I roll onto my back, staring unseeing at the ceiling. “Like I give a shit what they label me. Fuck suing them. She cut, she ran. I’m not going to chase her. I haven’t chased pussy before, I’m not about to start now.”
“Really? Lunch three days in a row and flowers delivered to her office wasn’t you chasing her? Pick a different florist next time, someone in there waxed lyrical on you picking out the flowers and some ridiculous vase. Interesting. What did you do to fuck it up?”
Shaking my head, I sigh. Yeah, this was all my damn fault. A little more patience, a little more coaxing, and I would have had her. Instead, I let her push my buttons until I went off on her. I knew sending the flowers was a lost cause even as I did it. She kept the flowers though. I know she has them, and I’m pretty sure she’s looking at the broken vase too. “Why do lawyers have a problem with a truth?”
“Damn it, Chris, what did you say?”
“Doesn’t matter what I said. It’s over. A post-mortem isn’t necessary. I might not know what she’s like in the bedroom, but in the boardroom she’s a fucking cougar, she got me three and a half million. You should have seen her, she had them by the balls and just kept squeezing. It was a sight to behold. She made my cock hard.” I laugh at the memory. “Anyway, whatever, it’s done.”
“Sure, right. Did you ever give her a chance to tell her truth?”
“I tried to get her to talk, she didn’t want to. Drop it. Are you guys coming up to Scottsdale to hang out for spring training this year or not?”
Travis sighs, then lets it go. “I’m still not sure. Regina is worried about leaving Pamela alone to handle the salon. It might not be the two weeks we were hoping for, maybe a long weekend instead. I’ll talk to Regina again tonight.”
“Let me know. I need to go. I didn’t get in weight training yesterday. I’m running behind today.”
“Talk to you later.”
I end the call but don’t move. I lied. I’m in pain from how hard I worked out last night, or rather until two in the morning. During the off-season I still keep to a tight schedule of working out, batting practice, and even a few hours in my office going over my properties or checking in on my investments in the market. The weekend is a lighter time, with Saturday only a half hour run or sometimes just a walk and batting practice for two hours. Sunday is my sole day of rest and complete relaxation.
Last Saturday I spent four hours in batting practice in the basement. This is my last season—I want to retire with my RBI over 2,000 and my hits over 3,500. As of the end of last season my RBI is 1936, and my hits are at 2,994. I should be spending another four hours downstairs, but right now I don’t give a fuck about batting practice. I roll off the bed into the bathroom to turn on the tub. Trent texts me, asking what I’m up to, am I up to hit the strip club for a few hours. The strip club...beautiful women who wanted to fuck, were desperate for my cock, who knew what they wanted and weren’t afraid to ask for it. I barely finish the thought before I’m shaking my head. My no is simple. Trent leaves it alone.
Slipping into the tub, I turn on the jets and tune out the world.
***
Amelia
I stare at my screen, at a loss as to what the hell I’m reading. With a sigh, I’m up out of my chair wandering my office, again. This is ridiculous, I’m useless. Even the thought of another ten minutes is torturous. Saturdays are usually my easy day, my catch-up day, but nothing about this day feels easy. I don’t want to be here, only I’m not sure where to go. Home alone with my thoughts does not appeal.
When I woke up this morning, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt I was going to do whatever it took to get Chris to forgive me and give me another chance. I would bare my soul, share every secret, tell him everything inside my head, well, except that—Chris doesn’t want to know I’m in love with him. I’m not sure I want to know it. I’m hoping I’m wrong, that it’s not love, it’s lust, it’s infatuation, except I’m pretty sure I’m not wrong. And that’s what’s keeping me from going to him. How am I supposed to be as honest with him as he demanded without telling him I’m in love with him? I know I’m not well-versed in this whole relationship thing, but it seems like a pretty huge thing to leave out.
Holly’s ringtone bursts from my phone. Oh thank god. I practically run across the room to answer it. “Hello?”
“Hey hon, it’s Ethan.”
“Hi.”
He laughs. “Don’t sound so excited.”
“I—no, it’s just, I could really talk to Holly right now.”
“I kind of figured you would.” I gasp. “No worries, your secrets are safe with Holly. She didn’t tell me anything. I’m just concerned about you. You’re in a vulnerable place right now. Between the bullshit with Mom and Dad and you wanting to leave the firm, I’m worried you’re grasping at an easy answer to escape into, rather than handling the changes head-on.”
“How do you know I want to leave the firm?” I’m stunned.
“Give me some credit. I love you, I care about you, and I know when you’re pulling away. Are you thinking you’re finally free to be what you want because you don’t have to live up to Mom and Dad’s expectations?”
I don’t hesitate to lie. I’ll never tell Ethan it was the moment in the conference room with Susan. It wasn’t about him, it was about me. “Yes—I kept thinking if I was as good as you they would care about me the way they care about you. I don’t dislike law, but I’m not happy with sixty-hour workweeks. I don’t get the fulfillment you do. While I know it’s what I don’t want, I have no idea what I do want. I’m looking forward to taking some time to figure it out.
“While I love you and I appreciate you care about me, Chris is not an easy answer to anything. He is my answer though. I need you to respect my decision as well as my relationship with him. Which won’t be happening until you come back.”
The silence lasts so long my chest tightens. “Okay. I’m always here if you need me. Whether it’s for support or a shoulder to cry on later, I’m not going anywhere.”
I don’t miss his jibe about tears, which doesn’t make it easier to blink back the tears I have now. Ethan’s unwavering support and love is something I’ll never stop being grateful for. “Thank you. I love you.”
“Love you too. Here’s Holly.”