Chapter One
I hate him, I hate him. I’m careful to keep my face in a pleasant half smile, but inside I’m boiling. He’s doing it again, so damned effortlessly taking a point I made and expanding on it until Alex Hutchison is getting the verbal backslaps from Tim and Edward. For the hundredth time just this week, I’m picturing all the ways I would love to torture him, when I realize Tim has asked me a question and I’ve missed it. Face hot from embarrassment, I apologize and ask him to repeat it but he waves it off with a chuckle and stands, indicating an end to the presentation I’ve given. Edward winks and tells me good job and Tim nods his endorsement. Yet, as I stand, it’s Alex they’re walking with out the door, and I’m left alone shutting down my laptop.
“It was really a very good presentation, Grace. Edward made sure I took down several things I’m sure they’ll look into.” Mabel reassures me as she stands. Mabel is one of the few people who’s been with the company longer than I have. She’s a nice woman and I feel absolutely pathetic as her kind words soothe the frustration I’m feeling.
“He just, he just, he’s always there, ending it better than I do, and I just hate him so much.”
Mabel smiles. “I’ve noticed,” as I still in horror, wondering just how badly I’ve hidden it, and what it would look like to Tim and Edward, Mabel shakes her head. “I’ve noticed, but I’ve known you longer and I pay attention, it’s what I’m paid for. To everyone else it’s just minor resentment and competition, I’m sure, which isn’t a bad thing. He isn’t such a bad guy, he’s actually very nice if you’d let yourself get to know him.”
“I don’t want to get to know him. I want the promotion, that’s what I want.” I don’t say what Mabel already knows. I’m not one for getting to know anyone at work. On so many levels, in so many ways, I just don’t connect with the people I work with. Mainly because I work and my coworkers like to gossip and plan the next happy hour and take selfies. None of those things interest me, I come in and work hard. I’ve had to, to get where I am. It’s something I take pride in, I started with the company when it was only three years old right out of high school. Tim and Edward had started the company in desperation when they were let go in their mid to late forties and couldn’t get a job in their field in the extremely competitive city of Chicago. They’d been willing to take on nearly anybody, even me, with skills so few I had to work my way out of the mailroom just to be a receptionist.
It hadn’t been easy, but it had been clear I was willing to do anything and was eager to learn. As the company slowly expanded, I’d filled in everywhere as needed, even doing payroll for a few months when someone had quit. For the first few years, there had been a rough period of more business coming in than those to do it. Just a few more checks cashed and they could add more people, Tim and Edward had promised. They wouldn’t forget the hard work, they told us, and they hadn’t. Tim and Edward had come to me and made me an offer, I could accept a raise and continue as an administrative assistant, or the company would pay to help me get a degree in marketing and move up.
I’d taken the degree, while ignoring my husband’s anger over the lost money. He’d also resented the time it took me away from focusing on him and being a good wife. I tried to tell him in the long run it would be better for us. He hadn’t listened, and although our marriage hadn’t been wonderful to start with, it had gradually gotten worse. When we divorced, he’d blamed my job; I knew better though.
Our marriage had been a mistake from the beginning. It just took several years for us to figure it out. There was no specific moment when I knew, it was a gradual realization. I had begun to put in longer hours, and given more to work, knowing it was the escape I would need when we came to the end. Larry had pretended otherwise until the last day, but in many ways he also had spent time away from our home and marriage, he simply didn’t say it out loud, failure hadn’t been an option for him.
So, between school and work I had to work hard, and hadn’t been one for socializing. I’d finally gotten my degree four years ago, at twenty five, the same year my marriage ended, oddly enough. Everything felt worth it when Tim promoted me. The other women around me had been newer, most coming on just within the last five years, and they resented me for moving up. The men usually ignored me or did their best to talk me into bed. I wasn’t interested, ever, after the way my marriage ended, sex wasn’t something I cared for.
No, I don’t want to get to know Alex. I want to push him under the El train. Okay, I sigh as I take refuge in my office, maybe not that bad. At least down the stairs to the El though, a few broken bones would be nice. Alex out of the office and not there all the time, smiling and charming, and making everyone in the office love him. It was grating that even Florence, the most cranky secretary in the company, smiled when Alex spoke to her.
I do my best not to slam the door to my office, and settle into my chair. Bringing up the plotting I’ve done for the next campaign, I’m searching for anything I could have missed. This is it, both Alex and I have one more campaign we would be in competition for. After that, Tim and Edward would make their selection to fill Stephen Price’s position as VP. Stephen’s wife is battling cancer and, he’s barely in the office. Tim and Edward were keeping him on so Stephen could maintain his insurance, but once his successor was picked, he’d step down into a lower position so he could focus on his wife.
The presentation has to be perfect. I have to get this promotion because I deserve it. I had worked so hard for this company, it was my initiative to take us into computer data mining years ahead of other marketing firms, and shown how valuable it could be not just to us but to our clients. Tim had said it often, the changes had been costly, but had paid off and had taken us into places and gained us clients we wouldn’t have been able to get without my suggestions. I need this promotion. I need it to prove it’s all been worth it. That I don’t have a life outside of work that
I have no best friend other than the books I escape into, it would all be worth it when I got the promotion.
Yawning, I stretch and look at the clock. It’s only a little after eight. Normally I’m here until nine, but I hadn’t slept well last night because I was nervous about the presentation. The knock is quick and barely a grazing of the wood and then the door opens. Alex fills the doorway; he’s long and lean at six foot three, and the annoying thought that always hits me when I first see him burrows into my brain, it isn’t fair he’s so damned gorgeous. It's odd, I know he’s thirty-five but sometimes he seems older, the lines deeper, and other times, like now, he seems younger, the lines all but gone. The lines don’t matter though because with or without them he’s gorgeous. It really isn’t fair, light blond hair fit his piercing blue eyes that seemed to see everything, and the face of a fucking angel. A strong chin, straight thin nose, with cheek bones sharp and defined, fit over a mouth thick and full. The thought of those lips on mine had floated into my brain just once, and I’d shuddered with longing at the thought. I hate him, I tell myself as he steps into my office.
I really hated him in my office, in the fourteen months since he started he hadn’t come in often and I liked it that way. I hated him in my space, I hated when he looked down on me. I don’t hide my annoyance and look down at my watch, “What do you want? I was about to go home.”
His smile is sin, “You aren’t ready, just yet, to know what I want.” His eyes are knowing, and I fight to breath. “Your blazer is off and two whole buttons undone. I believe between that and your prim little skirt, careful not to be two inches above your knee even seated, this is the most I’ve skin I’ve ever seen of you before.”
My hands clench and dear lord I’m wet between my legs at his taunting words. I’ve never felt this way before, and I don’t like it, I hate it, I need to get away from him. I see nothing, as with a few clicks I shut down my computer. He can’t want me, a yo-yoing size fourteen to sixteen like me would never even be on his radar, and it feels cruel. Forcing ice into my words, I shrug. “I’m leaving, whatever you want will have to wait for tomorrow.”
He closes the door with a click that sounds loud in the room, and I’m reminded that everyone has gone home. “Have dinner with me.”
It’s a command, clear as a bell and my stomach flips. No way, no fucking way, and then I see the look in his eyes and holy shit he does want me. Me, Grace Moore, fat, pale, and ignored for so long. No, I don’t want this, I don’t want to feel this way, it’s too scary. I need to get out now, while I can. I shake my head, and even though he’s between the door and me, I try to go around him. Although I pride myself on being smart, I was clearly very stupid to think that would be all. That he would let me out of the door when his eyes are stripping me where I stand.
“Have dinner with me, Grace. I’m hungry, starving, aren’t you?” It’s not food he’s talking about. It very clearly is not food. I can barely believe it when I go wet with longing for him, my body has never betrayed me like this before. He moves in front of the door and somehow I’m against the wall behind the door. I sway, afraid to move. Hell, my legs are barely holding me up. Closing his eyes, his face clenches, “Oh Grace, baby, I can smell you. How hot and wet you are for me.”
I’m mortified, and shake my head, “No, move, Alex. I have to go, please stop this.”
Shaking his head, he moves. Stepping closer and then he goes down on his knees. His hands are on my hips, burning me through my skirt. He brings his face closer to my melting core, his nose is right in line with me, and he inhales. The look on his face is as much of a turn on as his words and touch, and I tremble. His hands slide down and roam over my ass, learning the weight and feel, and then they continue on to the bottom of my skirt. My legs are bare, no pantyhose or stockings to protect me from his touch. Slowly, his hands move up and he pushes the material over my hips and I hear myself saying no, but my hands are slipping into his hair.
Alex finds it then, the red, sexy, silky thong I’m wearing today. It matches the silk bra I’m wearing. They are the one thing I allow myself, I might cover almost all skin but my underwear and lingerie are silk and sexy. The first time I had found them in my size and felt them against my skin there was no going back to regular cotton panties for me.
“I knew it, I fucking knew it. I knew you were hiding it from me, the sexy woman you try so hard to stamp out.” He grasps the uncovered cheeks of my ass and squeezes and then he’s gentle and his touch is light. I see him moving, but my brain isn’t functioning enough to stop him. His nose presses into the wet silk of the thong and then he licks me through the thong. My knees start to give way. The wall and his hands are the only things holding me up. Fingers, long and nimble, find the top of the thong and he pulls it down his hands grazing along my skin.
I’m embarrassed as he looks at me without the covering of the thong. I know the fashion is to be bare there. I’m not. Except for a little shaving to keep hair outside and a bit of trimming to keep it from being thick, I didn’t really care. Considering even during my marriage I didn’t like, and was rarely interested in sex, I had no desire to maintain that part of myself. I had happily assumed all of that was behind me. My chest is tight, he’s still just looking at me and I close my eyes. How in the world could someone like him want someone like me, and maybe now is the moment when he’ll come to his senses?
“You are so fucking sexy you make my dick so hard it feels like steel.” His fingers stroke my mound with long soft strokes working down to the seam of me, and then he opens me and his tongue sweeps inside. I moan and he pulls a leg over his shoulder and I’m dying. I believe I am dying because I have never known anything in the whole world could feel this good. At first his tongue is soft and lazy, learning me and then he works down and begins sucking where the moisture has pooled as if he really is hungry and I’m his last meal. Alex isn’t lazy anymore, he’s voracious and his tongue is everywhere, delving into my tight channel, sucking my inner lips into his mouth and then toying with them. Yet, he’s not where I want him to be, where I need him to be. I’m begging now, begging him for release, and then he stops. Pulling back until our eyes meet, “Have dinner with me.”
“Yes, okay, yes.” I’m shaking.
“Say my name. Who are you shaking and trembling for? Say it.”
“Alex.” I whisper.
“Who is making you come right now?”
“Alex.” My hand slips from his hair and brushes over his cheek, he closes his eyes and savors the touch. Somewhere deep inside my chest is twisting.
“When I make you come, this pussy is mine. Do you understand? Who does this pussy belong to?”
My fingers trace his wet lips and I wonder if he knows, if he understands just how true his words. He sucks my finger into his mouth and my pussy clenches and I nod, “Alex, you.”