step.
My naked body, pressed against his, was having an effect. I could feel it in him. So, I held on tight, pressing my body intimately against his.
“I don’t want you to go. I’m not crazy. And I’m not brainwashed. I can’t explain why or how it happened. And I know I should feel this way, but I do.” I loosened my grip enough to move around until I was standing in front of him. “I want you, Master, in…in all the ways a woman can want a man.”