Dad sighed and finally relaxed. He sunk into the couch and
smiled weakly. I could tell it took a lot of strength for him to come over and see me.
“I’ll stay out of your way,” he said. “It won’t be easy for me, but I’ll adjust. If Caleb is who you want, then I’ll butt out. I promise.”
“Thank you, Dad,” I said. I laughed lightly, relieved. “Thank you for coming here.”
“It was time,” he said. “I couldn’t let things get any worse between us.”
I smiled again, but as I looked at him, my stomach dropped. For a second, I’d forgotten all about my illness. I was so happy that my father was finally apologizing and accepting my decision that everything else disappeared.
I didn’t want to tell my dad about the cancer while he was angry with me. Now I didn’t have any more excuses. I stared at his face. He was smiling for the first time in weeks. He looked okay again. Happy. And, I was about to destroy that.
“Dad,” I said slowly. “Now that we’re okay, there’s something you should know.”
“What is it?” he asked. The smile slipped off his face. He searched my eyes, and I looked away quickly. I studied my hands and took a deep breath. There was no turning back now.
“I got my headaches checked out,” I said. “You were right, they weren’t normal.”
“What did they say?” he asked, sitting forward on the couch.
“At first, they weren’t sure,” I said. My voice was soft. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to get through this. “Then, after discussing things with an oncologist, they realized what was wrong.”
“Oncologist?” My dad clung onto that word like only a doctor could. I watched fear settle in his eyes.
“I was diagnosed with brain cancer,” I said, articulating each word carefully. “It’s rare. They almost didn’t catch it, but they did. That’s what’s been causing my headaches. That’s why I’ve been so sick.”
My dad sprung off the couch and hurried over to me. He pulled me into his arms and held me against his chest. His reaction was unlike Caleb’s or Cathy’s. He didn’t waste time with words. He just held me, silently rocking me back and forth until we were both crying.
It was a long time before he pulled away from me and when he did, I immediately longed for his arms. Caleb had been more right than he knew, I needed my dad. I refused to let myself admit it or even think it because it hurt too much. Now that he was here, I never wanted him to leave. I didn’t want to go through this without him.
“What are they going to do?” Dad finally asked, wiping tears from his eyes. “What’s the treatment plan.”
“Chemo,” I said. “The doctors want to start with chemo and then, if that doesn’t work, move on to surgery. I have a tumor, but it’s small. They’re hoping chemo will shrink it enough that surgery won’t be necessary.”
“How long did they give you?” he asked.
His voice was tight, and I knew he didn’t really want to hear the answer. He was terrified. Scared in a way only a parent could be.
“They don’t know,” I said honestly. “This cancer is rare. They won’t know what works until it works. And if nothing does, then at least we tried.”
My dad nodded and hugged me again. This time, he didn’t let go until I was ready.
“I love you,” he whispered against my hair. “I love you more than you’ll ever know.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN - CALEB
Two hours after I called Tara, she finally knocked on my door. I wrenched it open and pulled her inside.
“That was a long shower,” I said.
“My dad showed up,” she said without hesitation.
“What?” My eyes flew open in surprise as she led the way to my couch.
We sat down, and I noticed the redness in her eyes. She’d been crying. Her hair was damp from her shower, and there were bags under her eyes. She looked exhausted. I immediately wanted to demand she lay down but I knew she’d never listen.
“He showed up unexpectedly,” she said, eager to tell me everything.