I shudder. Nope, that will never be me again, I won’t ever get carried away like that again. Now I just need to forget about that and think about this. I need to nail it…
***
“Well, that was a bust,” Rae declares with an eye roll. “Never again, what a nightmare.”
“You think so? I thought that it was alright. The people were quite nice.”
I smile to myself, thinking about all their kind comments. The people running the audition were really kind to me and it gave me a much needed confidence boost. I really think they liked me, much more than anyone else I’ve seen. I can’t help having a tiny bloom of hope that I might actually get this one.
“I don’t know; I think they were unprofessional assholes.” Rae folds her arms across her chest defiantly. “I wouldn’t work for them even if they asked me to now. Their movie sounds totally dumb.”
I gulp down and turn my head away as we cross the road. I don’t want to see this ugly side of Rae; she does get a little like this when things don’t go her way. It’s just a small personality flaw though, nothing to get too worked up about, I know that I’m not perfect myself. I think it might be a bit of bitterness and jealousy.
“Whoever gets that job will be making a big mistake anyway,” she continues, completely ignoring my obvious discomfort at the topic at hand. “It seems like a career ending type of deal.”
Career ending? No, to me this indie movie about a torture love story sounds lovely. The parts of the script that I’ve already seen seem classy and meaningful. More thought provoking than anything I could have hoped for this early in my career. Not that I’m that confident that I’ll get it…
“Hey.” Rae pinches me in the side. “Is that your cell phone ringing?”
I grab it out and look at the number on the screen. It’s one that I don’t recognize. I don’t much like answering these calls, I never used to if I didn’t know the caller, but now I have to, just in case.
“Hello?” I answer cautiously. “Tia Cooke speaking.”
“Tia, it’s Sally, from the audition today,” a warm voice replies. “I would like to offer you…”
Her words strike an odd feeling inside of me. Fear mixed with pride, but that’s only because Rae is here and I’m going to have to explain my success to her after all the comments she’s just made. It’s going to be awkward as all hell. Especially if she starts to get really jealous. Butterflies flap violently in my stomach, I have to turn away while I listen to the rest of what Sally has to tell me. I want to soak all the positivity in first…
***
It takes a while for me to see Rae again. She vanishes for a while because she’s annoyed that I got the role. I try not to take it to heart though, it isn’t personal against me. She just has been having a hard time because she’s been at it for much longer than me and I have gotten lucky. First with the part with Olivia where I was given much more of a role than just an extra, and now with this part. But she does come back into my life.
“I heard your radio interview,” she tells me over drinks. I can see she’s saying this through gritted teeth and it’s clearly not the easiest for her but she’s trying and that’s all I can ask.
“Urgh, did you?” I roll my eyes. “I suck at all of that stuff. I’m not used to it.”
“Oh, I’m sure all you need is some media training and you’ll be fine.”
Not quite a compliment, but I’ll take it. I know that I’m not great at it, this indie movie is getting more attention than I assumed it would. I didn’t realize that it’s based on a true story and it’s creating a storm. A storm that I’m somehow right in the middle of. It’s exciting and scary all at once. Every time it gets hard I just remind myself that it’s a stepping stone. Everything is a jump to bigger and better things.
“So, what have you been up to? I haven’t seen much of you.”
“I assumed that you would be too busy.” Rae’s walls shoot back up, but as I don’t change my facial expression they collapse back down again. “I have been doing the audition rounds, same as before.”
“Anything good? Anything take your fancy?”
She smiles and shakes her head. I think she likes that I put the ball in her court. “Nah, nothing.”
“How about love life? Has anything happened in that area?”
Rae screws up her nose. “Nah, no one taking my fancy as usual.”
“Hmm, me neither.” Not that I’ve been looking, or even thinking about it to be honest. I have been far too busy throwing myself into the role of Maria to even think about another person until now.