“It’s late. Maybe we ought to get sleep and worry about this tomorrow,” he suggested.
“All right.” Ellilah swiped at her eyes again. “Um, I think the seamstress left me some night clothes.”
“I have some sleep trousers myself,” Roke said. “Do you want to change out here or take the fresher?”
“I’ll take the fresher,” she said at once and went to get the pile of clothing the Tenebrian seamstress had left in their room. She turned towards the small room at the far end of the bedchamber—then turned back again. “Roke,” she said, looking up at him with wide, wet eyes.
“Yes, sweetheart?” Roke asked gently. His heart fisted in his chest as he saw the uncertainty on her lovely face.
“Thank you for…for comforting me,” Ellilah said. She nibbled her lush lower lip, which made him think of kissing her all over again.
“Any time,” he murmured. “Now go get changed for bed. It’s been a fucking long day and tomorrow is going to be even longer, I’m sure.”
“You’re probably right.” She turned again and went for the fresher. Roke watched her, his heart still fisted at her pain. Gods, how he wished he could ease the ache of guilt she seemed to feel so strongly and help her understand that what she’d been taught was all wrong!
But he didn’t know if that was possible.
Twenty-Three
Stop tossing and turning! What’s wrong with you—are you claustrophobic?”
Roke’s deep voice was sleepy and irritated. Clearly he was trying to sleep and Elli’s movements were keeping him from it.
I should be sleeping too. I’ll need to be well rested before I go in the training ring with Demon tomorrow, Elli lectured herself. But the problem was, she couldn’t sleep—not the way she felt right now.
Because despite the guilt and the way she’d broken down and cried earlier, her body still throbbed and ached and called for attention—attention Elli knew she shouldn’t give it.
“It is a little bit claustrophobic in here,” she murmured, trying to give an excuse for her restlessness. Which was partially true—the strange little alcove their mattress was shoved into, was pretty cramped for two—especially when one of the two was as large as Roke. He had offered to sleep on the floor but Elli had declined, she hadn’t wanted to feel all alone in the big bed in the vast, spooky bedchamber.
Or maybe you just wanted an excuse to have him in bed with you, whispered a reproving little voice in her head.
“You can have the outside if you want,” Roke offered, motioning to the outer opening in the wall where the alcove was located. “Please—be my guest.”
“All right.” Elli crawled over him, very conscious of the way that her breasts brushed against his broad chest as she made the transition. She was wearing the night dress the seamstress had left for her—a long white gown made of some silky material which clung to her curves—and she was completely bare beneath it.
Roke must have noticed her breasts brushing against his chest because he shifted restlessly himself.
“Gods, sweetheart, try not to get so close,” he growled hoarsely. “You’re going to make me need to jerk off in order to get back to sleep.”
“Jerk off?” Elli asked rather breathlessly as she finally finished crawling over his big body and got settled on the other side of him.
“Forgot how innocent you are.” Roke sighed. “’Jerk off’ is another way of saying I’ll need to give myself some relief if you keep rubbing your beautiful body against me like that.”
“Give yourself relief? How?” Elli asked, frowning. “Do you mean…sexually?” she asked, feeling her heart begin to pound.
“Of course I mean sexually!” he growled. “How else would I be able to relieve the tension I feel when you’re close to me?”
“But it’s wrong to…to touch yourself that way,” Elli pointed out. “Wrong to give yourself pleasure.”
“Oh, so now it’s not only wrong to let someone else touch you, it’s also wrong to touch yourself?” Roke sounded exasperated. “I suppose those are more words of wisdom from your stepmother.”
“Well…yes,” Elli admitted. “That was why she sent me away to be a priestess.” Then she bit her lip—why had she admitted her most embarrassing secret to him? She hoped he was too sleepy to understand her.
But she hoped in vain. Roke was clearly wide awake now.
“So that’s what she blackmailed you with?” he demanded, turning over on his side and propping himself up on one elbow to peer down at her. “She caught you touching yourself?”
“I…yes,” Elli admitted. Inside she was squirming with shame. “I know I shouldn’t have, but it was so hot that night I left the windows open. Even with them open, though, I was still hot, so I took my night dress off. And the wind felt so good blowing against my body and well… somehow I found myself touching…touching my secret spot.” She bit her lip, ashamed all over again when she remembered it.