“Bethany, please give me my son. I need to put him to bed.”
Big brown eyes look up at me. “He’s asleep already. Please just ten more minutes. Lydia held him for like two hours, then Cesare’s uncle had him the rest of the afternoon. I hardly got to hold him at all today.”
“Fine, ten more minutes. But the next time he needs a diaper change you’re on it.”
Her eyes go wide. “Okay, okay. God, you’re so mean.”
Matteo is thrust against me. Cesare chuckles from the sofa where he’s watching us. I catch my son close, grateful he hasn’t woken up. “Brat.” I hiss as I take my son upstairs.
Bethany sticks out her tongue as she follows me. “I warned you. I’m not changing any stinky diapers. This nursery is insane. I bet Prince George doesn’t h
ave a nursery this dope.”
“Dope? Are you smoking dope?” I laugh. Quickly, I check Matteo to see if he’s wet enough I should change him. He’s dry. Although one of the few good things to come out of Matteo’s premature birth at thirty-three weeks is after spending two weeks in the loud, bustling NICU once he’s asleep no noise or amount of lifting or even changing his diaper will wake him.
“I wish, maybe it would calm my ass down. My therapist goes on and on about meditation every damn appointment. I am loving the yoga though, I should have started doing it sooner. But meditation just isn’t something I can do, shutting off my mind never happens.”
“I’m glad the therapy is working. I wish Dante would go to therapy. But no, men don’t do therapy. He’s going to fix his pain with drinking and women.”
Rolling her eyes, “I cannot believe he’s spending Christmas in Ibiza getting drunk and laid. Poor Cesare, he puts up a good front, but it’s obvious he misses Enzo and Dante. Why does Enzo have to be a babysitter? Dante is a big boy.”
“It’s safer this way. Dante has a habit of getting into trouble if left alone while drinking, a broken wrist and concussion, buying a shitty building in a horrible side of town, losing his yacht in a card game, winding up in Timbuktu after spending the night drinking and wondering if it was even real. That poor pilot flying him there at three in the morning.” I shake my head in memory of Cesare getting the call asking if the pilot could come home or if he should stay until Dante told him to go home. “Besides, Enzo says the only thing they’ve been doing is sitting on the balcony drinking while Dante ruminates on women and if he should consider going into the priesthood and leaving it all behind.”
Bethany laughs so loud I look over to make sure she didn’t manage to wake up Matteo. “Dante Sabatini in the priesthood? Still haven’t met the guy and I can’t imagine a worse priest than him. Then again he has more depth than I thought he does. It’s been since Thanksgiving that he and the chick broke up. I kind of thought he would have gotten over it by now.”
“Yeah, maybe it was the way it happened though. Overhearing her bragging about how she had him whipped while fucking around on him. How she knew she was getting the ring for Christmas and she was going to cash in on him. Not to mention the way he defended her to Cesare and Enzo, him not speaking to Enzo for weeks and all that mess. Dante admitted before he left he wasn’t sure if he loved her, maybe it was the idea of her. I promised I wouldn’t tell Cesare, but it hurts Dante to see us so happy and he’s afraid he won’t ever have what we have.”
“Ouch, poor guy. With the whole family thing of Christmas with you guys all glowing with baby Matteo being a gorgeous little mini-me of Cesare. Yeah, I get that. I don’t even want kids and marriage anytime soon but seeing you guys together yesterday and today it’s made me a little envious.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Oh my god, don’t say you’re sorry. That’s hilarious. It’s no big deal. Like I said, I am so not ready for any of it. I think it’s a good thing though, to see what a healthy, loving relationship should be. If he had been paying attention, he should have seen that what he had wasn’t it.”
“That’s exactly what Dante said when he admitted seeing us together has him wondering if he’ll ever have the same thing.”
“Huh, I never thought men worried about stuff like that. Especially not dirty manwhores like Dante. Come on, I’m sleepy. Fair warning if you guys aren’t awake by the time I get up, I’m waking you up. I can’t wait to open my presents. It’s nuts how many presents are under the tree. So exciting.”
I laugh as Bethany runs down the hall to her room. Cesare is leaning against the wall in front of our bedroom. “Did you hear her? No morning cuddling. I think we should take our shower before bed, Mr. Sabatini.”
His eyebrows go up. Although I got the all clear from the doctor a few days ago the stress of decorating, planning today’s lunch for our friends and family had me simply asking to be held by Cesare. Cesare, as always was understanding, telling me that he was content to wait until I was ready. This morning I woke up very ready, only to wake up alone. I found him up seeing to our son’s needs. I shouldn’t be surprised but I kind of am at how much Cesare enjoyed taking care of Matteo. Since I wasn’t able to breast feed as Matteo wouldn’t latch, the doctor’s said it was common for premature babies. So Cesare was up in the middle of the night to feed or change the baby sometimes without me ever hearing our son wake up.
While Matteo was in the hospital, so were we. I hated the idea of going home without my son. At the end of the day Cesare was able to get me out the hospital and into the condo we hadn’t been in for months. Every morning we ate breakfast then went right back. I never thought to ask about work, Cesare never said a word about it. We would sit in the rocking chairs rocking the baby, skin to skin the way I read would help, talking about our plans for when we took him home, play fighting over the benefits and limitations of our son playing sports over pushing him into more academic pursuits. I fell in love with Cesare all over again during those days in the hospital, his strength, his love, his care all of it given with unending patience. Yes, I’m very ready.
His arms go around my waist, pulling me close. “Are you sure, my love? It’s been a long day.”
“Hmm... I’m sure. And it’s going to be an even longer night.”
“I missed you.” He whispers in against my mouth as he swings me up into his arms.
“I missed you too. I love you.”
“I love you more every day. I didn’t think it was possible, but it’s true.”
“Hmm... I think you’re going to need to show me.”
“All you have to do is ask.”