“I know, sweetheart. I know what you need.”
He kisses slowly down my body, nipping at me in turns as he sucks gently. By the time he’s where I need him most, every bone in my body has melted for him. Skimming the panties down, he kisses up my inner thighs and I’m coming off the bed, begging for him there. Then his tongue strokes me and shock and fire explode in equal, quaking measures. My hands slip into his hair, trying to pull him up and away but he ignores them. Thick, fingers skim over me, then opens me for his mouth, and his tongue sweeps inside. Hot, fire burns where his tongue touches. Long sweeps of his tongue find the moisture of my body weeping for him. Moaning my name, the vibration and hot air against me has my thighs tightening for more. He’s teasing, now, driving me out of my mind. I’m on the edge and then his fingers are there again, finding their way deep inside. I jerk from the discomfort when they meet the protective covering, I hadn’t thought would still be there after so long.
Instantly, he goes still. Slowly, he’s moves up on his knees between my legs and his eyes are on mine, not letting me hide. “Ria, you’re a virgin.”
It’s not a question, I nod anyway. I’m fearful now, he’s lost all color and his voice is rusty and halting, as if he could barely get the words out.
/> His hand goes into his hair and his eyes travel down my body, only it’s as if he isn’t really seeing me. When his hands come down they wrap the robe together and tie it. His hands are trembling again except it isn’t with need, it’s with shock. He backs away slowly and gets off the bed. He’s gone, without a word. Seconds later I hear the front door close and I don’t know what to do, so I cry.
Chapter Four
By the time Justin is home from school, I don’t look like death anymore, barely. His excitement over the field trip helps me from having to add too much to his excited observations. We’ve been to the Field dozens of times, to the Planetarium even more times. Keeping him busy on the weekends was a full time job but I loved taking him out and hearing him talk.
He’s a good kid and begins to do the dishes without me asking him. Today was the kind of day he won’t have many of for much longer. MIT had been as disappointed at his failure of the testing as he had been, but had been positive for next year’s testing. They had promised him a spot, but paid, a free ride would only come with passing of the testing. My salary wouldn’t extend to paying, I had made it clear. They had come back with, next year then. MIT loved collecting little geniuses and showing them off, it was the reason they were willing to pay for the free ride.
“Okay, you were crying yesterday morning and today you’re so quiet it’s freaking me out. What’s the matter?”
Fuck, he’s a genius and I really thought I was going to be able to keep something from him? I don’t care, I’m not talking about my almost sex life with my little brother. “I’ve been thinking. Why don’t I try to get a job with a different hotel than this chain in Boston? We could move during the summer and be ready to go with the testing next year.”
His whole face lights up, then his forehead pulls into a frown. “Wait a minute, I know you were happy I didn’t get into MIT. Why are you willing to move for it next year?”
Double fuck, I sputter, “How did you know I was happy?”
“Come on, Ria, I know you. You were happy. Why are you now willing to let me go into MIT?”
“Because I realized how selfish I was being. I want you to have a normal happy childhood and teenage years, but that’s not what you want. You’ve been miserable and I’m a bad sister for keeping you from what you want.”
“I love you, Ria.” He hugs me tight and I hug him back.
Getting ready for work, I’m slow and lethargic, I hadn’t gotten much sleep and it’s going to be a long night. Justin is buried in a book when I say goodbye. Kissing him goodbye, I know Boston will be a good start over for both of us.
It isn’t surprising, it just strengthens my resolve when there is nothing from Drake all night. I fight the urge around three in the morning while Latisha is away from the desk, to see if he’s in his room and barely manage not to do it. Latisha doesn’t ask, only pats me on the back from time to time and my watery smile of thanks leaves me feeling like a wreck. Even though there aren’t any openings on the website I shoot my resume over to the two hotels in the Boston area that are branches of the hotel I’m at. After six years here, it would be really nice not having to build seniority again. Regardless, I have to get out of Chicago and away from Drake.
Going home is a test of nerves as I wonder if I’m really doing the right thing, and then telling myself I am, and then my mind starts the arguments all over again.
I open the door and Justin is waiting at the kitchen table, he’s dressed and obviously already eaten breakfast and is sipping his juice. The sight has me frozen as my purse falls onto the couch.
“What’s the matter?”
“You know, Ria, I love you, but when you lie to me it reminds me of mom and I don’t like that at all.” He’s not thirteen, he’s thirty and my legs give out. I look around and don’t see any signs but he’d been here. “Yes, Drake came by after you left for work. He talked to me and was honest with me, the way you weren’t. You don’t want to move to Boston for me, it’s so you can run away from Drake.”
Shaking my head, I fight back the tears, “Yes and no, I know you’re a fucking genius but when it comes to this you don’t know anything. Drake coming to you behind my back is a dick move.”
“I know you’re in love with him, and after last night I know he’s in love with you. The dick move is you running away from him.”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“Ria, he asked you to marry him, and because he fucked up and didn’t propose right, you turned him down.” I give him a look at the swear word and he sighs, “Sorry, but it’s so obvious. I knew you had a thing for him since you first met him. Drake Hawthorne, this and that for a few months he was all you talked about. You really don’t remember? I do, and I asked you about him. You sighed and said not going to happen. You were sad for like weeks after that. After the snowstorm, when he stayed for days, you practically went into a depression.
Come on, I’m a genius and the little brother that you’ve raised. I know you, I know when you’re stressed, even when you try and hide it. I thought it was just a little crush until the snowstorm. I thought you were happy I didn’t get into MIT because it would take you away from Chicago and Drake.”
My head comes up in shock at his words, the tears start falling, I’m unable to fight them. Justin sighs, gets the Kleenex box, and comes and sits beside me. He hugs me and pats my shoulder. “It wasn’t because of Drake, I promise you. I meant it, about you having the normal teenage years. I know what it’s like to miss out on that, I don’t regret it for a second but there are things you miss out on by not having that. In one way, you’re far behind everyone else on the relationship and friendship stakes. How do you know he loves me?”
I hate sounding needy for reassurance, I no longer trust myself to know about anything anymore.
Justin rolls his eyes, “For one, it’s practically written all over him at just the mention of you. Then he comes here, spilling his guts to a thirteen year old to figure out how to make things right between you two. That’s sad and desperate; only someone in love is going to be that desperate.
Then I told him about you wanting to move to Boston. I thought he was going to be sick on me. What are you doing to this guy? Why aren’t you saying yes and moving us to his million dollar mansion that’s been in his family for six generations? It has seven bedrooms with eight bathrooms, every bedroom has their own bathroom. There’s an indoor swimming pool and tennis courts and even a movie room. He has a housekeeper and a gardener and he loves it, and even though he thinks it’s too big for just him, he’ll never sell it. Even though he loves his home, by the end of the night he was looking at houses in Cambridge and asking which ones I thought you would like.