“The way we are now, you mean?” Brav raised an eyebrow at her and nodded his chin, indicating the way she was still sitting on his lap.
“Well…” She blushed, her cheeks going rosy pink. “Yes, I guess so.”
“Don’t think it’ll be hard,” Brav told her. “Since all I seem to want to do is hold you and never let you go, little girl.”
“I feel the same way,” Danielle admitted softly. She nibbled her lower lip. “But Bravik, we have to be careful. We’re having all these emotions caused by exposure to the Mother Stone’s radiation but in actuality, we’re just friends and coworkers. Things are going to get really awkward once we go back to the Mother Ship and all these feelings fade. So we need to be cautious about ah…” She cleared her throat. “About how far we, uh, go with each other.”
Brav had to admit that she was right. Presumably once they were back home and away from the influence of the Mother Stone, the intense feelings of need and desire he felt for the little female would fade—and her feelings would fade for him too.
She’s afraid we’ll do something irreversible while we’re being affected by that fucking weird pink radiation, he thought. Something we’ll both regret.
Well, he could put her mind at ease on that point.
“I can’t…can’t bond you to me,” he said, though it was difficult to get the words out. It wasn’t easy to talk about his shortcomings, but in this case it was necessary.
“What?” She looked at him blankly. “Are you afraid I’d try to trap you into some kind of permanent relationship while we’re here?”
“No, damnit—that’s not what I meant!” Brav ran a hand through his hair. “I mean, I literally am not able to bond you to me, the way a regular Kindred would. So you don’t have to worry about us, uh, going too far because it can’t result in any kind of a permanent bond.”
“Oh…I see.” She frowned. “Actually, no—I don’t. Why can’t you bond me to you? Is it me? Or—”
“No, little girl—it’s me.” Brav sighed. “It’s one of the reasons Hybrids are so damn rare—because when two branches of the Kindred tree breed, they almost always produce a male who is incapable of bonding a female to him. And I know that I can’t because I’ve tried—twice. Both times resulted in failed bondings. Which is fucking painful for everyone concerned.”
“Oh…” Her face softened. “I’m sorry, Bravik,” she said softly. “It must have been hard for you to tell me that. I’ve, uh, had two pretty serious failed relationships too,” she added. “Both times I was sure they were going to work out and both times…” She shook her head, a look of regret passing over her lovely face. “It is painful.”
“Yes, it fucking is.” Brav sighed again. “But I wanted you to know you don’t have to worry about that with me, little girl. Because of my…condition, all we can ever be is friends. No matter what happens here, I can’t change that.” He gave her a level look. “No matter how much I might wish otherwise.”
Danielle blushed again and looked down at her hands.
“That’s…very sweet of you to say. But if we’re going to be friends who can stand to look each other in the eye once this is all over, we still need to be careful—even if the danger of being permanently bonded is off the table.”
“It is,” Brav said firmly. “But you’re right—we need to try and reign ourselves in, at least when we’re alone—remind ourselves that no matter what we think we feel, it’s all just…” He cleared his throat. “Just an illusion.”
“Exactly.” She nodded decisively. “So I should really get off your lap before we start making out like a pair of horny teenagers again.”
“Yeah, I guess you should,” Brav admitted.
But damn it, he didn’t want to let her go! Even if their feelings were illusions, they felt real and right now all he wanted to do was hold the curvy little Earth female close and know that she was safe in his arms.
Danni seemed to be as reluctant to leave his lap as he was for her to go. But then she lifted her chin and got a determined look on her lovely face.
“I…I’m going to go freshen up some,” she said, getting off his lap at last and heading for the fresher. She held her head high and resolutely refused to look back.
Brav watched her go with a sigh. He doubted she was going to take a cold bath—she probably just wanted to put some distance between them so she wasn’t tempted to crawl back in his lap.
For his own part, it was all Brav could do not to get up and go after her. He just wanted to touch her, damn it—just wanted to be near her!