He shrugged. “Maybe it's better if Killian raises him,” he said. “I'm not exactly father material, in case you hadn't noticed.”
“Really? You honestly think your mob boss brother would do a better job raising your son than you would, Declan?” I asked. “If there's one thing I know thanks to this screwed up situation, it's that you have a strong moral compass. Your brother doesn't. Your son would have a better shot of being a good man if he were raised by you.”
Even in the darkness, I could tell Declan cringed at the very thought of raising a child. But, what I said was true. Yeah, he might be holding me captive, but it's not like it was his choice. Not to mention the fact that I believed him when he said he was protecting me and would never do anything to hurt me.
“You want your son to turn out like him?” I asked. “Like Rory?”
“No, of course not,” he spat. “It's just – what kind of a life can I offer the kid? Not like I'm doing much better than they are. I spend my nights in the ring pummeling people for money. That's not exactly the most stable or financially responsible way to live. At least with them, Jack would have a family. I know Killian's wife would do a good job raising him. She's a good woman.”
He sighed and ran a hand over his face, his hand making a dry, scratchy sound against his beard. His eyes were full of emotion and yet, looked entirely haunted. He was clearly worried about his son’s future. It was as if, for the first time, the full weight of his life choices was bearing down on him and he was worried about the fallout it would have on his child.
“But, you're right,” he said softly, his voice barely more than a whisper. “What kind of person would I be if I let him turn out like my brothers?”
“Exactly,” I said. “I guarantee that no matter what, you'll raise that kid ten times better than Killian ever could. He would learn right from wrong with you.”
“You don't even know me.”
“I already know you're a million times less deranged than your brother,” I said, a wry laugh bubbling up within me. “I mean, for a kidnapper, you're not half bad.”
I chuckled again, and then actually laughed as I thought about the absurdity of my statement. Declan joined in with a small chuckle of his own. The smile on his face seemed to light up the room. It transformed his face, making him look younger and even more handsome – something I didn't think possible. He took another swig of his beer before putting it on the table and leaning back, finally seeming to relax a bit. The atmosphere in the room around us lightened, some of the grimness and tension dissipating.
“The only reason I agreed to do this was because I knew if I didn't, he'd put Rory on the job, and there is no way in hell I would trust that guy alone with a woman. He might be my brother, but he's not a good man,” he said, sounding genuinely sad as the words passed his lips. “If there's one thing our mother taught us, it was to never disrespect a woman. She taught us that you don't hurt them, no matter what. I thought Killian still believed that, seeing him with his wife and daughter, but I dunno anymore. Rory, on the other hand? Nah, he's so far gone, there's no saving him. He seems to enjoy hurting people. Like he gets off on it or something.”
“I'm sorry,” was all I could think to say, while also counting my blessings that I had ended up with Declan instead of his brother.
Not having any siblings of my own, I had no idea what it must be like to see that they'd grown into monsters. I had to imagine it felt terrible, like some piece of your soul was withering and dying.
He shrugged. “Not much I can do about it now. I can't save them,” he said, turning his eyes toward me. “But I can save you, and I can save my son. And that's what I'm going to do.”
I didn't know why, but I trusted him. The earnestness I saw in his eyes and heard in his voice made me believe him. Physically, he looked intimidating and dangerous’ like the sort of guy you'd see walking down the street toward you and you’d cross to the other side. But, the more he spoke, the more I found that I actually liked the guy. The more I started to think he actually was a good man.
I wanted to believe he'd find a way out of this for me – one that didn't end up with me buried in a shallow grave somewhere behind this house. Maybe it was crazy – hell, it probably was – but, if anyone could do it, I thought it would be Declan. “You probably should get some sleep,” he said. “They'll be here pretty early.”
“Who will?” I asked, a sudden chill running down my spine.
“Killian and the gang,” he said. “They'll drop off supplies, probably reach out to your dad's friends, send them some pics of you looking all pitiful and shit to make it known they're serious. Just make it easy on yourself and play along.”
“For someone who doesn't do this sort of thing, you sure know a lot about how they operate.”
He grimaced. “I grew up around it,” he admitted. “Until my dad died, I had no choice but to help out. I hated every fucking second of it too. The things they did... ”
His voice trailed off and that dark, haunted look crossed his face again. It was obviously a sore spot with him. But then, given how traumatic it must have been, I supposed it probably would be.
“Oh,” was all I could think to say.
The room was silent again and that tinge of tension returned. I picked up the beer bottle and decided maybe this was my cue to leave. I stood up and walked past Declan, my legs brushing his knee. I don't know why, but I stopped. I stood there, staring down at him on the loveseat.
He gazed up at me, and there was a look I knew all too well from all the time I spent working at the bar. He was trying not to make it obvious, but he was checking me out. His eyes moved down to my cleavage, then back up to meet my eyes.
“Everything okay?” he asked me.
“Yeah,” I struggled to say. “Figured I'd take your advice and go to bed.”
“Good idea,” he said.
I didn't move though. I felt rooted to the floor in front of him. His blue eyes bore through me, and I was suddenly – and surprisingly – filled with desire. The f
ires of lust ignited inside of me and try as I might to tamp them down, I couldn't. The way he looked at me caused a warmth to move through my body, making me tremble. My panties were getting moist just from looking at him, and I couldn't bring myself to move.