We settle next to a table in the corner. Even though Noah has become much more comfortable being in public with his facial scar on full display, he still looks for barriers to separate himself from the world. He takes a seat across from me, his back to the restaurant.
"How are things with you?" He nods his head in my direction over the large menu he's holding up. "Work okay?"
I doubt that Noah has any clear idea of what I do for a living. We've never actually discussed it. He knows that I'm considering going back to school to pursue my Master's degree. Beyond that, his grasp on how I spend my days is limited to the few references Alexa makes to it in passing.
"It's fine," I offer back. I didn't come here to talk about the latest project that Vivian has me working on. "It's not exciting."
"Mine is." A broad smile spreads over his lips. "Taking pictures of kids is a hoot."
I admire the forward strides Noah has taken since he got together with Alexa. When he first popped into her life he was a photographer with a singular focus and that was nude women. Alexa had fallen under his spell immediately, spending weeks in his apartment in Boston having her pictures taken. Their unbreakable bond was cemented then and they've never looked back since.
"It sounds like a fun job." I motion towards the approaching waiter.
We order our meals quickly. I'm mindful of the time knowing that within a few hours I need to be at Axel surprising Alexa at the bridal shower she had a heavy hand in planning. I have to somehow convince Sadie that Alexa is oblivious to it all. I definitely have my work cut out for me.
"Kayla?" Noah's hand taps my elbow. "Did you hear me?"
In my wayward daydreams about the shower I don't want to go to, I had blocked everything else out. "No, Noah." I turn in my chair to face him directly. "I'm sorry. What did you say?"
His eyes scan mine as if he's looking for something hidden within. Maybe he is. Maybe he knows full well that there are secrets that I need to share.
"I was asking about Ben." He leans back in the wooden chair that looks as though it's about to burst beneath his weight. "We haven't talked about how you felt when you found out he killed my mother."
I lean back too, pull in a deep breath and stare into his eyes. "He didn't kill her, Noah. We need to talk about that."
***
"Noah," I call to him. He's gaining distance and I need to stop him. "Noah."
He darts his head back and catches a glimpse of me through the crowds on the sidewalk. "Leave me alone."
I push forward, trying to run in my heels. The last thing I want right now is to fall forward and end up back in the ER. "Noah, this is important." I almost scream the words. I can't let him go. I want to clear the air now before this tears Lex and I apart forever. I need her friendship. It is a part of what grounds Noah and me, is what grounds her so I'm going to do whatever it takes to end this now.
He stops and turns abruptly, causing those around him to stop dead in their tracks for fear of running into him. "I don't want to discuss this with you."
"You ran off in the restaurant." I push the words out through heavy breaths. "Please talk to me."
He holds out his arm in a comforting gesture. I lean against it to catch my breath. "I won't discuss Ben with you, Kayla."
"Do you even know the full story of what happened that day?" My tone is more accusatory than I mean for it to be. I don't want to get into an argument with him. If I'm being completely honest, my desire to talk to him is for purely selfish reasons. I just want him to accept that I'm seeing Ben. I need that for me and although I know it's unrealistic, those parts of me that want the perfect life aren't willing to let it go without a fight.
He pulls me to the left. "Sit," he orders as he points to a wooden bench that is sitting near the entrance of a hotel. "Just sit."
I do as I'm told, not so much to give in to Noah, but to rest my weary feet. I'd chased him for more than two blocks after he'd stormed out of the bistro. "Thank you."
He crouches in front of me, resting his hands on either side of me. "I told you to stay away from him. You went back to see him, didn't you?"
Noah's emotions are all right there at the surface. There's no masking the anger and frustration. He's pissed at me. "I did."
"Why the fuck would you do that?"
His hand balls into a fist next to me. I'm not fearful that he'll hurt me. He won't. I trust Noah with my life. I know that he's in pain. I know that my relationship with Ben is a constant, and unwelcome, reminder of the day he lost his mother.
"I care about him."
He leans closer, his breath hot on my forehead. "How can you care about a man who has hurt so many people?"
"Noah." I clench my hands together in my lap. My intention isn't to hurt him. I'm doing that already and it's breaking me a little inside. I know about his past. I know that he was stabbed and the physical and emotional scars of that pushed him into being a recluse for years. I know he lives with a depth of internal pain that I can't comprehend. I've heard enough from Lex to understand. "He's not who you think he is."