“I’m sorry.” It’s all I can think to say.
“It’s okay, I have someone clearing out all the personal items. They’ll box them up, and for now, they’ll go into storage and when it doesn’t feel like tangling with barbed wire I’ll go through them.” He pulls back the covers and his eyes darken at the negligee I had worn for him.
It’s red but sheer and was held together by three very strategic bows that had to be undone for it to be opened.
“Now this is gift, I am going to enjoy opening. Thank you, baby.” We make love slow and he’s so gentle I want to cry from the sweetness of it.
Chapter Twenty
Two months later and Taylor is in a cheerful mood. We have added two trainers and are exactly where we need to be. We’ve also been able to continue to recruit to the field in the numbers we need. One of our people in the field had contacted Taylor yesterday about coming in from the field and maybe stepping into training or in house. Taylor is ready to ask Sam to become a partner and I agree with Taylor that Sam would be more likely to accept now. Sam and I are working so well there’s the tiniest piece of me that is scared that something will happen to ruin our happiness. I’ve never been so happy before, I’m still waiting for something to blow it apart.
Taylor calls me into his office and I go and he’s waiving a piece of paper. “It came in yesterday. It’s all yours, I just need to sign this with a notary and you are the owner of a home all your own.”
Instead of the euphoria I had thought I would feel at this moment, it’s the other foot dropping. This is the something that could tear us apart.
“What’s the matter? You like I just told you that you have cancer instead of a home. Shit, I forgot Sam.”
I nod and my lips come together, I don’t know what to say or do. I had honestly forgotten until today.
“What do you want to do?”
“I want to talk to Sam first. Just hold onto it and I’ll let you know tomorrow.”
“What ever you want to do, we’ll do.”
The rest of the day flies by and when I get home I don’t remember the drive at all. With Sam’s drive, even though we’re now on the same schedule it takes him longer to get home. I change into a long white peasant skirt and a loose off the shoulder white stretchy top. I go into my studio and look around. It was all but bare now. Between the gallery and the website almost as soon as I painted something it’s gone. There are only three remaining now. I love this room. I can’t imagine painting anywhere else, even in the heat of the summer. Running my hand over my work table I remember that Sam had followed through on his desire from that first time he’d been in here. He had bent me over the work table so many times I could no longer count them. He won’t allow Taylor to just give me the house, would he leave, would he want to move and would he want to take me with him?
I hear his truck and go into the bedroom. I’m sitting on the middle of the bed, my legs crossed as I wonder how the next few minutes will go. He finds me and leans against the frame of the door and watches me.
“What’s wrong?” He asks without moving from the door.
Sitting up straighter I look him in the eye. “When Taylor asked me to go see you he said it was a favor at first. When I was quiet too long because I was surprised he went from it being a favor, to it being a deal. If I got you to Austin and to talk to him, whether you took the job or not when I paid off the mortgage with my rent, with this month’s rent, he would give me this house free and clear.”
Sam’s tense and his eyes darken but he doesn’t move and his eyes don’t leave mine. “This house now belongs to you?”
“No, I told him I would need to talk to you first. If you say yes then okay but if you say no then he’ll keep the house.”
“You’ve never had a place to call all your own, a home that was just yours and Taylor is willing to give that to you and you’re willing to turn that down when I say no because you know I can’t deal with that?”
The tears are a surprise and I look down, what he said about saying no isn’t a surprise so why am I crying?
“Why?” He moves and is at the edge of the bed. “Why are you willing to accept me saying no?”
“Because if say no and I accept then you’ll leave and it won’t matter it’s mine, it won’t be home anymore.”
Moving over me his voice is husky, “Why?”
“Because I love you damn it.”
His smile is wide and his happiness is as clear and bright as an Austin day in July and just as
hot. “Well, it’s about damn time.”
He wipes the tears away and I can only stare back in shock. “Sam?”
“Zoe, I loved you from the beginning. Lust from the minute I laid eyes on you but then you told me you wanted me but you weren’t going to hurt me. You were trying to protect me from you. I’ve never met someone so selfless like that before. But when you told me that, I knew it was coming from someone who had known pain so deeply they didn’t want to hurt anyone the way they had been hurt. I knew I’d have to take it slow and allow you time to get used not just to love, but how it felt on both sides.”
“Then why did you say only six months?”